PMS - the ultimate relationship killer?

[BigV]

Not a thing.

The calling her on it and the "Ain't hard" part is where we differ. That is hard, for me. YMMV. My mileage?

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

My dad told me never to get into a fight with a drunk, they're feeling no pain and not thinking straight, they won't know when to stop if they're losing or winning. It's best to avoid them.

I think the same thing applies to PMSing gals. Humor them, you aren't really losing anything by agreeing with them, and when the storm is over they'll probably forget any concessoins you made.

Originally Posted by BigV

Not a thing.

The calling her on it and the "Ain't hard" part is where we differ. That is hard, for me. YMMV. My mileage?

Ok, I took the statement differently.
We are fortunate to have excellent communication.
If she takes it wrong and "starts" I just leave, lock myself in the study until she has had some time to think about it. It usually takes about five min. Then we both apologize for "being short", unless it was just one of us, and move on.

[Tse Moana]

Originally Posted by skysidhe

Never pms. Cramps sure and only then grouchy but nothing a tylenol and a coke dosn't cure.

...

The only time I get feel emotional is when I am about to come down with a virus.

Same for me, my period is usually a very easy one, almost never cramps and grouchyness is rare. When I get all emotional it's usually a virus coming up as well. And grouchyness is usually caused by tiredness or when I've been walking/standing too long and my hip begins to hurt.

[skysidhe]

Originally Posted by Tse Moana

Same for me, my period is usually a very easy one, almost never cramps and grouchyness is rare. When I get all emotional it's usually a virus coming up as well. And grouchyness is usually caused by tiredness or when I've been walking/standing too long and my hip begins to hurt.

I am glad for that Tse Moana. I don't feel so alone in being plain.

[Iggy]

I used to have really bad periods, but rather than bother others with my moods I would hole myself up in my room for several days until it passed. But now that I am taking birth control, I don't have that problem anymore. And they have the brand where you can continue taking it and stop your period, which I do with mine even though technically it is just a month to month. I would suggest to anyone that has really bad PMS and whatnot to get on birth control and see if it helps, because it really can. Now I hardly even notice my periods.

[cableguy]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Pack up the family and move to the other side of the continent from both families. Then each of you can handle your respective families electronically, as you see fit, without involving the other party.

Or just tell both families you've moved, and continue relations electronically.

Oh hell. I'm no help.

Thought about that many times - right now we live about 45 minutes apart. I've told them to back off and give us some space until the kies are a bit older. They just don't get it, they still call and drop by, not as much as before. They still send emails, but nothing beyond the occasional jokes.
I can't beleive I'm saying this, but I wish they'd just leave me alone.

[cableguy]

Originally Posted by goldencomfort1968

Let's see all the men out there go through horrible cramping, headaches, mood swings, crying, feeling like nobody cares, bloating, weight gain, bleeding for 7 days or more or less, extreme fatigue, and then on top of it all we are supposed to act as if nothing is wrong...we still go to work, still take care of our families, still run a household, etc. all while feeling like crap every three weeks or so.

I've ben thorugh this to an extent - cramping/bloating/bleeding from IBS/proctitis, headaches from working 2 jobs, moodswings and crying and fits of rage from depression and anxiety, feeling like nobody cares, which brought on the depression and anxiety, weight gain and loss from Graves disease.....
still go to work everyday and try to maintain a postive attitude, and some days I just don't give a damn.
Today my wife was out in the morning, my daughter had her way in the house while I as still in bed. Got my son's markers and drew all over here arms. I thought it was cute, and thought "well at least she didn't draw on the walls". ThenI found out she ate the secret stash of chocolate in the kitchen, and got into a smaple of perfume my wife had in her purse. Hope she didn't drink it.
Roll with the punches. :p

[cableguy]

Originally Posted by wolf

Dude, the secret weapon is chocolate. Offering it directly may be too blatant a ploy. Just make sure it's left in a cabinet where she will see it. I recommend the Ghirardelli Squares with 60% Cacao.

Yeah, that usually works, as long as my daughter doesn't find it - she loves Lindt.

[cableguy]

Originally Posted by jinx

I recommend a good multi-vitamin.
Chocolate is very high in magnesium and craving it is often the result of deficiency. Magnesium deficiency is common (more so in diets high in processed foods and grains) and the symptoms include personality changes, depression, irritability etc..
I also find B vitamins important for maintaining sanity.

We've been anti-vitamins ever since my Mom tried to brain wash us into taking them. SHe ain't exactly the picture of health......

[cableguy]

Originally Posted by Aliantha

PMS is a really difficult issue to deal with because it's certainly crazy to suggest it to a woman when she's in the thoes of it, and after it's gone, I guess maybe you're just glad it's over or maybe even wonder if you were just temporarily insane.

I know this because I definitely have a problem with pms myself. It's gotten worse as I've gotten older. The best way I can say to deal with it is to try out a couple of ideas and see if one works. What works for me is evening primrose oil and st johns wort. I pop a couple of those babies each night before bed in the week leading up to and during my 'pms period' and everything is much calmer. It also helps that my SO is understanding and usually comes home bearing magnitudes of chocolate and take-away so I don't have to worry about cooking etc.

It's a small price to pay for domestic harmony from his perspective, and from my perspective, when it's all over, it just gives me another reason to love him just that little bit more.

Thanks for the tip, I'll give that a go in another 20 days or so.
I've been bringing home food a lot lately, YUM!
I've been working nights since Easter weekend, I think part of the whole package is that she misses me in the eveing whe she has nobody to help with the bedtime routine with the kids.
Still though - PMS or not - when you hear the words "this ain't working out, maybe we need to separate" doesn't sit well no-matter what's going on behind it.

[cableguy]

Originally Posted by Buddug

PMS ? Nonsense . Just an excuse for bad behaviour . Imagine if high testosterone levels were used as an argument to exonerate a man guilty of rape .

Both men and women have minds and bodies . Being civilized involves knowing how to control one's body .

Sometimes what's happening in ones body isn't in our control.

[cableguy]

Originally Posted by jinx

Interesting perspective Buddug. Have you had children, or your 30th birthday yet?

LMAO

[cableguy]

Originally Posted by Buddug

The secret , girls , is always to be pregnant .

This morning, after the chocolate/marker/perfume discovery, she said "please, no more children". I responded with "honey, remember that procedure I had 18 months ago to remedy that?"

[cableguy]

Originally Posted by rkzenrage

Exactly, when my wife is having trouble with her hormones and acts out and I call her on it, she owns it.
S-all you have to do. Ain't hard.
& she knows about hormone troubles having had a pituitary tumor. Talk about nuts! We dealt with it together, not just me putting up with it.

It is more important to be polite to those closest to you, those easiest to take for granted, than anyone else.

How did you guys deal/work with it? I'm all ears.............

[cableguy]

Originally Posted by Jebediah

You think PMS is bad try bipolarity.

I think I have one foot on the door on that, and I DO NOT want to take another step...