Save your soul!Jesus loves you!Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near

03-14-2007, 04:24 PM

Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son. 19This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. 20Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. 21But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God

The time has come," Jesus said. "The kingdom of God is near. Repent

Elspode · 03-14-2007, 04:28 PM

"You've caused trouble for the last time!", the Romans screamed, and nailed Jesus to a cross while his own people watched. Later, they were pretty bummed about having ratted him out in the first place, so they made up this story about him rising from the dead. Much later, they started giving each other chocolate bunnies because someone finally figured out that the old Pagan ways were a lot more fun anyway.

Sheldonrs · 03-14-2007, 04:49 PM

Jesus walks into a motel and hands the desk clerk 4 nails and asks "Can you put me up for the night?

One of my all-time favorite jokes.

Spexxvet · 03-14-2007, 05:01 PM

Repent of Christianity! Repent ye hypocritical sinners!

King · 03-14-2007, 05:22 PM

No.

Kingswood · 03-14-2007, 05:51 PM

I think we have a new kind of spammer on the forums.

Sheldonrs · 03-14-2007, 05:56 PM

Jesus loves me, this I know. But I'd sell my bible for some blow.

cowhead · 03-15-2007, 11:40 AM

yeah yeah.. now do you have some swampland in jersey to sell me or what?

elSicomoro · 03-15-2007, 11:46 AM

Or maybe Jesus sports figurines, like Golf Jesus:

Kagen4o4 · 03-15-2007, 03:17 PM

that golf figurine is just wrong. with the distance the kid is from the ball it looks like jesus is kipnapping her and the young boy is reaching for something to hit him with

Kitsune · 03-15-2007, 03:21 PM

The creator of the Mircea.Gabriel.Bot has a dual bible holster too, I bet.

Spexxvet · 03-15-2007, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kagen4o4

that golf figurine is just wrong. with the distance the kid is from the ball it looks like jesus is kipnapping her and the young boy is reaching for something to hit him with

Does Jesus have his hand on that little boy's putter?

Kitsune · 03-15-2007, 03:55 PM

...

03-15-2007, 11:59 PM

Urbane Guerrilla · 03-18-2007, 02:28 AM

So why does Jesus never eat M&Ms?

They keep falling out through the nail holes.

Sisyphean, I'm tellin' ya.

Unless Tantalus is more the thing.

03-14-2007, 04:24 PM	#1
Mircea.Gabriel Guest Posts: n/a	Save your soul!Jesus loves you!Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son. 19This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. 20Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. 21But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God The time has come," Jesus said. "The kingdom of God is near. Repent

03-14-2007, 04:28 PM	#2
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	"You've caused trouble for the last time!", the Romans screamed, and nailed Jesus to a cross while his own people watched. Later, they were pretty bummed about having ratted him out in the first place, so they made up this story about him rising from the dead. Much later, they started giving each other chocolate bunnies because someone finally figured out that the old Pagan ways were a lot more fun anyway. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

03-14-2007, 04:49 PM	#3
Sheldonrs Master Dwellar Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 4,412	Jesus walks into a motel and hands the desk clerk 4 nails and asks "Can you put me up for the night? One of my all-time favorite jokes. __________________ Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the world laughs AT you.

03-14-2007, 05:01 PM	#4
Spexxvet Makes some feel uncomfortable Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 10,346	Repent of Christianity! Repent ye hypocritical sinners! __________________ "I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce

03-14-2007, 05:22 PM	#5
King Conquistador Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Everywhere Posts: 259	No. __________________ "I've shot you, Jeff. With a bullet made of Scottish finance regulations."

03-14-2007, 05:51 PM	#6
Kingswood Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Melbourne, Vic Posts: 316	I think we have a new kind of spammer on the forums. __________________ Ur is a city in Mesopotamia.

03-14-2007, 05:56 PM	#7
Sheldonrs Master Dwellar Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 4,412	Jesus loves me, this I know. But I'd sell my bible for some blow. __________________ Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the world laughs AT you.

03-15-2007, 11:40 AM	#8
cowhead halve your cake and eat it too. Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Georgia.. by way of Lawrence Kansas Posts: 1,359	yeah yeah.. now do you have some swampland in jersey to sell me or what? __________________ no my child.. this is not my desire..I'm digging for fire.

03-15-2007, 11:46 AM	#9
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	Or maybe Jesus sports figurines, like Golf Jesus: Attached Images

03-15-2007, 03:17 PM	#10
Kagen4o4 The Sheriff of Nothingland Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Melbourne, Aus Posts: 1,794	that golf figurine is just wrong. with the distance the kid is from the ball it looks like jesus is kipnapping her and the young boy is reaching for something to hit him with __________________ something we both can enjoy??

03-15-2007, 03:21 PM	#11
Kitsune still eats dirt Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Tampa, FL Posts: 3,031	The creator of the Mircea.Gabriel.Bot has a dual bible holster too, I bet.

03-15-2007, 03:55 PM	#13
Kitsune still eats dirt Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Tampa, FL Posts: 3,031	... Attached Images

03-18-2007, 02:28 AM	#15
Urbane Guerrilla Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Southern California Posts: 6,674	So why does Jesus never eat M&Ms? They keep falling out through the nail holes. Sisyphean, I'm tellin' ya. Unless Tantalus is more the thing. __________________ Wanna stop school shootings? End Gun-Free Zones, of course.

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