Separate Beds?

[monster]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

But if the kids are in your bed, every night... how do you ever manage to make more kids?

They sleep like corpses. You do need a decent sized bed, though, otherwise the darlings can get catapulted on a deep thrust. I imagine.

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

But if the kids are in your bed, every night... how do you ever manage to make more kids?

That's what kitchen tables are for. D'uh.

[monster]

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

That's what kitchen tables are for. D'uh.

That's just wrong. Kitchen tables are for putting things on. Lots of things. So it's like an avalanche when anyone tries to clear a space to eat breakfat.

[TheMercenary]

I would recommend against kids in the bed thing for anything other than the rare thunderstorm or nightmare. Otherwise, out. I think it contributes to dependence.

[xoxoxoBruce]

A family that sleeps together, (bleeps) together.

[TheMercenary]

[xoxoxoBruce]

WTF? What thread were you looking for?

[TheMercenary]

"bleeps together" reminded me of bleating deer.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Little early in the morning to be hitting the sauce, dude.

[jinx]

Originally Posted by TheMercenary

I would recommend against kids in the bed thing for anything other than the rare thunderstorm or nightmare. Otherwise, out. I think it contributes to dependence.

Yeah, I hate it that my kids can depend on me, their mother, even at night. Little fuckers are weaned, I don't know why they don't have jobs and their own places by now...

Srsly though, is your opinion based on research, 5 million years of human evolution, or just that you didn't do it that way?

But if the kids are in your bed, every night... how do you ever manage to make more kids?

Spare bedrooms, living room, bathrooms, kitchen table, etc etc etc...

[Sundae]

My Mum still has residual guilt for the fact she followed late 60s ideal of Not Letting Baby Dictate Your Life. She says she used to leave my sister screaming in the pram in the garden* because it was believed that babies needed fresh air and were trying to manipulate you by crying. She thinks that's why my sister wouldn't do anything alone until she was in her teens - she wouldn't go to Play School (kindergarten), Brownies, dance lessons, Guides - nothing until I was old enough to join with her.

I was a quiet baby. Which makes her worry I just lost hope easily.

Anyway, I read a very interesting book called Three in a Bed earlier this year, about sleeping with a baby. It's unlikely to have any use to me, but I was fascinated by the idea that soemthing my Mum considered weak and indulgent was in fact the norm for the English poor until about a century ago. Damn Victoria and her fussy ways.

I know there's a fine line between accepting a baby is crying because it has genuine needs, and indulging a child (until it becomes a tyrant at the extreme end). But it does seem to me to be a natural thing to do - sleep with your baby.

Certainly Diz (smaller and frailer than any baby, although infinitely more cunning) has never been rolled on by me, and he joins me every morning.

*ETA when she knew she had no reason to scream and there was a net on the pram

[Cloud]

"encourages dependence?" I don't believe it. Maybe when they're twelve, but as a tiny baby? They're pretty much dependent anyway. To me, the more you can hold and snuggle with your baby, the more secure and loving a person they become.

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Little early in the morning to be hitting the sauce, dude.

No, no, you see it is bow season here and I have deer meat on the mind. Spent my first hours in the climber stand yesterday waiting for an 8-pt that is hanging around our lease. I am going after him every night for the rest of the week sans tonight.

[SamIam]

There is a grandmother and her 11 year old grandkid who share an apartment a couple of doors down. All these apartments are one bedroom, and the kid and gram share a twin bed. The little girl has gotten pretty bratty since she came to live with gram, and she also seems very fearful and dependent. I think the grandmother would be doing both of them a favor by gettting a two bedroom apartment, or at very least, a sofa bed. But who am I? Its not my kid.

[Juniper]

Encourages dependence??

A lot more goes into a child's sense of self-esteem, competence, bravery and maturity than where he or she sleeps at night. There are a million other interactions with parents during the day that also feed into the development of his sense of self.

Just because a child knows he CAN depend on mom and dad doesn't mean he always MUST depend on them. A strong bond between parent and child gives the child a solid foundation on which to build - a safe haven he knows is always there, no matter how scary and difficult the world may be. It is the child who lacks that sense of security that is going to be fearful and resist challenges.

Though I was always very much available to my little ones for co-sleeping, either in my bed or theirs, both reached a natural point at which they no longer wanted to do it. I can't remember exactly when that was - probably 4 or 5.

Y'all have to get over the idea that a bed is anything but a bed. It is just a bed. It is just a comfortable place to sleep. Sure, you can do other things there, but you can do those a lot of other places too. In western culture "bed" is such a strong symbol of sexual intimacy that many people can't get over the idea that sharing it with a child is somehow a dirty thing to do.