Glad I live in Eastern PA

Spexxvet · 02-25-2006, 10:04 AM

Quote:

(KDKA) McKeesport KDKA’s Ralph Iannotti reports that a man went into a local store and asked the clerk to warm up - in the microwave - what appears to be a severed male body part.

Guess what part it was. You got it. Ouch, Yuck, and gives me chills.

http://kdka.com/local/local_story_054232735.html

Trilby · 02-25-2006, 10:50 AM

he wanted it warmed-up? Gads. Wonder if he was going to, you know, eat it!

Iggy · 02-25-2006, 11:06 AM

It sounds like he wanted to get caught. If you have just severed someones penis, don't take it to a public place! Jeez, even I know that. You have to throw it in to woods or some such.

FallenFairy · 02-25-2006, 11:47 AM

I believe the proper method is to toss it out the car window as you drive along your way... at least that's what Mrs. Bobbitt did.....

wolf · 02-25-2006, 12:14 PM

Here in Eastern Pennsylvania, it's all about good home cookin'.

Gary Heidnick had a girl in the stewpot warming on the stove, and another ready for slicing when police raided his house.

SteveDallas · 02-25-2006, 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf

Gary Heidnick had a girl in the stewpot warming on the stove, and another ready for slicing when police raided his house.

Surely a new take on the expression "keep them in the kitchen."

tw · 02-25-2006, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spexxvet

Glad I live in Eastern PA

That cold wave hasn't got to Philadelphia yet. Top this Philly.

Beestie · 02-25-2006, 07:10 PM

That's disgusting.

No one should warm up food that's past the expiration date.

xoxoxoBruce · 02-25-2006, 07:44 PM

Gave it to the clerk because he didn't know dick about cooking?

justmehere99 · 02-25-2006, 07:59 PM

Customers Cook Up Trouble With Fake Penis

PITTSBURGH - A woman who claimed she was trying to cheat on a drug test was behind a bizarre incident in which a frightened convenience store clerk thought she had microwaved a severed penis, police said.

The clerk at the store outside Pittsburgh actually microwaved a prosthetic device used to cheat on drug tests, police said Friday.

The incident unfolded late Thursday afternoon when a man and a woman entered the store and the man asked the clerk, "Can you microwave something for me? It's a life-or-death situation," according to an account the woman later gave police.

The man asked for paper towels, wrapped an object in them, and had the clerk microwave the item for 20 seconds, said McKeesport police Chief Joseph Pero.

When it was finished, the clerk handed the item back to the man and saw what she thought was a severed penis, Pero said.

After news reports Friday, a woman called police to say she was with the man in the store and gave her account of what happened, Pero said.

The woman told police she was applying for a job and was required to take a drug test. She said the man had filled the device with his urine, which she planned to submit for the test, Pero said.

According to the woman, the couple stopped to warm the device in the microwave so the urine would "pass the body temperature test," Pero said — that is, be warm enough to not arouse the suspicion of those administering the test.

Pero said police weren't sure why the woman was storing the urine in a device mimicking male genitalia.

The woman wasn't applying for a job at the convenience store, but Pero said he didn't know anything else about the job.

The chief said the woman planned to come to the police station for an interview. Police Friday night said they had no new information and said the chief would have to answer any further questions on Monday.

Pero wouldn't release the names of the man or woman. Charges, including harassment and disorderly conduct, were possible, he said.

The clerk at the Giant Eagle Get Go! is "still visibly shaking," Pero said.

Giant Eagle, which owns the convenience store, said the microwave will be discarded.

SouthOfNoNorth · 02-27-2006, 09:47 AM

i was actually near the municipal office/getgo in the area when all of the news crews were there covering this. my company represents the city of mckeesport in engineering matters, so me and one of the field guys were on site doing something else at the time. we were actually told the story by one of the municipal reps - and at the time they still thought it was a real "member" - you should have seen the look on her face.

doesn't really surprise me, though, even if it had been real. mckeesport is home to some very weird shit on a regular basis.

FallenFairy · 02-28-2006, 05:55 AM

Ahhh yes - McKeesport IS home to weird shit.... Glassport. Clairton and please don't overlook North Versailles... lol.

Trilby · 02-28-2006, 06:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justmehere99

Pero said police weren't sure why the woman was storing the urine in a device mimicking male genitalia.

well, DUH! To insert and keep it as warm as possible ya dinks!

Kitsune · 02-28-2006, 08:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna

he wanted it warmed-up?

Rather conviently, unlike a baked potato, there is definately no need to poke a hole in it first.

SouthOfNoNorth · 02-28-2006, 01:40 PM

here's a thought:

if she microwaves it, then spills some on her lap on the way, scalding her ..........does she get to sue getgo?

umm.......gross.

02-25-2006, 10:50 AM	#2
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	he wanted it warmed-up? Gads. Wonder if he was going to, you know, eat it! __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

02-25-2006, 11:06 AM	#3
Iggy Back and ready to tart up the place Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Kansas Posts: 850	It sounds like he wanted to get caught. If you have just severed someones penis, don't take it to a public place! Jeez, even I know that. You have to throw it in to woods or some such. __________________ Chock-full of naughty goodness.

02-25-2006, 11:47 AM	#4
FallenFairy nope Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 322	I believe the proper method is to toss it out the car window as you drive along your way... at least that's what Mrs. Bobbitt did..... __________________ ~going, going... gone now

02-25-2006, 12:14 PM	#5
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Here in Eastern Pennsylvania, it's all about good home cookin'. Gary Heidnick had a girl in the stewpot warming on the stove, and another ready for slicing when police raided his house. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

02-25-2006, 07:10 PM	#8
Beestie -◊\|≡·∙■·∙≡\|◊- Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Parts unknown. Posts: 4,081	That's disgusting. No one should warm up food that's past the expiration date. __________________ ♠ ♥ ♣ ♦

02-25-2006, 07:44 PM	#9
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Gave it to the clerk because he didn't know dick about cooking? __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

02-25-2006, 07:59 PM	#10
justmehere99 Expectorant Inspector Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Somewhere In Pennsylvania Posts: 31	Customers Cook Up Trouble With Fake Penis PITTSBURGH - A woman who claimed she was trying to cheat on a drug test was behind a bizarre incident in which a frightened convenience store clerk thought she had microwaved a severed penis, police said. The clerk at the store outside Pittsburgh actually microwaved a prosthetic device used to cheat on drug tests, police said Friday. The incident unfolded late Thursday afternoon when a man and a woman entered the store and the man asked the clerk, "Can you microwave something for me? It's a life-or-death situation," according to an account the woman later gave police. The man asked for paper towels, wrapped an object in them, and had the clerk microwave the item for 20 seconds, said McKeesport police Chief Joseph Pero. When it was finished, the clerk handed the item back to the man and saw what she thought was a severed penis, Pero said. After news reports Friday, a woman called police to say she was with the man in the store and gave her account of what happened, Pero said. The woman told police she was applying for a job and was required to take a drug test. She said the man had filled the device with his urine, which she planned to submit for the test, Pero said. According to the woman, the couple stopped to warm the device in the microwave so the urine would "pass the body temperature test," Pero said — that is, be warm enough to not arouse the suspicion of those administering the test. Pero said police weren't sure why the woman was storing the urine in a device mimicking male genitalia. The woman wasn't applying for a job at the convenience store, but Pero said he didn't know anything else about the job. The chief said the woman planned to come to the police station for an interview. Police Friday night said they had no new information and said the chief would have to answer any further questions on Monday. Pero wouldn't release the names of the man or woman. Charges, including harassment and disorderly conduct, were possible, he said. The clerk at the Giant Eagle Get Go! is "still visibly shaking," Pero said. Giant Eagle, which owns the convenience store, said the microwave will be discarded.

02-27-2006, 09:47 AM	#11
SouthOfNoNorth Colloquialist Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Pittsburgh, Pa Posts: 77	i was actually near the municipal office/getgo in the area when all of the news crews were there covering this. my company represents the city of mckeesport in engineering matters, so me and one of the field guys were on site doing something else at the time. we were actually told the story by one of the municipal reps - and at the time they still thought it was a real "member" - you should have seen the look on her face. doesn't really surprise me, though, even if it had been real. mckeesport is home to some very weird shit on a regular basis. __________________ Don't you worry about the day-glo orange life preserver, it won't save you. Swim for the shores just as fast as you're able.....

02-28-2006, 05:55 AM	#12
FallenFairy nope Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 322	Ahhh yes - McKeesport IS home to weird shit.... Glassport. Clairton and please don't overlook North Versailles... lol. __________________ ~going, going... gone now

02-28-2006, 01:40 PM	#15
SouthOfNoNorth Colloquialist Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Pittsburgh, Pa Posts: 77	here's a thought: if she microwaves it, then spills some on her lap on the way, scalding her ..........does she get to sue getgo? umm.......gross. __________________ Don't you worry about the day-glo orange life preserver, it won't save you. Swim for the shores just as fast as you're able.....

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