attachment issues

[xoxoxoBruce]

Jesus.....well, your present arrangement is mutually beneficial.
He's apparently up front about his plans and you are better off than you were....for a long time.

The problem is obviously...the future. What are you going to do when this arrangment goes away? What can you do to prepare? Have you any marketable skills so you could support yourself?
I hope your not thinking you'll still be welcome when the wife arrives. That's not likely for very long.

I hope you get it together for a happily ever after. Good luck.

[extemporaneous]

haha ... the future always seems to be the problem, i could never figure out that whole space/time continuum ... but yes i am a painter. and no matter where i go things need paint... so i guess im good there. fuck the wife, im not sticking around for all that bullshit. hahaha... where at in philly burbs are you...i used to live in holland and warminster

[xoxoxoBruce]

Delco, but spend a lot of time in Blue Ball/New Holland/Leola.

[extemporaneous]

hmm..that's where i got locked up. in folcroft, at the train station.

[Trilby]

Originally Posted by extemporaneous

hmm..that's where i got locked up. in folcroft, at the train station.

You got locked up at a train station? Or, you were at a train station when they arrested you? Cuffed front or back?

I feel for you, extempor. Sometimes life is messed up. Gotta protect your heart, though. I think this guy is using you. Just a gut feeling. I hope he's not--

to answer your original question, though, yeah, you can live with somebody, screw them blind and know all their little secrets and still one day just up and go. Or, they can up and go on you. It happens.

[Madman]

Originally Posted by extemporaneous

... content ... we make music (piano/guitar) and cook and watch movies and laugh and smoke weed and make baby dinosaur noises and keep each other warm at night and i hope this helps you understand where im coming from just a little i dont know what else to say except for i wish our water was turned on its so hard to live without it.

Yes, it does tell me a lot.

Get your head out of your ass and quit feeling sorry for yourself. You are apparently an adult now. Act like one and start making decisions that will turn your life around. That "person" your living with? Whats his problem? Does he smoke so much pot that he can't go out and get a job. If your child is not with you then you go out and get a job too.

Fucking whiney assed potheads. Grow the fuck up.

[mrnoodle]

Madman said it a bit bluntly, but it needed to be said. You can't dig your way out of a hole, you have to climb. Dump the lying twofaced bastard who has convinced 2 women that he loves them (when he loves neither). You are trading your future for a warm body to make music, cook, and watch movies with. There is more to life, even if you can't see it now.

Smoking weed makes it nearly impossible to get the motivation to make a big change. You're using it to avoid dealing with life. It works great, too. But when you run out of weed or just get tired of being high, reality is still there, waiting to punch you in the throat. Take charge of your future. Don't allow yourself to be beaten -- no one can make you fail but yourself.

/drphil

[Trilby]

madman--sorta harsh (me, I'm a new leaf)

anyway, there are a LOT of bills I would ignore but I wouldn't ignore the water bill.

[Madman]

I offer an apology to those that have been members of this forum for so long. I'm new and I do know new people should take things a bit slower so the longtime members will get to know the newcomers better before they (me) spout off so quickly.

It is a touchy topic with me. I spent 20 years in the military. Unfortunately, compasion for nonsense is not one of my stronger attributes. Pity parties neither work nor will I support them.

For extemporaneous; Wake up! Life is not easy. Life is a learning process that you can work through - key word: WORK! You're young and you have your life ahead of you. Quit the pot smoking. If you want to work at bullshit jobs that pay just better than minimum wage all your life then keep smoking the pot. If you want to progress to something better than what you are and have then work for it.

Set goals. Start small and go from there. Write these goals down on paper. Plan ahead and keep track of your accomplishments - no matter how small they may seem to you or others. Your life and your future is in your hands. Make the best of it.

Don't settle for some cracked out, pot headed toilet psychologist that has a revelation of insight with every drag of a joint. Don't settle for the "pretty boy" that is cute and hot. Look for someone that has a sense of responsibility and isn't so into himself (when you find one he'll be cute and hot anyway).

And don't ever give up trying to do the right thing. You'll hit all kinds of stumbling blocks, walls and problems along the way. That's life and you already know that.

There is a wealth of information from the people on this forum. All you have to do is ask.

Good luck to you.

[extemporaneous]

it seems to me that you really dont know who i am and think i live in a pile of shit. which is cool. i cant get my son back for 6 months even if i hit the power ball ...it takes time. but i work i buy my water and shower at a friends...it's a temporary setback until theres 5 grand to throw at the city to fix the pipe outfront. i am just having a relationship with somebody and talking about it on some website...and i smoke weed. and love every second of it. because after i baby sit, clean, and work, all of which i love to do, relaxing sounds like a wonderful idea and i couldnt think of a better way then to smoke a nice fat dutch master stuffed with some kindbud and read a book and have sex and go to sleep. but, hey, im sorry that this sad society got a hold on you. life isnt written. it's unfolding. let the reigns go to the unfolding. im not bitching about my horrible, depressing life. im explaining it to those who asked to read it....maybe if you havent read all the posts i cant place my emotions with thoughts because i have MID so when i am lucky enough to recall my past, it's just like reciting a story. but maybe next time you wont make an ass out of u and me. i do that enough for myself...haha...

Once you are a parent you no longer have the luxury of being able to take the time to "find out what you want to do". You do what you need to do to be the best parent you can be RIGHT NOW.
If you have a mental illness, you take care of it in the best possible way you can. That means, taking your meds, all the time, without fail, staying in therapy, being honest with yourself, your therapist and boss AT ALL TIMES.
NO DRUGS and no drinking if that is a problem in any way.
Once you decide to have kids, & it is always a decision, it is about them first, every day.
If the guy takes away from that, meaning if he is not equally commited to your being a good parent, end it, yesterday.
That is all.

[extemporaneous]

he doesnt take away from my son. my sons father gave my son to the city when i got locked up. i have completed everything i can possibly do to get him back and now all i can do is work sleep and eat.

Good... your posts just seemed, um, disconnected, in some ways, most likely how I was reading them. Like there was far more going on than that.
As long as you are staying focused on getting your son back and your current track is doing that in the best/healthiest way possible, that is awesome.

[Madman]

Yep! Sounds like you really got your priorities in line.

Good luck to ya'......

[yesman065]

As a past drug user and abuser, it amazes me that you have set your priorities to getting laid and getting high. Way to teach your child about life!! You seem to put those priorities way in front of raising and caring for your son. How the hell is he supposed to learn how to be a productive member of society if the only example he has to follow is his mother who cares more about twisting up a fatty, feeling high and getting laid. You seem like just the kind a parent a child doesn't need. Maybe your son is better off with the state. At least they have water. Geez get your shit together and realize that you are a role model for him and no longer have the luxury of avoiding all your problems. Every time you hit a blunt and veg out you are taking away from his opportunities, his life, and reducing his chance of success. You say you were locked up like its something to be proud of - are you an idiot on top of everything else??? News Flash - Getting arrested is NOT cool, not something to be proud of.
Lemme tell you something. There is no feeling in the world than knowing your children are proud of you, who you are and what you've accomplished in life. You are just wasting time (the only thing you can NEVER get back) and creating many many regrets for which you will further have to "smoke to forget". At this point I'm so irate that you aren't even worth MY time to write how misguided, irresponsible and immature you are being. I pray your son stays with the state and finds a better, no make that, ANY parent to guide him through life. Get a grip and get a clue - you have neither of either.