The Cellar  

Go Back   The Cellar > Main > Health

Health Keeping your body well enough to support your head

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-20-2019, 06:15 PM   #1
Flint
Snowflake
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Dystopia
Posts: 13,136
A rough couple of years

I've always had peaks and dips, but it seems to be on a downward trajectory. I don't know if it's just getting older, or the accumulation of trauma I've been through, but my peaks aren't high enough to be a productive member of society, and my dips are bordering on sabotage. I've been thinking about what I would need to pull me out of this mindset, but in the meantime I don't have enough resilience to weather the challenges. So I'm to the point of just sitting and staring at the wall.

I don't open my mail or pay my bills, I'm late to work every day, I don't have a running car, I've only got a few people I can talk to, and my time to have a good relationship with my children is slipping through my fingers. I'm certain, with good reason, that everyone I know is disappointed in me at best, or outright adversarial at worst.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk!
__________________
******************
There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there
it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your
expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever
gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio
Flint is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-20-2019, 07:41 PM   #2
sexobon
I love it when a plan comes together.
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9,793
Well then, it sucks to be you.

Have you considered reinventing yourself? It's a technique.

If that doesn't appeal, I'll turn you over to lumberjim for guided remedial action.

BTW, what does your health care provider have to say about this?
sexobon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-20-2019, 08:49 PM   #3
monster
I hear them call the tide
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flint View Post
I've always had peaks and dips, but it seems to be on a downward trajectory. I don't know if it's just getting older, or the accumulation of trauma I've been through, but my peaks aren't high enough to be a productive member of society, and my dips are bordering on sabotage. I've been thinking about what I would need to pull me out of this mindset, but in the meantime I don't have enough resilience to weather the challenges. So I'm to the point of just sitting and staring at the wall.

I don't open my mail or pay my bills, I'm late to work every day, I don't have a running car, I've only got a few people I can talk to, and my time to have a good relationship with my children is slipping through my fingers. I'm certain, with good reason, that everyone I know is disappointed in me at best, or outright adversarial at worst.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk!
Oh Flint, that's a horrible place to be. Do you have a diagnosis/receive any treatment/counselling for your mental health? Even if you are not interested in medication or counseling, you might be able to get FMLA to protect your job while you try to get into a better place (although they do usually require you be be undergoing some kind of treatment program for that, I think). Not ideal, but maybe a starting point. Go see someone next time you have a strong moment. Do it. There will be a way out. We're here for you and are not disappointed in you. And want to help.
__________________
The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart
monster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-20-2019, 09:17 PM   #4
sexobon
I love it when a plan comes together.
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9,793
Yes, listen to tw. His suggestion is favorably considered by others.

Quote:
tw............................................................….11-10-2017 09:24 PM

> Once upon a time, when I was at the lowest point of my life, and was so desperate and hopeless that my loneliness outweighed my desire for privacy ...


Having said that and what follows, then you have already done what is always a hard part. Curious is that you did not take the next step - talk to a psychologist. That is what they are good at. Other than finding one, that next step should have been the easy part. If for no other reason, to have a trusted person say if you really have a problem or provide some advise that others cannot provide.

Did it not occur to you or did no one suggest it?

Either a question of curiosity (why some don't do it) or maybe something to consider. That was such a revealing post that I wondered if you are actually seeking advise.

For no other reason, consider a psychologist if only to learn if it is worthwhile or necessary. No reason to discuss it in The Cellar.
sexobon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-20-2019, 10:04 PM   #5
Undertoad
Radical Centrist
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
Quote:
I don't have enough resilience
You have characterized yourself this way; that is all your invention; and you can characterize yourself in other ways over time. LJ will be around after the game to explain.

Anyway, it's not the case. Human beings are enormously resilient.

You have a responsibility to take care of yourself. It's not an easy responsibility to see. Your situation is dire, as is all of ours too. It will continue to deteriorate, until the point at which you will suffer harder. This just leads to more shame and resentment and trouble. The only answer is to take care of yourself. You have nothing better to do and nothing more important.
Undertoad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2019, 06:17 AM   #6
Griff
still says videotape
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 26,813
Wise thoughts.

Be kind to yourself. However you do it you're going to have to assert your authority over your own mind and by extension your life. I'd start with my GP. You matter to me man, get some help.
__________________
If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you.
- Louis D. Brandeis
Griff is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2019, 08:52 AM   #7
Undertoad
Radical Centrist
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
I only know cos I have been there
Undertoad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2019, 10:02 AM   #8
limey
Encroaching on your decrees
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland
Posts: 7,016
I'm here with everyone else cheering you on. I don't know what healthcare options are open to you in the States but as Monster says, take a day when you are feeling stronger to take steps to access the help you can. Do you have a close friend who can help you with this?
As UT says nothing is more important than taking care of yourself. If doing it for yourself is not motivation enough, do it for your children. They DO care, and WILL appreciate your efforts.
__________________
Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of
limey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2019, 10:56 AM   #9
lumberjim
I can hear my ears
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
recognizing the issue is a good start. you should still have my cell number, use it if you want to talk it through.



Sounds like you've got the fukkits. Forgive yourself first. You have been acting according to your current level of consciousness. Sounds like you're spending psychological time in the past, cultivating regret. quit that. It's ok to recognize it, feel it for some time, but then you have to let it die. Sounds trite, but just don't think about it as much. Apologize to those you can, if you can... if you've done something that warrants is.. I think you may find that they are not actually disappointed in you. Maybe by your actions... but you're a good dude at heart.



Increasing your inner awareness is step one of fixing your actions. And aint nothing wrong with staring at a wall. It's what's going on between your ears. Where...or WHEN... are you when you stare at it?



I feel like I always give the same advice, and sound like a nutter harping on a religion....BUT.. I'll risk that if it helps you some.






watch more of his videos as they come up. Dude is soothing, and makes lots of sense. Sahdguru is another good one.



You'll be OK. because you ARE already ok, you just have to see it.
__________________
This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality
Embrace this moment, remember
We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan
lumberjim is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2019, 11:49 AM   #10
Diaphone Jim
Junior Master Dwellar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Northern California
Posts: 2,122
"...if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track."

That is part of the quote from Terry Bozzio you chose for The Cellar.
That is simple advice, as well as free and effective.
Diaphone Jim is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2019, 12:04 PM   #11
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
I am not disappointed in you, because you did the hard thing which was speaking up. You are stronger than you want to give yourself credit for.

Are you still in the Portland area? Or did you come back to Texas?
Clodfobble is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2019, 12:32 PM   #12
Undertoad
Radical Centrist
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
Quote:
Sounds like you've got the fukkits.
I know so many people that have it, it is a serious problem at about our age
Undertoad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2019, 04:52 PM   #13
Dude111
An Awesome Dude
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 1,111
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flint
I've always had peaks and dips, but it seems to be on a downward trajectory. I don't know if it's just getting older, or the accumulation of trauma I've been through, but my peaks aren't high enough to be a productive member of society, and my dips are bordering on sabotage. I've been thinking about what I would need to pull me out of this mindset, but in the meantime I don't have enough resilience to weather the challenges. So I'm to the point of just sitting and staring at the wall.

I don't open my mail or pay my bills, I'm late to work every day, I don't have a running car, I've only got a few people I can talk to, and my time to have a good relationship with my children is slipping through my fingers. I'm certain, with good reason, that everyone I know is disappointed in me at best, or outright adversarial at worst.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk!
Im so sorry buddy,ill say a prayer that things get better for you
Dude111 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-22-2019, 02:08 PM   #14
lisa
Etherial
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: CA
Posts: 153
Quote:
Originally Posted by Undertoad View Post
> Sounds like you've got the fukkits.
I know so many people that have it, it is a serious problem at about our age
<raises hand> I sure have. The key phrase for me is when I have "What's the point?" constantly running through my head -- about everything.

It's something to get through... Can definitely be hard, though
lisa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-22-2019, 03:16 PM   #15
glatt
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 27,717
This guy is a nut, but he speaks wisdom.
glatt is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:21 AM.


Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.