Marriage question for guys

Hime · 10-05-2007, 11:26 AM

Kind of a weird question, I guess: if you are married and share a bank account with your wife, how would you react to coming home and finding your wife waiting to seduce you, wearing new, expensive (and very sexy) lingerie? Would you be happy that she wanted to excite you, or annoyed that she spent money on something frivolous without discussing it with you?

10-05-2007, 11:31 AM

Depends on how expensive, depends on how much of the account she spent and how much she put in there.
I would worry it after. Priorities.
Frivolous is stretching it, again, priorities.

HungLikeJesus · 10-05-2007, 11:47 AM

I think it depends on circumstances. If I've lain awake worrying about how we're going to pay the bills and avoid filing for bankruptcy and I come home with that on my mind, it would certainly be different than if I don't have any financial worries.

Cloud · 10-05-2007, 11:49 AM

not a guy, but problems like this could possibly avoided by good communication, a good budget, and a good idea of how much discretionary money is available.

From a woman's standpoint, if I set up a whole sexy lingerie seduction scene, and all my husband could think of was that I spent money on it, I would
a) be crushed
b) be furious
c) think there's something seriously wrong with my marriage

SteveDallas · 10-05-2007, 11:54 AM

I don't think this can be answered without more details & context, but in general I would say IMO neither spouse should have to discuss small/routine purchases with the other. The exact definitions of "small" and "routine" are going to be different from couple to couple depending on their situations.

If you're going to say "very expensive," then I assume it's an amount that probably needs some discussion. I personally wouldn't give my wife a gift that cost so much that the expense would bother her, but sometimes this can be a gray area. Would she like to have a 52" LCD television? You better believe it. But I'm pretty sure she'd be too hung up on the price to really enjoy it. So I'd say it's definitely possible to buy an outfit that, however sexy, costs too much to be comfortable.

Edit: Just to point out the obvious, that Cloud said "sexy".. not "expensive."

Cloud · 10-05-2007, 12:00 PM

well, yeah, because if I were the woman, that's what I'd be thinking about.

Wife: I'm being sexy!

Husband: I can't get it up if we're in the poorhouse!

Wife: Poorhouse? You're in the doghouse, buster!

HungLikeJesus · 10-05-2007, 12:11 PM

Just remember - naked is free.

10-05-2007, 12:48 PM

I can tell you, in our current situation, if I spent $50 on a bunch of flowers she would be pissed... just pissed... only pissed and would be correct to be.
If my feelings were hurt by it I would be an idiot for it.
Romance is free, spending money we don't have to spend would be foolish and would have nothing to do with how much she cares about me or how romantic she is or feels toward me.
If the situation were turned around, I would get laid and then have it out.
Money and romance have nothing to do with each other.
If we were flush and she just focused on the cash, then I would say it is a problem she has, perhaps OCD, and needs to be looked at.

theotherguy · 10-05-2007, 01:03 PM

Sexy lingerie is distracting. I probably wouldn't even put a dollar figure to it until the next day after my sex hangover wore off. Pretty woman. Sexy underwear. Nothing else exists.

Clodfobble · 10-05-2007, 01:30 PM

Come on now Hime, a roll of Saran Wrap isn't that expensive...

On a more genuine note: cheaper lingerie is more comfortable, easier to remove, and just as sexy IMHO.

theotherguy · 10-05-2007, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HungLikeJesus

Just remember - naked is free.

This is really what we are looking for anyway.

theotherguy · 10-05-2007, 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

Come on now Hime, a roll of Saran Wrap isn't that expensive...

On a more genuine note: cheaper lingerie is more comfortable, easier to remove, and just as sexy IMHO.

And we don't feel bad about ripping off either one of these.

Cloud · 10-05-2007, 01:48 PM

but, nothing, saran wrap, or cheaper lingerie may not make her feel sexy.

theotherguy · 10-05-2007, 01:51 PM

blah, blah, blah...when will you women learn that sex is not about what you want.

10-05-2007, 02:12 PM

On the other hand, if you contribute and feel that you are spending your own money... time to get your own account.
Personally, it is what I would do. Solves the problem, then he would have nothing to complain about from now on.

10-05-2007, 11:26 AM	#1
Hime Extraordinary Machine Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Outside of Washington, DC Posts: 307	Marriage question for guys Kind of a weird question, I guess: if you are married and share a bank account with your wife, how would you react to coming home and finding your wife waiting to seduce you, wearing new, expensive (and very sexy) lingerie? Would you be happy that she wanted to excite you, or annoyed that she spent money on something frivolous without discussing it with you?

10-05-2007, 11:47 AM	#3
HungLikeJesus Only looks like a disaster tourist Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: above 7,000 feet Posts: 7,208	I think it depends on circumstances. If I've lain awake worrying about how we're going to pay the bills and avoid filing for bankruptcy and I come home with that on my mind, it would certainly be different than if I don't have any financial worries. __________________ Keep Your Bodies Off My Lawn SteveDallas's Random Thread Picker.

10-05-2007, 11:49 AM	#4
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	not a guy, but problems like this could possibly avoided by good communication, a good budget, and a good idea of how much discretionary money is available. From a woman's standpoint, if I set up a whole sexy lingerie seduction scene, and all my husband could think of was that I spent money on it, I would a) be crushed b) be furious c) think there's something seriously wrong with my marriage __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

10-05-2007, 12:00 PM	#6
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	well, yeah, because if I were the woman, that's what I'd be thinking about. Wife: I'm being sexy! Husband: I can't get it up if we're in the poorhouse! Wife: Poorhouse? You're in the doghouse, buster! __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

10-05-2007, 12:11 PM	#7
HungLikeJesus Only looks like a disaster tourist Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: above 7,000 feet Posts: 7,208	Just remember - naked is free. __________________ Keep Your Bodies Off My Lawn SteveDallas's Random Thread Picker.

10-05-2007, 11:31 AM	#2
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	Depends on how expensive, depends on how much of the account she spent and how much she put in there. I would worry it after. Priorities. Frivolous is stretching it, again, priorities.

10-05-2007, 11:54 AM	#5
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	I don't think this can be answered without more details & context, but in general I would say IMO neither spouse should have to discuss small/routine purchases with the other. The exact definitions of "small" and "routine" are going to be different from couple to couple depending on their situations. If you're going to say "very expensive," then I assume it's an amount that probably needs some discussion. I personally wouldn't give my wife a gift that cost so much that the expense would bother her, but sometimes this can be a gray area. Would she like to have a 52" LCD television? You better believe it. But I'm pretty sure she'd be too hung up on the price to really enjoy it. So I'd say it's definitely possible to buy an outfit that, however sexy, costs too much to be comfortable. Edit: Just to point out the obvious, that Cloud said "sexy".. not "expensive."

10-05-2007, 12:48 PM	#8
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	I can tell you, in our current situation, if I spent $50 on a bunch of flowers she would be pissed... just pissed... only pissed and would be correct to be. If my feelings were hurt by it I would be an idiot for it. Romance is free, spending money we don't have to spend would be foolish and would have nothing to do with how much she cares about me or how romantic she is or feels toward me. If the situation were turned around, I would get laid and then have it out. Money and romance have nothing to do with each other. If we were flush and she just focused on the cash, then I would say it is a problem she has, perhaps OCD, and needs to be looked at.

10-05-2007, 01:03 PM	#9
theotherguy no not that other guy, the other one Join Date: May 2007 Location: TN Posts: 640	Sexy lingerie is distracting. I probably wouldn't even put a dollar figure to it until the next day after my sex hangover wore off. Pretty woman. Sexy underwear. Nothing else exists.

10-05-2007, 01:30 PM	#10
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Come on now Hime, a roll of Saran Wrap isn't that expensive... On a more genuine note: cheaper lingerie is more comfortable, easier to remove, and just as sexy IMHO.

10-05-2007, 01:48 PM	#13
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	but, nothing, saran wrap, or cheaper lingerie may not make her feel sexy. __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

10-05-2007, 01:51 PM	#14
theotherguy no not that other guy, the other one Join Date: May 2007 Location: TN Posts: 640	blah, blah, blah...when will you women learn that sex is not about what you want.

10-05-2007, 02:12 PM	#15
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	On the other hand, if you contribute and feel that you are spending your own money... time to get your own account. Personally, it is what I would do. Solves the problem, then he would have nothing to complain about from now on.

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