What's mildly amusing you today? - Page 69

infinite monkey · 04-12-2013, 03:49 PM

Yeah, there are a bunch of good comments. I love that.

Welcome JamesB, too!

footfootfoot · 04-12-2013, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by infinite monkey

Ocean's Edge...at first I was like HUH then I was like HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

One review I read:

Did you write that? Because it's really funny and sarcastic and right up my alley!

(And Welcome! I've been remiss in welcoming you. I thought maybe you were an existing dwellar with a changed name, too. You're quite funny and a great addition to the Cellar. Now, did I read that new guy dwellar is your guy? Even better. Two for one!)

That was hilarious. I also liked this review:

Quote:

1.0 out of 5 stars Missing the batteries
I can't find a switch to turn it on, and it didn't come with batteries. This is not the "for her" product I was expecting. At all.

ZenGum · 04-12-2013, 06:32 PM

The pen-is mightier than the sword.

xoxoxoBruce · 04-12-2013, 09:50 PM

Not without the batteries though.

infinite monkey · 04-15-2013, 08:00 AM

I hope this doesn't reformat. I got an email in my spam account that came out looking like this:

We at Careerbuilder definitely know how hard it is to find=
a decent job. Our team of submit ion technicians analyze thousand of jo=
bs to deliver you the best promotional opportunities. Our business partn=
ers ABC Business International have ranked high in our statistics and we=
are promoting their Job Opportunity directly to you for your notice: =
=
Description Operations C=
lerk/Online Office Sales =
Salary: $2,000/month (plus 5% for every completed order) =
Job duties: =
• Plan,direct, coordinate=
the customers; =
• Receive/send payments; =
• Keep accurate records of al=
l company's transactions. =
• Manage the company's online business bank=
ing. Requirements =
Qualifications requirements: =
• Str=
ong communications skills( to be able to communicate with customers, inv=
estors, partners, management); =
• Solid analytical and problem solving s=
kills; • =
Strong planning and organizational skills to balance and prior=
itize work; &b=
ull; Good computer skills; =
Please send your resume and cover letter at hr@abc-inter.com =
to be considered for this position. =
If you have any questions or need assistance, please contact =
Client Support Specialist at 800-891-8880. =
Thank you, =
CareerBuilder Promotional Team =
This is not a spam. If you have questions regarding this ema=
il please contact customer support at =
800-891-8880. =

It did reformat a little but the &bull parts cracked me up. Must be an HTML thing? Anyway, I got enough bull here.

My next job will be in a NO BULL (OR BULLY) facility.

glatt · 04-15-2013, 08:13 AM

I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss that. It sounds totally legit.

infinite monkey · 04-15-2013, 08:31 AM

I never know when you're employing sarcasm.

Yeah, isn't Careerbuilder legit? I'm pretty sure they are. Certainly if things happen that I expect to happen I can keep resources like that, and monster jobs, in mind.

But I can't do sales. I am the worst. The very worst.

ZenGum · 04-15-2013, 08:31 AM

Hey, Red Bull has a heck of a promotions budget, you know.

infinite monkey · 04-15-2013, 08:34 AM

HA!

Actually, I should have made it clear: I made the &Bulls red.

Red bull...snickers.

glatt · 04-15-2013, 08:35 AM

Sorry! I was being totally sarcastic. Looks like computer generated spam to me.

infinite monkey · 04-15-2013, 08:41 AM

Technology has totally passed me buy.

I was a relatively early adopter of home computer/interwebz, for these parts, and without having the computer knowledge. I started with Windows 3.1 and knew how to use the dos prompt to get where I needed.

I can barely read websites anymore. I still haven't figured out my damn wireless crap (and I told them to just hook the freaking cable up I didn't need wireless) even though I've printed 9000 pages on what I should do.

I know I should call but calling tech support is a giant anxiety trigger for me. I have been helped a lot by many techies but I also get the ones who talk to you like you're the dumbest person on earth. Which makes me a deer in the headlights unable to speak (like what happened with HR last week.)

Just a tangent. I used to think myself fairly computer savvy. No more.

Undertoad · 04-15-2013, 11:38 AM

I got the same careerbuilder spam! But it was correctly formatted.

elSicomoro · 04-15-2013, 12:24 PM

My culture from my jacked-up eye came back today. It was not MRSA, which is great because that shit suuuuuuuucked.

It WAS E. Coli though...WTF?!

footfootfoot · 04-15-2013, 12:40 PM

hand washing

elSicomoro · 04-15-2013, 12:49 PM

I'm good about hand-washing. Best as I can figure, I had a cold that turned into a sinus infection, then was going in and out of hospitals last week as part of the new gig.

04-12-2013, 06:32 PM	#1023
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	The pen-is mightier than the sword. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

04-12-2013, 09:50 PM	#1024
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Not without the batteries though. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

04-15-2013, 08:31 AM	#1028
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	Hey, Red Bull has a heck of a promotions budget, you know. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

04-15-2013, 12:40 PM	#1034
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	hand washing __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

04-12-2013, 03:49 PM	#1021
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	Yeah, there are a bunch of good comments. I love that. Welcome JamesB, too!

04-15-2013, 08:00 AM	#1025
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	I hope this doesn't reformat. I got an email in my spam account that came out looking like this: We at Careerbuilder definitely know how hard it is to find= a decent job. Our team of submit ion technicians analyze thousand of jo= bs to deliver you the best promotional opportunities. Our business partn= ers ABC Business International have ranked high in our statistics and we= are promoting their Job Opportunity directly to you for your notice: = = Description Operations C= lerk/Online Office Sales = Salary: $2,000/month (plus 5% for every completed order) = Job duties: = • Plan,direct, coordinate= the customers; = • Receive/send payments; = • Keep accurate records of al= l company's transactions. = • Manage the company's online business bank= ing. Requirements = Qualifications requirements: = • Str= ong communications skills( to be able to communicate with customers, inv= estors, partners, management); = • Solid analytical and problem solving s= kills; • = Strong planning and organizational skills to balance and prior= itize work; &b= ull; Good computer skills; = Please send your resume and cover letter at hr@abc-inter.com = to be considered for this position. = If you have any questions or need assistance, please contact = Client Support Specialist at 800-891-8880. = Thank you, = CareerBuilder Promotional Team = This is not a spam. If you have questions regarding this ema= il please contact customer support at = 800-891-8880. = It did reformat a little but the &bull parts cracked me up. Must be an HTML thing? Anyway, I got enough bull here. My next job will be in a NO BULL (OR BULLY) facility.

04-15-2013, 08:13 AM	#1026
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss that. It sounds totally legit.

04-15-2013, 08:31 AM	#1027
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	I never know when you're employing sarcasm. Yeah, isn't Careerbuilder legit? I'm pretty sure they are. Certainly if things happen that I expect to happen I can keep resources like that, and monster jobs, in mind. But I can't do sales. I am the worst. The very worst.

04-15-2013, 08:34 AM	#1029
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	HA! Actually, I should have made it clear: I made the &Bulls red. Red bull...snickers.

04-15-2013, 08:35 AM	#1030
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	Sorry! I was being totally sarcastic. Looks like computer generated spam to me.

04-15-2013, 08:41 AM	#1031
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	Technology has totally passed me buy. I was a relatively early adopter of home computer/interwebz, for these parts, and without having the computer knowledge. I started with Windows 3.1 and knew how to use the dos prompt to get where I needed. I can barely read websites anymore. I still haven't figured out my damn wireless crap (and I told them to just hook the freaking cable up I didn't need wireless) even though I've printed 9000 pages on what I should do. I know I should call but calling tech support is a giant anxiety trigger for me. I have been helped a lot by many techies but I also get the ones who talk to you like you're the dumbest person on earth. Which makes me a deer in the headlights unable to speak (like what happened with HR last week.) Just a tangent. I used to think myself fairly computer savvy. No more.

04-15-2013, 11:38 AM	#1032
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	I got the same careerbuilder spam! But it was correctly formatted.

04-15-2013, 12:24 PM	#1033
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	My culture from my jacked-up eye came back today. It was not MRSA, which is great because that shit suuuuuuuucked. It WAS E. Coli though...WTF?!

04-15-2013, 12:49 PM	#1035
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	I'm good about hand-washing. Best as I can figure, I had a cold that turned into a sinus infection, then was going in and out of hospitals last week as part of the new gig.

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