Hobos: How do you kill yours? - Page 2

xoxoxoBruce · 03-25-2009, 01:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

Creme eggs have become widely available and reasonably priced here over the last few years. I take personal credit for it.

But they got much smaller.

03-25-2009, 03:19 AM

I don't actually kill hobos myself. I just collect the dead hobos others have killed, have them stuffed by a taxidermist, and send them to the National Hobo Museum in Britt, Iowa.

I know, I know, you thought the hobo museum was in Hoboken, Georgia and run by TheMercenary. That one is unofficial and only for hobos with bounties on them.

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Sundae · 03-25-2009, 07:25 AM

I don't kill hobos.
I sit down and talk to them about how hard my life is, not living on the street, having loving parents and a freezer full of food, and they kill themselves out of pity.

LabRat · 03-25-2009, 09:21 AM

Mine died of boredom while I was practicing my stand-up routine.

LabRat · 03-25-2009, 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NoBoxes

I don't actually kill hobos myself. I just collect the dead hobos others have killed, have them stuffed by a taxidermist, and send them to the National Hobo Museum in Britt, Iowa.

Holy Road Trip Batman!!!! That's only a few hours from me by car.

Trilby · 03-25-2009, 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

I don't kill hobos.
I sit down and talk to them about how hard my life is, not living on the street, having loving parents and a freezer full of food, and they kill themselves out of pity.

Oh, you are just brutal! Even I wouldn't do that!

You're on report!

TheMercenary · 03-25-2009, 10:32 AM

I kill them one joke at a time.

monster · 03-25-2009, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

But they got much smaller.

oh dear, I just assumed it was me getting bigger.....

monster · 03-25-2009, 06:59 PM

I never kill them intentionally,

...but these are some of the ways .....

> I leave them in my pockets when I put my jeans in the wash
> I put them in the oven to defrost overnight and then forget about them until I next turn it on to preheat....
> They fall into the recycling bin when I rearrange my desk
> They fall in the toilet when I lean over to flush
> I put them on the roof of the car while i unlock it and then forget about them
> I plug them into the circit that already has the microwave, kettle and festive lights on it
> I take them where there is no signal and forget to put them in hibernate mode
> I put them too close to magnets
> I don't screw their caps on tight enough and they go flat

SteveDallas · 03-25-2009, 08:26 PM

When Miss Dallas was in first grade, I brought her home from after-school care one lovely late spring day. She immediately went for her bike, and unscrewed the top of the water bottle that had come with it attached to the frame. She pulled out a couple deceased fireflies. When I asked her what was going on, she said, "These are my fireflies. I'm going to be a famous firefly collector when I grow up."
"Ummm... hon... those are dead."
"No they're not. They're sleeping. See, I put some grass in with them so they'd have something to eat."

So, monster, your post reminded me of that, and I wondered if there are any clues here for possible hobo treatments.

monster · 03-25-2009, 08:35 PM

stick 'em in rice for a week.

wolf · 03-26-2009, 12:50 AM

I'm not much of a do-it-yourselfer when it comes to this.

Today I asked a chickcop to taser a particular one the next time she was teetering on the edge of the bridge and just let her drop into the Schulykill.

I try to be inventive with the ways in which I ask the cops to dispose of my problems.

Pete Zicato · 03-30-2010, 02:44 PM

I just heard about Hobo Stew over the weekend. Suddenly this thread made scary sense.

DanaC · 03-30-2010, 03:20 PM

Creme egg ads are getting seriously weird.

monster · 03-30-2010, 04:24 PM

ur rite. goo.

03-25-2009, 07:25 AM	#18
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	I don't kill hobos. I sit down and talk to them about how hard my life is, not living on the street, having loving parents and a freezer full of food, and they kill themselves out of pity. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

03-25-2009, 09:21 AM	#19
LabRat twatfaced two legged bumhole Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 3,143	Mine died of boredom while I was practicing my stand-up routine. __________________ Strength does not come from how much weight you can lift, or how many miles you can run. It comes from knowing that you set a goal, and rose to the challenge. Strength comes from within.

03-25-2009, 10:32 AM	#22
TheMercenary “Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo” Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Savannah, Georgia Posts: 21,393	I kill them one joke at a time. __________________ Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012!

03-25-2009, 06:59 PM	#24
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	I never kill them intentionally, ...but these are some of the ways ..... > I leave them in my pockets when I put my jeans in the wash > I put them in the oven to defrost overnight and then forget about them until I next turn it on to preheat.... > They fall into the recycling bin when I rearrange my desk > They fall in the toilet when I lean over to flush > I put them on the roof of the car while i unlock it and then forget about them > I plug them into the circit that already has the microwave, kettle and festive lights on it > I take them where there is no signal and forget to put them in hibernate mode > I put them too close to magnets > I don't screw their caps on tight enough and they go flat __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

03-25-2009, 08:35 PM	#26
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	stick 'em in rice for a week. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

03-25-2009, 03:19 AM	#17
NoBoxes Guest Posts: n/a	I don't actually kill hobos myself. I just collect the dead hobos others have killed, have them stuffed by a taxidermist, and send them to the National Hobo Museum in Britt, Iowa. I know, I know, you thought the hobo museum was in Hoboken, Georgia and run by TheMercenary. That one is unofficial and only for hobos with bounties on them.

03-25-2009, 08:26 PM	#25
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	When Miss Dallas was in first grade, I brought her home from after-school care one lovely late spring day. She immediately went for her bike, and unscrewed the top of the water bottle that had come with it attached to the frame. She pulled out a couple deceased fireflies. When I asked her what was going on, she said, "These are my fireflies. I'm going to be a famous firefly collector when I grow up." "Ummm... hon... those are dead." "No they're not. They're sleeping. See, I put some grass in with them so they'd have something to eat." So, monster, your post reminded me of that, and I wondered if there are any clues here for possible hobo treatments.

03-26-2009, 12:50 AM	#27
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	I'm not much of a do-it-yourselfer when it comes to this. Today I asked a chickcop to taser a particular one the next time she was teetering on the edge of the bridge and just let her drop into the Schulykill. I try to be inventive with the ways in which I ask the cops to dispose of my problems. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

03-30-2010, 02:44 PM	#28
Pete Zicato Turns out my CRS is a symptom of TMB. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Chicago suburbs Posts: 2,916	I just heard about Hobo Stew over the weekend. Suddenly this thread made scary sense. __________________ Talk nerdy to me.

03-30-2010, 04:24 PM	#30
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	ur rite. goo. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

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