Public Speaking

[Juniper]

I hate it.

I really want to be good at it. But I have horrible "stage fright" - don't even need a stage, just an audience.

A few years ago I joined a chamber of commerce to market my business, and at their monthly meetings we had to stand up and introduce ourselves, give that little "elevator speech." I could do that, though not real well. It was a small, friendly group. Then we moved and I joined a bigger chamber and nearly passed out the first time I had to stand up and give that little speech. Ay, Caramba!

I have no idea why it bothers me so much. Logic, and all that. I just look at everyone and it SEEMS that they all have this WTF expression on their face, seriously, like "What the HELL is her problem?" And then suddenly I can't breathe. And if you can't breathe, you can't talk very well. So soon they ARE looking at me like WTF!

What this is leading up to is that I have to give a presentation tomorrow in front of my poetry class. We had to put together a PowerPoint thing analyzing a poem, then teach it to the class. I put a lot of work into this thing and I think it's pretty good. We had to record ourselves reading the poem. Natch I think I sound like hell -- I have such a weird voice when I hear it played back.

This "in front of the class" thing is also the source of my poetry phobia. When I was in high school I had to do something similar, but without technology -- life was simpler in 1985, pre-PowerPoint. Had to get up and analyze this poem. Well, I got those WTF looks and became convinced that I didn't know squat about poetry. I just never seemed to see poems the same way everyone else did. I figured I must be poem-blind the way some people are color blind or tone deaf.

But strangely, I seem to be doing well in poetry class. Really really well. Hm, maybe I'm not such a doofus after all.

But I will be, when I get up to do my presentation! Breathe, Junie, Breathe!!!!!

Think happy thoughts for me, will you, right about 12:30 EST?