The Cellar  

Go Back   The Cellar > Main > Home Base
FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Search

Home Base A starting point, and place for threads don't seem to belong anywhere else

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-23-2010, 11:55 AM   #3601
SteveDallas
Your Bartender
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Philly Burbs, PA
Posts: 7,651
My favorite was the eyeball flopping around on the optic nerve.

Gravdigr, that was excellent. I've always said I'd rather troubleshoot/fix 20 computers than one printer.
SteveDallas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-23-2010, 02:08 PM   #3602
GunMaster357
Professor
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Brest (FRANCE)
Posts: 1,837
Quote:
Originally Posted by classicman View Post
I'll be the person banging on the keyboard .... wouldn't be the first time.
I'm probably one you're ranting about....

Yes, Im a computer programmer...

And proud of it!
__________________
"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce
GunMaster357 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-23-2010, 03:24 PM   #3603
classicman
barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy.
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 23,401
I have no issues with programmers.
Just the printer that works only when it feels like it. Pretty much as described above.
__________________
"like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt
classicman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-23-2010, 03:53 PM   #3604
GunMaster357
Professor
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Brest (FRANCE)
Posts: 1,837
I do have issue with printers too...

Or may be with the guys who devellop the printer drivers...

Why can't they come up with printers that have the same margins (top, left, right, bottom)?

Nearly every time I create a report, the costumer is unhappy because it doesn't print right.
__________________
"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce
GunMaster357 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-23-2010, 04:52 PM   #3605
SteveDallas
Your Bartender
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Philly Burbs, PA
Posts: 7,651
Quote:
Originally Posted by GunMaster357 View Post
Why can't they come up with printers that have the same margins (top, left, right, bottom)?
How 'bout they just WRITE A FUCKING PRINTER DRIVER??

It seems obvious that more time is spent on things like checking how much ink is left in the printer and giving you a handy menu so you can click whether you need to print a photo, or a powerpoint presentation, or an email, etc. than is spent making sure you can actually send stuff out to the printer.

It's almost enough to make me nostalgic for the bad old days of the Epson ESC codes. At least you could tell exactly how things were fucked up.
SteveDallas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-23-2010, 05:03 PM   #3606
Lamplighter
Person who doesn't update the user title
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Bottom lands of the Missoula floods
Posts: 6,402
Talk about nostalgia...

MS Word 5.0 back in the early days was about 100k and just about as good as the current version.
No bells-n-whistles, but a easy-to-use word processor.

But then, things were always better back in the dark recesses of my mind.
Lamplighter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-23-2010, 05:39 PM   #3607
Sheldonrs
Master Dwellar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 4,412
Quote:
Originally Posted by classicman View Post
I'll be the person getting banged on the keyboard .... wouldn't be the first time.
There. Now it seems more plausible.

__________________
Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the world laughs AT you.
Sheldonrs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-23-2010, 06:13 PM   #3608
classicman
barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy.
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 23,401
Awe Shel. I never knew you cared.
__________________
"like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt
classicman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-23-2010, 06:17 PM   #3609
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lamplighter View Post
Talk about nostalgia...

MS Word 5.0 back in the early days was about 100k and just about as good as the current version.
No bells-n-whistles, but a easy-to-use word processor.

But then, things were always better back in the dark recesses of my mind.
I was using open office, but it drove me crazy, trying to do what I didn't want to do. Then I found TinyWord, it's wonderful and free.
__________________
The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.
xoxoxoBruce is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-23-2010, 07:06 PM   #3610
lookout123
changed his status to single
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Right behind you. No, the other side.
Posts: 10,308
Quote:
Originally Posted by classicman View Post
I'll be the person banging on the keyboard .... wouldn't be the first time.
The bed, the couch, even the floor are all probably more comfortable locations for your banging needs.
__________________
Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin
lookout123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-23-2010, 09:56 PM   #3611
squirell nutkin
has a second hand user title
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: in a Nut House
Posts: 2,017
http://www.comedycentral.com/tosh.0/...elf-destructs/

gets good about 30 seconds in
__________________
And now I'm finished posting.
squirell nutkin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-24-2010, 01:50 AM   #3612
Scriveyn
amnesic-confabulatory opsimath
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Between my ears
Posts: 739
Quote:
Originally Posted by GunMaster357 View Post
... Nearly every time I create a report, the costumer is unhappy because it doesn't print right.
Well, artists can be difficult to please

I had trouble with my printer for months. Eventually, when I replaced the USB cable, all the troubles were gone

Quote:
Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce View Post
... it drove me crazy, trying to do what I didn't want to do. ...
I hate software that is trying to guess what I want to do - especially MS WORD and EXCEL. It takes forever to turn off all the automatic formatting/replacing options and even then there are some nauseating "features" left. Gets worse with each new version.

Oh, and I'm a programmer too.

Last edited by Scriveyn; 08-24-2010 at 01:59 AM.
Scriveyn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-24-2010, 11:27 AM   #3613
Flint
Snowflake
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Dystopia
Posts: 13,136
Since MS Word replaced the WYSIWYG interface to create headers with an "easier" and "better" menu of canned options, it now takes me about half an hour to figure out how to create a headers as extravagant as the title centered at the top of the page and the page number right justified. Once they start making it "easier" it becomes impossible.
__________________
******************
There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there
it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your
expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever
gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio
Flint is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-26-2010, 11:08 PM   #3614
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
Let me state for the record, a bunch of poor Chilean miners being trapped underground for 2-4 months while they wait for rescue is not funny.

However, this MSNBC article about said miners has been absolutely cracking me up this evening. Scroll down to the bottom (you may have to click "show more text" to see the whole article first) and find the section where they display all the miners' photos, including little personal blurbs about each one underneath. I don't know who wrote these things, but some of them are very, very weird:

Quote:
Yonni Barrios
Age: 50
Marital status: Married
Driller. Wife has urged him to find different job after 25 years in mines.
Quote:
Juan Illanes
Age: 51
Marital status: Married
Spends free time with his wife. Has a son.
Quote:
Claudio Yanez
Age: 34
Marital status: Single
Supplemented mine pay with other jobs on days off.
Quote:
Ariel Ticona
Age: 29
Marital status: Married
Wife is six months' pregnant with his third child. Family says he likes parties.
And, you can filter the list by age range... in case you're only interested in the weird personal details of trapped miners who are 19-29 years old?
Clodfobble is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-27-2010, 12:21 AM   #3615
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
Quote:
Trapped miners need to watch their waistlines.
Quote:
Each miner trapped in that Chile mine must have a waistline smaller than 35 inches in order to escape through the mine shaft. NBC's Brian Williams reports.
Uh yeah, those guys trapped in the mine, better cut down on the partying and banquets.
__________________
The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.
xoxoxoBruce is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
humor


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 3 (0 members and 3 guests)
 

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:53 AM.


Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.