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Old 09-09-2007, 09:38 PM   #1
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
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Posts: 71,105
New Australian Citizenship Test

LANGUAGE
1. Do you understand the meaning, or are able to explain the origin of, the term "died in the arse"?
2. What is a mole?
3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?
4. Explain the following passage: "In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo."
CUSTOMS
1. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash?
2. Complete the following sentences: a) "If the van's rockin' don't bother ... b) You're going home in the back of a .... c) Fair suck of the .
3. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss
4. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?
5. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard "up on blocks"? Is his name Keith and does he have a wife called Cheryl?
FOOD
1. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming?
2. What are the ingredients in a rissole?
3. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.
4. Do you have an Aunty Myrna who is famous for her tuna mornay and other dishes involving a can of cream of celery soup?
5. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been nicked from a bath full of ice?
6. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?
7. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter "b" is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?
CULTURE
1. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots?
2. Is it possible to "prang a car" while doing "circle work"?
3. Who would you like to crack on to?
4. Who is the most Australian: Kevin "Bloody" Wilson, John "True Blue" Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?
5. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool?
6. Would you love to have a beer with Duncan?

via
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Old 09-09-2007, 09:51 PM   #2
DucksNuts
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How did you go Bruce??

I want to see how many you get correct.
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Old 09-09-2007, 09:55 PM   #3
Clodfobble
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I am... not Australian, apparently.
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Old 09-09-2007, 11:41 PM   #4
Crimson Ghost
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Neither am I...
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We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark.

I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them,
I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period.



Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years
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Old 09-10-2007, 03:59 AM   #5
xoxoxoBruce
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Greek to me.
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Old 09-10-2007, 05:21 AM   #6
DucksNuts
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I'm bored (n waiting for the kids to crash out so I can have a bath in peace)....


LANGUAGE
1. Do you understand the meaning, or are able to explain the origin of, the term "died in the arse"?

.....to stop working or run out of steam/puff/momentum. My ute died in the arse going up that hill.


2. What is a mole?

....a women who is generally unattractive, has nothing going for her and annoys the crap out of everybody. Or a female bogan, a skank.

3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?

....chuck a sickie = to take a sick day from work, chuck a spaz = throw a wobbly or a tantrum, chuck a u-ey = to complete a u-turn.


4. Explain the following passage: "In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo."

Last Christmas afternoon, my relatives arrived for a bbq, some liquid refreshment and some sausages. After such a huge feed, I needed some aspirin and a rest. We then opened up all the gifts, consumed all the chocolates, sweet cookies and candy. Then we consumed some cans of beer and Mom got quite angry after Father and Steve had an argument and a bit of a physical fight.

Oddly enough, Bex is an old time medication which was rumoured to be straight Coke.

CUSTOMS
1. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash?

Macca, Chooka and Wanger are *common* bogan nick names. Surfers, is Surfers Paradise which is the party capital of Australia...surf, sand and lots of nite clubs etc. Torana is an old GM Holden car. Jim *Barnsey* Barnes, screaming (literally) rock star of Cold Chisel (70's & 80's), who then turned to solo career and finally when the screaming gave out, turned to soul. Still pretty bloody good.

John *Farnsey* Farnes, first hit it with "sady, the cleaning lady", a very good recognised singer with everyones parents, the comeback king. Everytime he gets short on money he has a *one more time* tour.

Acca Dacca - AC/DC. Slabs = 24 cans of beer. Brown eye = its the same world wide and slash = taking a pee.


2. Complete the following sentences: a) "If the van's rockin' don't bother ... knockin' (meaning someone is getting lucky)

b) You're going home in the back of a ....divvy van (sung drunkenly, divvy van being a police wagon)

c) Fair suck of the ...sav = give it a fair chance/go

3. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss. I've had enough and I cant be bothered.

4. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie? Universal

5. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard "up on blocks"? Is his name Keith and does he have a wife called Cheryl?..typical bogan behavior


FOOD
1. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming?

This one kinda speaks for itself


2. What are the ingredients in a rissole? Mince Meat, breadcrumbs, egg and sauce...plus anything else you would like to put in there and turn into a patty.

3. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.

Hot cup of coffee, dip one end of the tim tam into the coffee and suck the other end like you would a straw. Its Oh.my.god good!!!

4. Do you have an Aunty Myrna who is famous for her tuna mornay and other dishes involving a can of cream of celery soup?


5. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been nicked from a bath full of ice?

6. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?

You can eat anyone elses food off the bbq.

7. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter "b" is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?

Beetroot.

CULTURE
1. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots?

I am pretty sure everyone knows these items?

2. Is it possible to "prang a car" while doing "circle work"?

Yes it is possible to crash a car whilst performing donuts in it.

3. Who would you like to crack on to?

Crack on to = put the moves on.

4. Who is the most Australian: Kevin "Bloody" Wilson, John "True Blue" Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?

Kevin Bloody Wilson or Warnie would be the modern day true blue Aussie.

5. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool?


6. Would you love to have a beer with Duncan?

Well known song about sharing a beer with mates.
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Old 09-10-2007, 06:24 AM   #7
DanaC
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Quote:
You're going home in the back of a ....divvy van
Our version of that is:

"You're goin' home in a fuckin ambulance!" usually chanted quite loudly at football matches and directed at the opposing fans.
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Old 09-10-2007, 07:05 AM   #8
monster
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DanaC View Post
Our version of that is:

"You're goin' home in a fuckin ambulance!" usually chanted quite loudly at football matches and directed at the opposing fans.
Yeah, that was my answer. Got the rest pretty much spot on, though -must be all that exposure to Home and Away when we snuck home for lunch.
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Old 09-10-2007, 02:40 PM   #9
xoxoxoBruce
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What's Esky and Ugg boots?
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Old 09-10-2007, 02:54 PM   #10
DanaC
We have to go back, Kate!
 
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Eskimo and Ugg boots? Y'know Ugg boots, the big soft furry boots, often bright white.
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Old 09-10-2007, 04:35 PM   #11
monster
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Purple Ugg boot were the thing here. IMO, they're well-named.
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Old 09-10-2007, 06:08 PM   #12
DucksNuts
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Esky is a portable cooler. Link to Nylex

Ugg Boots are leather outer, sheepskin inner *slippers*. They used to be the epitome of boganesque attire, but were made hugely popular about 5 years ago...and are still going strong. Blerg.
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Old 09-10-2007, 07:54 PM   #13
xoxoxoBruce
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The Wiki page on UGG Boots, is pretty interesting. A tale of copyrights, cybersquatting and international intrigue.
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Old 09-11-2007, 12:03 PM   #14
Sundae
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Apparently I am Australian.
Although like Dana & monster I got the divvy van question wrong.

I didn't realise Aussies put beetroot in burgers too - I thought that was just the Kiwis. It makes you all morally suspect I'm afraid.
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Old 09-11-2007, 01:08 PM   #15
Flint
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I thought they just played knifey-spoony.
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