Tightening the reins without making it appear so

[monster]

Are there charter schools around?

If he's at the neighbors', why not go and fetch him? Minor embarrassment is a great teaching tool

We deal with drawings all around the work area too. And we're not alone. I suspect that's another one in the "pretty normal" range.

Being pissed at being signed up for a class without your knowledge is also pretty normal for anyone above -say- first grade IMO. Why didn't his grandpa ask him if he would like to do it? Why didn't you respect his feelings when he said he didn't want to go? Was it financial? Or not wanting him to hurt grandpa's feelings? What would you have liked him to do here? And why?

"I try to keep the explanations as simple as possible"

Why? He doesn't sound stupid to me. Maybe he needs the complexities

"There are things you HAVE to do before you can do the things you WANT to do."

Why? Obviously I know why, but are you explaining why to him? You say his mental age is younger than his actual age, but the example you gave of his threat to get out of hip-hop class speaks to his reasoning skills and intelligence. "Because I say so" really does need to stop at some point if you are hoping to launch an independent and self-sustaining young adult on the world at some point. My limited experience with aspy-types is they enjoy explanations and logical conclusions and are great at rule-following if they understand the rule and the reasons for it

just some random thoughts, sorry