Old or New Testament God: Which is more fun at parties?

Whit · 11-15-2003, 12:22 AM

      I was just reading the Virgin Treestump thread over in IOTD and I got to thinking, "Ya know, that Old Testament version of God would sure be a hell of a lot more fun at a party." What with the smiting and casting out and such. On the other hand as I recall, the New Testament gives us Jesus turning water to wine, that's gotta be the ultimate party trick. I guess it depends on what kind of party. Old Testament would definately be better if there's a mosh pit involved. New would be far better if the muchies run short. What do you guys think?

xoxoxoBruce · 11-15-2003, 12:47 AM

Got to go with New Testament. Water into wine is cool but joint into brick amuses me. Stoning the sinners takes on new meaning.

wolf · 11-16-2003, 02:02 PM

well ... I voted, but the choice I would have preferred was not available.

I think it would be totally happening to party with some of the pre-christian gods.

Come on ... Bacchus bringing the wine, Zeus livening things up with a coupla chicks and some pyrotechnics, and Loki catching people off guard with a whoopie cushion ...

God · 11-16-2003, 03:43 PM

No God is any fun at parties?! Fuck you! (flips the bird)

I hear a lot of alcohol inspired prayers at parties dammit. Ususally early in the morning and while someone is hanging over the toilet bowl.

See if I save your asses after a long night's over indulgence again.

ladysycamore · 11-16-2003, 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by God
No God is any fun at parties?! Fuck you! (flips the bird)

I hear a lot of alcohol inspired prayers at parties dammit. Ususally early in the morning and while someone is hanging over the toilet bowl.

See if I save your asses after a long night's over indulgence again.

Thank you God for not having the cops bust down the door of any dwelling that I partied at where there was weed, A-freakin'-men!

Whit · 11-16-2003, 10:02 PM

      Wolf, you are right in that I probably should have had a "Non-Christian God" option. Didn't think of it. I will say, however, I wouldn't be for that scenario. As a single male the last thing I need is a bunch of gods in the room. Talk about a sure way to kill my chances of meeting someone...

      God, sorry dude, but it appears the Cellarites won't be inviting you to any big parties. Not my fault, I thought you'd be fun...

      Rho, Philly cops must be different from cops around here. If the cops show up it means they brought the good stuff. Unless they're in uniform, then they want half your bag for free...

Kitsune · 11-16-2003, 10:21 PM

I don't think I could invite God for a variety of reasons. I mean, what if God is an angry drunk? I bet its really tough to convince him to leave once he gets going, too. Witnessing the "miracle of turning wine into urine" is not something I'd enjoy happening at my house, either.

And as for the responses I've gotten from praying, "oh, God, please make the room stop spinning", "please, let me throw up", and "please, make the throwing up stop" I do not want to see what his sense of humor is like at a social gathering.

God · 11-16-2003, 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Whit
.... won't be inviting you to any big parties. Not my fault, I thought you'd be fun...

I can be. The reality is though, there isnt enough time to go round partying. Trying to save this planet from it's own governments is a full time job.....weekends are especially busy.

Quote:

Originally posted by Kitsune
.....what if God is an angry drunk?

Thats not normally a problem although I might chase your wife.

Whit · 11-16-2003, 10:41 PM

Quote:

God said:
Thats not normally a problem although I might fuck your wife.

      Really? This surprises me God, 'cause I thought you were into virgins?
      By the by, Kitsune's right, you've got a sick sense of humor.

greenian · 11-17-2003, 01:21 AM

Seems like you aren't voting for what god you'd like at a party, you're voting what party you'd rather be at. I voted old time god, but we'd have a theme going. Pimps and hos or some such. God would dig it. Any new testament parties would have jesus, who we all know would be the stoner. He'd set up the holy hookah, we'd all get baked off our holy asses. Or we could have an acid trip party. Enki and Athena would show up and start talking about interesting shit. People would have mind-blowing epiphanies.

ladysycamore · 11-17-2003, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Whit
Rho, Philly cops must be different from cops around here. If the cops show up it means they brought the good stuff. Unless they're in uniform, then they want half your bag for free...

Ah, but I was living in Baltimore at that time, so I must have been REALLY lucky, eh? LOL.

Elspode · 11-17-2003, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by wolf
I think it would be totally happening to party with some of the pre-christian gods.

Come on ... Bacchus bringing the wine, Zeus livening things up with a coupla chicks and some pyrotechnics, and Loki catching people off guard with a whoopie cushion ...

We call this the Heartland Pagan Festival 'round these here parts...

If we're talking which version of Jehovah, though, I've gotta go with the NT version. My behavior at parties has often required extreme forgiveness, and the OT version wasn't big on that. If I end up puking in God's lap, I want him to excuse me for my sin.

Whit · 11-18-2003, 01:13 AM

      Rho, a decade or so back a guy I knew got pulled over. Now normally this is a pain in the ass but as he had hot boxed his car he knew he was screwed. Especialy when his dad, a police captain, found out. Anyway, the cop comes up and says, "Sir did you realize that you... Have you been smoking pot in here?"
      Knowing probable cause had been established the guy says, "I'm not going to lie to you sir, yes I have."
      The cop says, "Do you still have a bag with you?"
      The guy answers, "I'm not going to lie sir, yes I do."
      The cop orders him to give up the bag, which he does and goes back to his car with it. The dude is sitting their waiting to get hauled off when the cop returns with the bag, with only half the contents from earlier, and says, "I don't want to see you around here anymore boy."
      The guy says, "No sir, thank you sir." And get's the hell out of there.
      Ah, Arkie cops. Lovely bunch.

OnyxCougar · 12-03-2003, 09:51 PM

Have you guys heard that parody, "What if God smoked Cannibis?"

I have it in mp3, if anyone wants it.

View Poll Results: Old or new Testament God at parties: Who's more fun?
New Testament	6	27.27%
Old Testament	8	36.36%
No God is any fun at parties.	8	36.36%
Voters: 22. You may not vote on this poll

11-15-2003, 12:22 AM	#1
Whit Umm ... yeah. Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Arkansas, USA Posts: 949	Old or New Testament God: Which is more fun at parties?       I was just reading the Virgin Treestump thread over in IOTD and I got to thinking, "Ya know, that Old Testament version of God would sure be a hell of a lot more fun at a party." What with the smiting and casting out and such. On the other hand as I recall, the New Testament gives us Jesus turning water to wine, that's gotta be the ultimate party trick. I guess it depends on what kind of party. Old Testament would definately be better if there's a mosh pit involved. New would be far better if the muchies run short. What do you guys think? __________________ A friend will help you move. A true friend will help you move a body.

11-15-2003, 12:47 AM	#2
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Got to go with New Testament. Water into wine is cool but joint into brick amuses me. Stoning the sinners takes on new meaning. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

11-16-2003, 02:02 PM	#3
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	well ... I voted, but the choice I would have preferred was not available. I think it would be totally happening to party with some of the pre-christian gods. Come on ... Bacchus bringing the wine, Zeus livening things up with a coupla chicks and some pyrotechnics, and Loki catching people off guard with a whoopie cushion ... __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

11-16-2003, 10:02 PM	#6
Whit Umm ... yeah. Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Arkansas, USA Posts: 949	Wolf, you are right in that I probably should have had a "Non-Christian God" option. Didn't think of it. I will say, however, I wouldn't be for that scenario. As a single male the last thing I need is a bunch of gods in the room. Talk about a sure way to kill my chances of meeting someone...       God, sorry dude, but it appears the Cellarites won't be inviting you to any big parties. Not my fault, I thought you'd be fun...       Rho, Philly cops must be different from cops around here. If the cops show up it means they brought the good stuff. Unless they're in uniform, then they want half your bag for free... __________________ A friend will help you move. A true friend will help you move a body.

11-16-2003, 03:43 PM	#4
God Not half the God I used to be Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: everywhere but enjoy the Vets club best Posts: 120	No God is any fun at parties?! Fuck you! (flips the bird) I hear a lot of alcohol inspired prayers at parties dammit. Ususally early in the morning and while someone is hanging over the toilet bowl. See if I save your asses after a long night's over indulgence again.

11-16-2003, 10:21 PM	#7
Kitsune still eats dirt Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Tampa, FL Posts: 3,031	I don't think I could invite God for a variety of reasons. I mean, what if God is an angry drunk? I bet its really tough to convince him to leave once he gets going, too. Witnessing the "miracle of turning wine into urine" is not something I'd enjoy happening at my house, either. And as for the responses I've gotten from praying, "oh, God, please make the room stop spinning", "please, let me throw up", and "please, make the throwing up stop" I do not want to see what his sense of humor is like at a social gathering. Last edited by Kitsune; 11-16-2003 at 10:28 PM.

11-17-2003, 01:21 AM	#10
greenian Simulated Simulacrum Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 39	Seems like you aren't voting for what god you'd like at a party, you're voting what party you'd rather be at. I voted old time god, but we'd have a theme going. Pimps and hos or some such. God would dig it. Any new testament parties would have jesus, who we all know would be the stoner. He'd set up the holy hookah, we'd all get baked off our holy asses. Or we could have an acid trip party. Enki and Athena would show up and start talking about interesting shit. People would have mind-blowing epiphanies.

11-18-2003, 01:13 AM	#13
Whit Umm ... yeah. Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Arkansas, USA Posts: 949	Rho, a decade or so back a guy I knew got pulled over. Now normally this is a pain in the ass but as he had hot boxed his car he knew he was screwed. Especialy when his dad, a police captain, found out. Anyway, the cop comes up and says, "Sir did you realize that you... Have you been smoking pot in here?"       Knowing probable cause had been established the guy says, "I'm not going to lie to you sir, yes I have."       The cop says, "Do you still have a bag with you?"       The guy answers, "I'm not going to lie sir, yes I do."       The cop orders him to give up the bag, which he does and goes back to his car with it. The dude is sitting their waiting to get hauled off when the cop returns with the bag, with only half the contents from earlier, and says, "I don't want to see you around here anymore boy."       The guy says, "No sir, thank you sir." And get's the hell out of there.       Ah, Arkie cops. Lovely bunch. __________________ A friend will help you move. A true friend will help you move a body.

12-03-2003, 09:51 PM	#14
OnyxCougar Junior Master Dwellar Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Kingdom of Atlantia Posts: 2,979	Have you guys heard that parody, "What if God smoked Cannibis?" I have it in mp3, if anyone wants it.

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