Favorite Stupid Sign

Whit · 04-29-2003, 02:49 PM

     You know those signs or, perhaps more accurately warning labels, that exist only for the really stupid? The most famous at this point is probably "Coffee served HOT!" You read it and think, "How dumb does a bastard have to be to not know that without reading it?" We all know it's just to prevent lawsuits, but I'm always amazed at the variety of these signs.
     I think my favorite is the one on Coke/vending machines; "Do not rock or tilt. Injury or death may occur." That's not that funny in and of itself, but the picture that usually accompanies it of a guy standing next to a machine that's falling over with the little lines over his head, that have to be shorthand for "OH SHIT!" makes me laugh. Should it be funny? Probably not. But if that's the case then the Darwin Awards shouldn't be funny either...
     So, what are your favorite stupid signs?

perth · 04-29-2003, 03:03 PM

my wifes hair dryer has a sternly worded message telling me that i must never, EVER, use the hair dryer while in the shower.

setting aside for one minute the fact that water conducts electricty, etcetera, the 'hair dryer' warns me not to dry my hair while taking a shower.

ugh. 2 degrees of stupid and possibly a third, if i could remember the full text of the warning.

~james

SteveDallas · 04-29-2003, 03:14 PM

I read a piece about these stupid warnings once... the author was suggesting that the warnings probably give more people ideas than they prevent from doing stupid things. The item that set him off and inspired the column was a warning on his toaster that "the appliance should never be turned on when it is placed so that the bread slices are in a horizontal position".

99 44/100% pure · 04-29-2003, 04:56 PM

My favorite stupid sign isn't a warning label, but a label from a little bit of "Americana" -- a wooden toy which is supposed to be reminiscent of colonial-era homemade toys. The label reads:

"Take a step back in time and reminisce of simpler times with Hometown Memories. Remember your favorite toy truck, those sturdy building blocks and that lovingly worn, fuzzy teddy bear. Recapture those nostalgic memories and a bit of history with this classic American collection."

In tiny letters at the bottom of the text: "Made in China"

xoxoxoBruce · 04-29-2003, 04:59 PM

There are so many it's hard to choose a favorite. Don't eat the deciccate is a favorite. As entertaining as these signs and the Darwin awards are, the people that caused these signs to exist are much more so. I was working with a guy yesterday that caused me to finally say "You dyed your hair didn't you. You're really blond, aren't you." He didn't get it. I wasn't surprised.

BrianR · 04-29-2003, 05:14 PM

Kinda reminds me of this website, originally posted by Verbatim a LONG time ago. I still get a kick out of it.

Brian

wolf · 04-30-2003, 12:31 AM

REST AREA 10 miles
LARGER AREA 25 miles

elSicomoro · 04-30-2003, 12:39 AM

That Dan Aykroyd/Candace Bergen (or was it Jane Curtain) skit from SNL about dangerous toys, particularly the bag of glass.

juju · 04-30-2003, 02:12 AM

I like the warning on the cap of the lava lamp bottle that says "Caution: do not ingest".

Whit · 04-30-2003, 08:36 AM

     The lava lamp thing is a little diturbing, but not at disturbing as the label on some culing irons. "For external use only." Just think about it...

04-29-2003, 02:49 PM	#1
Whit Umm ... yeah. Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Arkansas, USA Posts: 949	Favorite Stupid Sign      You know those signs or, perhaps more accurately warning labels, that exist only for the really stupid? The most famous at this point is probably "Coffee served HOT!" You read it and think, "How dumb does a bastard have to be to not know that without reading it?" We all know it's just to prevent lawsuits, but I'm always amazed at the variety of these signs.      I think my favorite is the one on Coke/vending machines; "Do not rock or tilt. Injury or death may occur." That's not that funny in and of itself, but the picture that usually accompanies it of a guy standing next to a machine that's falling over with the little lines over his head, that have to be shorthand for "OH SHIT!" makes me laugh. Should it be funny? Probably not. But if that's the case then the Darwin Awards shouldn't be funny either...      So, what are your favorite stupid signs? __________________ A friend will help you move. A true friend will help you move a body.

04-29-2003, 04:56 PM	#4
99 44/100% pure Infrequently Astonished Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Baltimore metro area Posts: 324	Not a Warning Label, But . . . My favorite stupid sign isn't a warning label, but a label from a little bit of "Americana" -- a wooden toy which is supposed to be reminiscent of colonial-era homemade toys. The label reads: "Take a step back in time and reminisce of simpler times with Hometown Memories. Remember your favorite toy truck, those sturdy building blocks and that lovingly worn, fuzzy teddy bear. Recapture those nostalgic memories and a bit of history with this classic American collection." In tiny letters at the bottom of the text: "Made in China" __________________ Overcompensating for the 0.56% that is irredeemably corrupted.

04-29-2003, 04:59 PM	#5
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	There are so many it's hard to choose a favorite. Don't eat the deciccate is a favorite. As entertaining as these signs and the Darwin awards are, the people that caused these signs to exist are much more so. I was working with a guy yesterday that caused me to finally say "You dyed your hair didn't you. You're really blond, aren't you." He didn't get it. I wasn't surprised. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

04-29-2003, 05:14 PM	#6
BrianR Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 3,338	Kinda reminds me of this website, originally posted by Verbatim a LONG time ago. I still get a kick out of it. Brian __________________ Never be afraid to tell the world who you are. -- Anonymous

04-30-2003, 12:31 AM	#7
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	REST AREA 10 miles LARGER AREA 25 miles __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

04-29-2003, 03:03 PM	#2
perth Strong Silent Type Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Fort Collins, CO Posts: 1,949	my wifes hair dryer has a sternly worded message telling me that i must never, EVER, use the hair dryer while in the shower. setting aside for one minute the fact that water conducts electricty, etcetera, the 'hair dryer' warns me not to dry my hair while taking a shower. ugh. 2 degrees of stupid and possibly a third, if i could remember the full text of the warning. ~james

04-29-2003, 03:14 PM	#3
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	I read a piece about these stupid warnings once... the author was suggesting that the warnings probably give more people ideas than they prevent from doing stupid things. The item that set him off and inspired the column was a warning on his toaster that "the appliance should never be turned on when it is placed so that the bread slices are in a horizontal position".

04-30-2003, 12:39 AM	#8
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	That Dan Aykroyd/Candace Bergen (or was it Jane Curtain) skit from SNL about dangerous toys, particularly the bag of glass.

04-30-2003, 02:12 AM	#9
juju no one of consequence Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Arkansas Posts: 2,839	I like the warning on the cap of the lava lamp bottle that says "Caution: do not ingest". Last edited by juju; 04-30-2003 at 02:16 AM.

04-30-2003, 08:36 AM	#10
Whit Umm ... yeah. Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Arkansas, USA Posts: 949	The lava lamp thing is a little diturbing, but not at disturbing as the label on some culing irons. "For external use only." Just think about it... __________________ A friend will help you move. A true friend will help you move a body.

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