6/30/2003: Deceptive ads

[bartman]

Originally posted by xoxoxoBruce
Why? If you don't let them know who you are, there's no chance of getting off the mailing list.

Heh, the point is to make it too^H^H^Hmore expensive to spew their shit out.

Besides, they seem to think I am going to give personal info to a PO box. I don't think so.

[SteveDallas]

Originally posted by Jacque Strapp

If they have a 1-800 number and you're bored, you can call them up, that costs them more than postage

At least where I work, when somebody calls the same 800 number, we pay the same per-minute long distance rates as a we would for an outgoing call of the same length. So (unless they have really sucky LD rates) you'd need to keep them busy for several minutes to equal the cost of first class postage. (Although I don't know how much postage they actually pay for business reply.)

That's true about the bricks, but according to The Straight Dope it wasn't always the case. Ahhh, for the good old days...

[99 44/100% pure]

Originally posted by SteveDallas
. . . (Although I don't know how much postage they actually pay for business reply.) . . .

When first class postage was $.27, Business Reply was $.32 per item, so I got pleasure out of not only mailing their shit back to them, but costing them MORE than it would have cost me for a stamp.

NOW, however, there are two rates for Business Reply; $.40 for standard volume and about $.35 for 'High Volume' (I don't know how many pieces that entails). In addition, the company pays hefty accounting fees each quarter ($475 to $2275) plus a $150 annual permit fee. Hey, it keeps shoes on my mailman's kids' feet.

I can't wait till the nationwide telemarketing moratorium goes into effect. Telemarketers' kids don't deserve shoes.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Besides, they seem to think I am going to give personal info to a PO box. I don't think so.

They've got enough info to mail you the shit in the first place. There's no reason to remove what they already have.
PETA, sends me an envelope with a bunch of crap, a questionaire with loaded questions and a nickel. I fill out the questionaire with all the answers they don't want to hear and a note that says "thanks for the nickel". Put everything back in the envelope including the addressed envelope in came in and send it back. So in cost them a mailing, a return mailing and a nickel.
Two months later I get the same mailing and it cost them the same. Sooner or later they will wise up or I'll be up to my ass in nickels. Works for me.

[CharlieG]

Originally posted by Jacque Strapp


That doesn't work, the post office will just throw them away. It's been tried before. The prepaid envelopes don't cover that much weight.

...snip...

Glitter is your friend! Go to the local hobby shop, and buy some sparkle glitter. Put about 1/2 oz in the envelope. When it goes through the opening machine (or is hand opened), it goes everywhere. It'll usually gum up the works on the opening machine

[99 44/100% pure]

Wow, I like your thinking! Inexpensive, creative, and gets the job done! Thanks!

[BrianR]

Beware you don't get the Homeland Security people on you for that little stunt. The Panic Button has gotten a LOT bigger of late. And lighted too.

Brian the Cautious

[bjlhct]

Ooh, how about starch? Or maybe dirt?

It puzzles me to no end that ads work.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Glitter or those shiny sequins shouldn't leak out of the envelope at the post office. Dirt, talcum powder, starch and anthrax brings black helicopters.

[arz]

Two months later I get the same mailing and it cost them the same. Sooner or later they will wise up or I'll be up to my ass in nickels.

The "negative" contribution is always entertaining. I decided to do that to the "opposing" political party after they sent me some crap mailing that made me mad.

I sent them $5. They've sent me what must amount to five times that (labor and materials) in response so far. Hee.

[headsplice]

You people rock. You give me hope in this world of crass consumerism and greedy bastards. I'm going to have to try all of these wonderful little jokes.
But, on advertising:
[Devil's Advocate]
Does anyone watch these things for their pure entertainment value? Somewhat to my dismay, these are the things that are going to be most remembered by The Future (our equivalent of Homer and Plato? Future Generations are going to hate us). What's been one of the biggest draws of the Super Bowl? It sure as hell hasn't been the halftime show. It's the commercials. Obviously, they are trying to sell you something and to do that they are probably connoting other messages that are, in general, not healthy for us as a society.
However, there is a great deal of enjoyment to be taken out of watching commercials (be it from the sheer stupidity of them, deconstructing the messages contained therein, or just appreciating the slickness of the slimeballs that created them).
[/Devil's Advocate]

[Legalady]

Originally posted by headsplice
Does anyone watch these things for their pure entertainment value?

When I was a kid, I would *just* watch commercials. I'd go channel-surfing and watch commercial after commercial. Ask me any jingle or tag-line; I'll know it.
I still enjoy commercials, in general. Some are pretty good.

[xoxoxoBruce]

in general, not healthy for us as a society.

What's not healthy about a clothes ripping cat fight in the beer garden?

[Undertoad]

HS, I love deconstructing commercials.

(I also read Bob Garfield's Ad Age column, but I'm strange.)

I love it! Deconstruct enough of them and they don't work on you -- at least not in the way they were intended to. They used that font because they want us to think they're inexpensive. You start to notice things you normally take for granted. That car ad says there's room for dogs, but of course they mean room for children. The layers peel away. They want us to feel good about banking at a big impersonal bank by suggesting that the bank has quirky customers with personality. The nonsense becomes obvious. "Professional Grade" is a meaningless phrase.

It only gets worse over time Wachovia's name change hasn't given them a clue about marketing when you start considering the broader implications AOL's "Wow" ads are so strong they may rescue the company of individual companies Dell's interns aren't as good as the original Steven character, but no other PC maker is close anyway.

[Torrere]

Wow, UT. That would be fun, and (scarily) that actually may inspire me to watch TV.

In my opinion, ads have many purposes, but the purpose that I least appreicate is to cause people to make decisions in their favor without thinking. If you make the choice and favor the advertised product without realizing that you made a choice (or why), then the advertiser has won.