Sarah

[OnyxCougar]

Originally posted by juju
Sure it does. When she gets older, she will take it to mean she's ugly, and it will crush her self-esteem.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

My daughter will be 7 in March, and I've called her Piglet since she was about 2 days old. When she was 4 years old, she told her father to stop calling her that, and told me and her 2 brothers (both older) that we can't call her anything else. She has NO self-esteem problems, and no problem with who she is or anything like that. So relax. Sarah won't be emotionally scarred if she has a nickname. (The caveat here is that if she requests you not call her that, you stop.)

Bryan's nickname is still Booger, or B, and he's fine with it too.
Obviously Piggy or Piglet is NOT something that her classmates get to call her, just what the immediate family can call her. Really. It's not a biggie. Save your energy.

[wolf]

My friend's daughter is called "Baby Dumpling".

You know that panic that arises in the hospital, when they ask you to put a name on the form? They chose "Brenna", which is a name of Celtic origin meaning "Dark Hair" because she was born with masses of it.

Of course, you know what happened ...

It's all fallen out, and she's now a light blonde.

Great picture. But you should have her reading the Cellar by now.

[Happy Monkey]

There's a good chance that it will darken again evenyually - or at least by the time she happens to look up her name in a baby names book.

[juju]

Perhaps you're right, OC. Or maybe it depends on the person? My wife, for example, resents to this day her family's childhood nicknames. They thought they were cute and funny, but today, it's just one more thing she can use as a reason to drive a wedge between them.

I think I'd prefer to actively encourage self-esteem, not assume that it will come about on its own. Of course I can't (and wouldn't) attempt to prevent insults from folks outside the home. You have to be able to deal with the world. But family should be different, especially in the very early years, when they're still impressionable.

But I'm certainly no expert. So I'll consider your words for a while longer. :)

[OnyxCougar]

Well, if you don't like it, then don't call her that, but mostly, don't get homicidal if it's suggested. Just smile and nod and say, "No, you WON'T call her that." and that, as they say, is that.

Mother of 3, nanny to 4 more, step mom to 2 more than that. In school to be a teacher. Yeah. I've got a screw loose.

[juju]

I only get mad because I've seen the pain it's caused in some people. Self-confidence is really important to me, and to sabatoge it before the child even has a chance to build it seems pretty unfair to me.

Maybe it wouldn't have any effect, but any potential retarder of self-confidence will be struck down with a vengeance. At least until I teach her how to tell people to fuck off, anyway.

[juju]

Anyway, I didn't get homicidal at the mere mention. I actually said, "I don't think I approve of that" (in a friendly/comical tone). But I was then told by my step-sister-in-law that that she would get the entire family to call her that, and that there was nothing I could do to stop her.

I didn't really get mad until after that. I mean, I at least half-expected my wishes to be respected. Oh well. As it turns out, the family rejected the name (from what I hear).

[OnyxCougar]

Yeah, watch her. I think if anyone tried to get the whole family to call my daughter something *I* didn't like, I'd tell her she is no longer welcome in my home, thank you very much, get the fuck out.

But that's just me.

[OnyxCougar]

By the way, that made me think of when my mother found out I was marrying Dave. (I don't think I told you guys this story.)

Dave is black, by the way. You need to know that to understand the rest.

So I have Bryan and we're living in my own apartment (a first), I'm going to school full time, and David has just gone back to Korea to finish out his tour. We were engaged at this point, and I had called my mother and told her. She had never met him, and found out through someone in town that had seen us together that he was black.

So she comes up from Southern California to visit me and Bryan for B's birthday, and we go across the street to the park, and my mother proceeds to tell me that she "found out" Dave is black and she's horrified I would marry "one of those". She then tells me that if I have any children with him, "don't bring it to my house."

Well, that was it. I told her that if she doesn't want ALL of my children at her house, she won't have ANY of my children at her house, and told her she could pack her shit and get out. We didn't talk for 5 months. She wasn't going to come to my wedding. My sister eventually convinced her, tho. That's when we established our relationship. We're more friends than parent/child now, and it's SO much better that way.

Now, since I've had Piglet, she is just completely in love with her, and thinks the sun rises and sets on Dave. *sigh* People.

[Whit]

      I just want to point out that the suggested nick does indeed suck. I fully back Juju's response and probably would've gone farther myself. Here's the reason: it's not family that would've called her that, it's extended family. Meaning it's not something she would grow up accustomed to. It's something she would get called from time to time. I don't see anyway that would not leave the child feeling hurt.
      Anyway, this chic is obviously a control freak. Why else would she invent a stupid nick for a kid and then try to push it on the entire family? The nature of nick names is that somebody uses it once and it sticks, not because anyone says so, but because it just fits. The need to invent one? Weird, and just not right.