So, there's this girl I like............ - Page 2

glatt · 08-28-2006, 07:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maninthebox

I'm not pushing anything on her right now.

Good. Give her some space. When you do see her, be nice and be friendly.

yesman065 · 08-28-2006, 08:54 AM

Let her go and feel her way through this thing - be nice, but NOT too nice! She knows you are there if she needs you - don't keep asking or offering - just let her be. She's got a lot of shit to work out in her mind and then MAYBE, just maybe, she might want something more. Then again, maybe not. The balls in her court now not yours. I just wouldn't push anything or go out of your way to say Hi or stop by to chat - she'll probably think you are being too pushy or stalking her.

Hoof Hearted · 08-28-2006, 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yesman065

Let her go and feel her way through this thing - be nice, but NOT too nice! She knows you are there if she needs you - don't keep asking or offering - just let her be.

I must agree. If you make it too easy...why should she even try? Any relationship begun in this manner will be unbalanced and most likely doomed to failure. Half way, then let her come the rest. If she doesn't, then you haven't committed everything, have you?
...but it sounds to me like you already have, in your mind. Get over the "she owes me a hug or at least a thank you", I don't think she owes you anything since you willingly offered yourself up as a doormat. Get out of doormat-mode and make her stand on her own two feet. If she's standing on yours, she won't respect them, she'll just wipe the mud off of her own feet onto yours.
hh

08-28-2006, 03:53 PM

Unfortunately, the guys that get the chicks are the ones that ignore them.
Ladies will tell you I am wrong... I'm not.
She knows you like her, now blow her off.
I hate games, but you bungled it, you got into her space without her permission.
So you have to recover. Just back off and wait to see if she does anything... if she does not, chalk it up to experience.
My .02

maninthebox · 08-28-2006, 07:35 PM

Thanks everyone for the advice. I was actually kinda kidding around with the hug thing from her. Just knowing that I can make her smile and laugh through the rough time is good enough for me anyway. Maybe I should tell her that? I know she appreciated it though. Yeah, the ball is in her court now. We'll see what happens over time. You guys probably thought I was out of my mind! haha

Hoof Hearted · 08-28-2006, 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maninthebox

You guys probably thought I was out of my mind! haha

No, but I was wondering about desperate. :p
Keep being you and allow her to appreciate who you are when she is ready to really see you. I think her vision will be too clouded at this juncture.
hh

DucksNuts · 08-29-2006, 01:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rkzenrage

Unfortunately, the guys that get the chicks are the ones that ignore them.
Ladies will tell you I am wrong... I'm not.
She knows you like her, now blow her off.
I hate games, but you bungled it, you got into her space without her permission.
So you have to recover. Just back off and wait to see if she does anything... if she does not, chalk it up to experience.
My .02

I wont say youre wrong. This is how I work unfortunately.

If I dont have to work at all and know that the offer of a future/relationship is on the table, I'm kinda like "eh - whatever".

But the chase is always appealing.

Iggy · 08-29-2006, 03:13 PM

I can't really say what she is thinking as I don't know her. But I know when I was in high school and had just broken up with a serious (relatively) boyfriend it was very uncomfortable when a guy friend wrote me a letter saying he liked me. I didn't want anything serious and since we were friends I couldn't see us just having a fling, which is all I wanted. She might think that since she likes you as a person, any relationship with you would get serious and she isn't ready for that. If you make her think that she owes you something (even if you are kidding) then that would be enough for her to run the other way. She probably thinks it would be too awkward to say "thank you" to you at the moment. Or she thinks if she does say "thank you" it means she likes you more than she does and you will expect more from the friendship.

Lucy · 08-29-2006, 03:23 PM

She was engaged after knowing the guy for a month??

RUN! Run like the wind!

maninthebox · 08-29-2006, 06:42 PM

It may have come across I was desperate, I didn't mean it that way. lol I did tell her in the letter that I know she needed some time and I will respect that. I did apoligize to her today. I did tell her I was kidding about her owing me a hug, and just knowing I made her laugh and put a smile on her face during the whole event was enough for me. I didn't mean to come across as a jerk or anything, I guess I'm just not good at this whole realationship thing.

I guess I'll see what happens. Right now I'm just going to lay low and take one day at a time. Thanks everyone for your help in this!

Hoof Hearted · 08-29-2006, 07:30 PM

I was kidding when I made my comment, I'm sorry I didn't make that clear. I hope I didn't hurt your feelings.

FWIW, I think you're on the right track, now. Slow and easy...
Heidi

maninthebox · 08-29-2006, 08:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hoof Hearted

I was kidding when I made my comment, I'm sorry I didn't make that clear. I hope I didn't hurt your feelings.

FWIW, I think you're on the right track, now. Slow and easy...
Heidi

Oh gosh no you didn't hurt my feelers!

I really do appreciate everyone's input. I wish I could buy you all a round of beer!

haha I'll let you guys know what happens. Yeah, she was engadged about a month after they met. That's what happens when you're young and stupid! I'm young too, but not that dumb! But, thanks again for all the input! Oh, I really never said what my name was officially yet - it's Patrick.

The 42 · 08-31-2006, 02:18 PM

My two cents here: rkzenrage was only half right when he said that brushing her off is a good move. It's true that at this point if you try and get closer to her actively she will only push you away, but at some point she may (not will, might) come around. At that point, don't brush her off, because us gals tend to overinterpert things- we try to squeeze meaning out of every little gesture and facial expression- there's no way of knowing what conclusions she could draw.

Deep down almost every woman in the world is a hopeless romantic- we love being spoiled and having sweet nothings whispered in our ears when no one else is looking, and red roses will melt our heart every time around. Just wait until you've been dating for a while before you start- otherwise you will come accross as overeager.

And if she doesn't come around? Then she's just not good enough for you! You seem like a great guy, the way you supported her through her crisis, and there are plenty of girls out there who would love to date a guy like you.

Flint · 08-31-2006, 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maninthebox

She seems to be kinda advoiding me now after what I did for her, and after I wrote that letter. I also heard from one of my friends that works with us that she would love to have his brother come over for a night!?!?

Probably been said before, but you might take this a s a good sign, that she doesn't want to immediately get involved with you, because, as nice a guy as you are, she doesn't want to waste you on the rebound fling...

maninthebox · 08-31-2006, 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The 42

And if she doesn't come around? Then she's just not good enough for you! You seem like a great guy, the way you supported her through her crisis, and there are plenty of girls out there who would love to date a guy like you.

If I could only find a girl around here that likes nice guys! lol As of now though, I'm being totally nice and understanding toward her. I'm not ignoring her, but not going out of my way. She knows I like her and always have. She's been nothing but a sweetheart to me as of late now. But, I'm patient. If she dosen't come around, it's fine. Like I said earlier, knowing I was there for her makes me happy!

08-29-2006, 03:13 PM	#23
Iggy Back and ready to tart up the place Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Kansas Posts: 850	I can't really say what she is thinking as I don't know her. But I know when I was in high school and had just broken up with a serious (relatively) boyfriend it was very uncomfortable when a guy friend wrote me a letter saying he liked me. I didn't want anything serious and since we were friends I couldn't see us just having a fling, which is all I wanted. She might think that since she likes you as a person, any relationship with you would get serious and she isn't ready for that. If you make her think that she owes you something (even if you are kidding) then that would be enough for her to run the other way. She probably thinks it would be too awkward to say "thank you" to you at the moment. Or she thinks if she does say "thank you" it means she likes you more than she does and you will expect more from the friendship. __________________ Chock-full of naughty goodness.

08-29-2006, 07:30 PM	#26
Hoof Hearted ...you smell something? Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Monroe, GA Posts: 420	I was kidding when I made my comment, I'm sorry I didn't make that clear. I hope I didn't hurt your feelings. FWIW, I think you're on the right track, now. Slow and easy... Heidi __________________ I have the ability of single-minded determination and focu...Hey, look! A horse!

08-28-2006, 08:54 AM	#17
yesman065 Banned - Self Imposed Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,847	Let her go and feel her way through this thing - be nice, but NOT too nice! She knows you are there if she needs you - don't keep asking or offering - just let her be. She's got a lot of shit to work out in her mind and then MAYBE, just maybe, she might want something more. Then again, maybe not. The balls in her court now not yours. I just wouldn't push anything or go out of your way to say Hi or stop by to chat - she'll probably think you are being too pushy or stalking her.

08-28-2006, 03:53 PM	#19
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	Unfortunately, the guys that get the chicks are the ones that ignore them. Ladies will tell you I am wrong... I'm not. She knows you like her, now blow her off. I hate games, but you bungled it, you got into her space without her permission. So you have to recover. Just back off and wait to see if she does anything... if she does not, chalk it up to experience. My .02

08-28-2006, 07:35 PM	#20
maninthebox eats paste Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Ohio Posts: 52	Thanks everyone for the advice. I was actually kinda kidding around with the hug thing from her. Just knowing that I can make her smile and laugh through the rough time is good enough for me anyway. Maybe I should tell her that? I know she appreciated it though. Yeah, the ball is in her court now. We'll see what happens over time. You guys probably thought I was out of my mind! haha

08-29-2006, 03:23 PM	#24
Lucy Colloquialist Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Georgia Posts: 75	She was engaged after knowing the guy for a month?? RUN! Run like the wind!

08-29-2006, 06:42 PM	#25
maninthebox eats paste Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Ohio Posts: 52	It may have come across I was desperate, I didn't mean it that way. lol I did tell her in the letter that I know she needed some time and I will respect that. I did apoligize to her today. I did tell her I was kidding about her owing me a hug, and just knowing I made her laugh and put a smile on her face during the whole event was enough for me. I didn't mean to come across as a jerk or anything, I guess I'm just not good at this whole realationship thing. I guess I'll see what happens. Right now I'm just going to lay low and take one day at a time. Thanks everyone for your help in this!

08-31-2006, 02:18 PM	#28
The 42 I'm not lurking, I'm stalking YOU! Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Somwhere over the rainbow Posts: 70	My two cents here: rkzenrage was only half right when he said that brushing her off is a good move. It's true that at this point if you try and get closer to her actively she will only push you away, but at some point she may (not will, might) come around. At that point, don't brush her off, because us gals tend to overinterpert things- we try to squeeze meaning out of every little gesture and facial expression- there's no way of knowing what conclusions she could draw. Deep down almost every woman in the world is a hopeless romantic- we love being spoiled and having sweet nothings whispered in our ears when no one else is looking, and red roses will melt our heart every time around. Just wait until you've been dating for a while before you start- otherwise you will come accross as overeager. And if she doesn't come around? Then she's just not good enough for you! You seem like a great guy, the way you supported her through her crisis, and there are plenty of girls out there who would love to date a guy like you.

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