Something Missing?

Nirvana · 08-02-2011, 12:32 PM

Does everyone at one time in their life search out classmates after 20-30-40 years? It must be profitable several websites charge for info. I loved elementary school, I hated high school, college was fine but no interaction with people really, and I was a loner. Do any of you do this and why? Why am I doing this?

glatt · 08-02-2011, 01:07 PM

I did it at first with facebook. After reconnecting with a bunch of different people, I realized we didn't have any shared experiences any more, and there was no reason to stay in touch. Nostalgia isn't enough of a connection.

Spexxvet · 08-02-2011, 01:23 PM

My favorite exchange from The Big Chill

Quote:

Sam Weber: Hey, Nick? You know, we go back a long way, and I'm not gonna piss that away 'cause you're higher than a kite.

Nick: Wrong, a long time ago we knew each other for a short period of time; you don't know anything about me. It was easy back then. No one had a cushier berth than we did. It's not surprising our friendship could survive that. It's only out there in the real world that it gets tough.

classicman · 08-02-2011, 02:36 PM

I did the same as glatt. Then we created a facebook group for our class as we are having a reunion soon. That seems like a better plan to me.

I must admit though, that a couple years ago after a traumatic event in my life that a few old friends from HS showed up at some fundraisers and we've reconnected.
We hang out on a regular basis and talk frequently.

wolf · 08-02-2011, 04:06 PM

I have realized that there are not that many people that I would want to connect with. Especially not after they've spent (mumblemumble) years screwing up their lives.

Nirvana · 08-02-2011, 04:38 PM

Doesn't everyone secretly want to have a better life than those that may not have treated them so nicely back then? Don't they want that haughty high school cheerleader to be a fat cow? Don't they want that jock to be bald and fat?

Aliantha · 08-02-2011, 06:49 PM

We had our 20th HS reunion a couple of years ago, and fb was a big part of the process for finding people. I've been in regular contact with the group of girls I hung out with in HS ever since, and I chat with some of the fellas from time to time although it's mainly the girls. In fact, we're having a get together in a couple of weeks for one of the girls who now lives in Nigeria but is coming back for a visit. We usually try to catch up every few months now and keep up with each others lives. It's actually really nice because most of these girls have seen me at my worst, as I have them, so we know what we're getting, and really, no one has changed that much from HS. They're still the same people with different bits filling in their lives. It's nice.

I'm having a catch up with a girl from HS on the 15th who I was not that close to at HS, but we've been keeping in touch via FB since the reunion. I'm looking forward to it. She was always nice at school, but just not in the group I hung around with mostly.

I say go for it. Nothing ventured nothing gained. You might just re-establish old friendships and find they still have great value in your life. If not, you can laugh at the fat cheerleaders instead.

SatelliteHead · 08-02-2011, 07:34 PM

Nostalgia ain't quite like it used to be.

Trilby · 08-02-2011, 07:46 PM

I hung out with a good number of people in HS but they didn't really know ME as I didn't really know me.

So - now they really, really don't know 'me'

I was achingly self-conscious, very shy, with crippling depression that I self-treated with smokes, drinks, drugs and a thick layer of black eyeliner.

From what I have managed to gather from the cheerleader/jock crowd is that they turned out exactly as I knew they would: wealthy, educated, great jobs, great homes, great spouses, super kids, and a summer home in the Hamptons. No surprises anywhere, really.

Pico and ME · 08-02-2011, 08:23 PM

I've had a couple of chances to meet up with high school peers and just didn't. I made it to my 10 year reunion, but skipped the 20th and 25th. The attempts I made at trying to connect on facebook didn't succeed. I haven't really analyzed it much. And now since I'm practically 50 there doesn't seem much point in it. I may still try to make it to my 30th reunion. We'll see. I'm not all that excited about sharing life that never happened for me.

skysidhe · 08-02-2011, 10:58 PM

I enjoyed high school and elementary the best. I was a straight A student in middle school. Oddly, I don't remember much of it, except for running from class to class.

The people from elementary I still know and run into once in a while.

Nirvana · 08-03-2011, 11:20 AM

I have been in email contact with someone who was my friend when I was 7-9 years old. We had a joint diary that we would write in every day, she on one page I on the other. She told me she kept that all these years. She is sending me a copy. I remember the diary but have no clue what I wrote in it.

I have never been to any of my HS reunions.

glatt · 08-03-2011, 11:26 AM

That's awesome! That will be fun to read.

Spexxvet · 08-03-2011, 02:39 PM

4 of my current close friends are freinds from high school.

classicman · 08-03-2011, 04:05 PM

Good point spexx. My closest friends are those I've had since HS. We've been that way since grade school. We still get together at least 2x a year to play poker.

08-02-2011, 12:32 PM	#1
Nirvana Back in 10 Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 3,684	Something Missing? Does everyone at one time in their life search out classmates after 20-30-40 years? It must be profitable several websites charge for info. I loved elementary school, I hated high school, college was fine but no interaction with people really, and I was a loner. Do any of you do this and why? Why am I doing this? __________________ Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind.

08-02-2011, 02:36 PM	#4
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	I did the same as glatt. Then we created a facebook group for our class as we are having a reunion soon. That seems like a better plan to me. I must admit though, that a couple years ago after a traumatic event in my life that a few old friends from HS showed up at some fundraisers and we've reconnected. We hang out on a regular basis and talk frequently. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

08-02-2011, 04:06 PM	#5
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	I have realized that there are not that many people that I would want to connect with. Especially not after they've spent (mumblemumble) years screwing up their lives. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

08-02-2011, 04:38 PM	#6
Nirvana Back in 10 Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 3,684	Doesn't everyone secretly want to have a better life than those that may not have treated them so nicely back then? Don't they want that haughty high school cheerleader to be a fat cow? Don't they want that jock to be bald and fat? __________________ Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind.

08-02-2011, 06:49 PM	#7
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	We had our 20th HS reunion a couple of years ago, and fb was a big part of the process for finding people. I've been in regular contact with the group of girls I hung out with in HS ever since, and I chat with some of the fellas from time to time although it's mainly the girls. In fact, we're having a get together in a couple of weeks for one of the girls who now lives in Nigeria but is coming back for a visit. We usually try to catch up every few months now and keep up with each others lives. It's actually really nice because most of these girls have seen me at my worst, as I have them, so we know what we're getting, and really, no one has changed that much from HS. They're still the same people with different bits filling in their lives. It's nice. I'm having a catch up with a girl from HS on the 15th who I was not that close to at HS, but we've been keeping in touch via FB since the reunion. I'm looking forward to it. She was always nice at school, but just not in the group I hung around with mostly. I say go for it. Nothing ventured nothing gained. You might just re-establish old friendships and find they still have great value in your life. If not, you can laugh at the fat cheerleaders instead. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

08-02-2011, 01:07 PM	#2
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	I did it at first with facebook. After reconnecting with a bunch of different people, I realized we didn't have any shared experiences any more, and there was no reason to stay in touch. Nostalgia isn't enough of a connection.

08-02-2011, 07:34 PM	#8
SatelliteHead The Great Satellite in the Sky Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Greenville County Posts: 19	Nostalgia ain't quite like it used to be. __________________ Daily Grind

08-02-2011, 07:46 PM	#9
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	I hung out with a good number of people in HS but they didn't really know ME as I didn't really know me. So - now they really, really don't know 'me' I was achingly self-conscious, very shy, with crippling depression that I self-treated with smokes, drinks, drugs and a thick layer of black eyeliner. From what I have managed to gather from the cheerleader/jock crowd is that they turned out exactly as I knew they would: wealthy, educated, great jobs, great homes, great spouses, super kids, and a summer home in the Hamptons. No surprises anywhere, really. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

08-02-2011, 08:23 PM	#10
Pico and ME Are you knock-kneed? Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Middle Hoosierland Posts: 3,549	I've had a couple of chances to meet up with high school peers and just didn't. I made it to my 10 year reunion, but skipped the 20th and 25th. The attempts I made at trying to connect on facebook didn't succeed. I haven't really analyzed it much. And now since I'm practically 50 there doesn't seem much point in it. I may still try to make it to my 30th reunion. We'll see. I'm not all that excited about sharing life that never happened for me.

08-02-2011, 10:58 PM	#11
skysidhe ~~Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.~~ Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 6,828	I enjoyed high school and elementary the best. I was a straight A student in middle school. Oddly, I don't remember much of it, except for running from class to class. The people from elementary I still know and run into once in a while.

08-03-2011, 11:20 AM	#12
Nirvana Back in 10 Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 3,684	I have been in email contact with someone who was my friend when I was 7-9 years old. We had a joint diary that we would write in every day, she on one page I on the other. She told me she kept that all these years. She is sending me a copy. I remember the diary but have no clue what I wrote in it. I have never been to any of my HS reunions. __________________ Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind.

08-03-2011, 11:26 AM	#13
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	That's awesome! That will be fun to read.

08-03-2011, 02:39 PM	#14
Spexxvet Makes some feel uncomfortable Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 10,346	4 of my current close friends are freinds from high school. __________________ "I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce

08-03-2011, 04:05 PM	#15
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Good point spexx. My closest friends are those I've had since HS. We've been that way since grade school. We still get together at least 2x a year to play poker. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

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