Divorce: perparing for the war

[ZenGum]

[not a parent, never divorced, don't know canadian law, don't have complete information, but...]

If it were not for the child there would be no reason for the two adults not to walk away and never contact each other again.

Although you and the child formed an emotional bond, and the separation is distressing for you and presumably for him, over time this will heal. Getting to visit him/host him for one weekend a month or one month a year or whatever will just keep ripping that scab off until it hurts, reforming and rebreaking that bond.

It will not be good for him, and it wil not be good for you.

Let it go.

Just my view, yours may differ.

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[it]

can the court even grant me parmement residence of something along the immigration process so that i could use any visitation rights?

[it]

also, i found this:
"The amount of spousal support is 1.5-2% of the difference between the spouses’ gross incomes for each year of marriage and duration is 0.5 to one year of support for each year of marriage, with duration becoming indefinite after 20 years."
- the canadian divorce act

i am not sure if this means the income we had or the income we have, but considering that in the first case i was a stay at home dad, and in the second case all i have right now is that i might be getting a few articles published and am applying to jobs at an israeli minimum wage which is about a 3rd of canadian minimum wage...

the only thing she has any chance of getting is into legal debts of 30 to 50 thousand canadian dollars, which she doesn't have and the only way her family could help her with is by selling there damn house or getting a second mortgage...

what the hell is she thinking by pressing a lawsuit?

[Aliantha]

She would have to pay you wouldn't she? Except you might find that rule is invalid if you don't live in the country still.

[it]

pretty much, and i really don't want her money. i didn't like it that it had to be the case in order to stay with her and the child when i was there, i definetly don't want it now.

and even if she does somehow win by means of legal mojo, we're talking about an insiginificent amount on a monthly basis for no more then two years, it will never pay for any significant portion of her own legal fee's, which will add to her huge OSAP debt (canadian version of student loan) that is also about 40 thousands dollars... she will be in debt for the next few decades.

and why? out of spite. i really think she's out of her mind for going this route.

[Clodfobble]

What exactly has her lawsuit specified? Is she asking for spousal support in the documents? Or is she just filing the divorce papers, and you've worked yourself up for a "war" that isn't going to happen? Yes, she's said nasty things to you, but what do the actual divorce documents say?

[it]

so far she hasn't sent anything, just said that she will.

[Clodfobble]

Pfft. Fuck that then. She's all talk. Don't worry your pretty little head about any of it. Go through your grieving process over losing contact with the kid, make yourself go on a few dates, and slowly learn to be grateful that you're free from Teh Crazy (TM.) Someday, you'll see it as a blessing.

[it]

but if she does and i am unprepaired isn't it going to screw me big time?

[classicman]

Fuggit. You aren't a Canadian anyway. This has got to be the biggest clusterf*ck of a lawsuit...
What does she really think she can get from an unemployed, non-resident who isn't the biological father of her child?

[glatt]

I wouldn't worry about this until you get papers. There's really not much you can do in advance, and it seems unlikely that anybody would come after you since there is no money in it for them.

[Clodfobble]

Originally Posted by traceur

but if she does and i am unprepaired isn't it going to screw me big time?

No offense, but you kind of seem to have nothing to be screwed out of.

[ZenGum]

You'll have plenty of time to deal with whateer shit she throws when it arrives, which it quite possibly never will.

Until then, fuck it. Take your uzi down the practice range and blow some shit away, that'll make you feel better.

[it]

another aspect is where the trial takes place.

if she sues and i counter sue, I'll be subpeona to canada and it will go under canadian law.
if i sue and she counter sues, she'll be subpeona here and it will go under Israeli law.

if both law systems favor me, i would rather go with the israeli one, both financially (cheaper legal fee's, no flight or visits costs), and because honestly I crossed the atlantic for this women one time too many.

anyway I gave her a generous time frame to tell me if she's not sueing, i saw the messages being read (the little circular arrows on skype disapearing), and the time frame is over.

[Clodfobble]

If you were married under Canadian law, surely you have to be divorced under Canadian law.

Or hey, just move to Greenland, they have no extradition treaty with Canada.