I need to whine

[anonymous]

I'm sure my ID is obvious, but please allow me to stay anon to protect my offspring. And me, maybe...

In addition to losing my job (and health insurance for me and my 3 college kids) this month, I learned today my 18yo son is being dumped by his (very expensive out-of-network so completely out of pocket 1/4 of my income) DBT therapy center for being distracted, disruptive and uninvested in his therapy (which hasn't made a blind bit of difference). There is nowhere else to go. His last place/psych couldn't help and recommended DBT. the two other possibilities for this are also out-of-network and have major waiting lists (we waited about 4 months for this one) His diagnosis is ADHD, spectrum and depression. He's aggressive, frequently fails to take his medication, lies blatantly, is hooked online..... I am not perfect but I don't need or deserve this and I really can't take any more. he's barely scraping through college (no surprise, wouldn't be doing that well if not for my reluctant occasional intervention), He was fired from his p/t lifeguard job within weeks....

MAKE IT STOP. I surrender. I failed, I give up. Whatever it is I need to do/say, I just want it to stop. I swear I'm not a bad person, I don't deserve it. Even if I were a bad person, I'm sure I must have already endured enough punishment the last couple of years.

Ok done whining, thank you. Ignore me, carry on....