What is a pagan

[Scazrelet]

I have always prefered spirituality and faith, personal decisions, over "religion" spirituality tends to give knowledge of self, religion you often just do what people tell you :\ No offense meant to anyone, there are always exceptions.

I used to be something that could be thrown into the general area of pagan, but I didn't practice any rituals much, though I did have an area (not really an altar) that I kept my accoutrements in that perhaps carried more "energy" than anywhere else. From my understanding, to put it in a very base, crude way, if You Are Everything, entwined and inseparable, then you should, in theory, have some control over your enviroment. That is, if you were able to actually believe you did, get over the hurdle of self doubt. Thats where ritual comes in, to make you actually believe and put faith and personal energy into what you are doing and desiring, if you as a person found that sort of thing helpful as an individual. Its all a bit of mind over matter. Your personal will, and I guess the "will" of the universe? Anyway, I had a giant breakdown of faith not too long ago so now I have no idea what in hell (or anywhere else) I believe, or is real etc etc