Wild Bee Swarm

Scopulus Argentarius · 05-02-2005, 07:53 PM

A bunch of bees crashing for the night on a neightbor's tree; they will hopefully leave to find a nice hollow place to form a hive...

zippyt · 05-02-2005, 08:17 PM

I double dog dare ya to

:

busterb · 05-02-2005, 09:02 PM

I saw a guy once next door trying to get bees at night from a tree. He had a tub and made some smoke. I watched this crap from my kitchen window. Next morning the bees were still in tree. What a dance he was doing as they stung him. HAHAHAH

Beestie · 05-02-2005, 09:24 PM

Give me a heart attack why dont'cha? I have a phobia about bees - its the only one I've got but what I lack in quantity I make up for in intensity.

Once, when I was little, my dad got up on the step ladder to remove an old birdhouse from our oak tree that my brother had built and mounted years prior as a boy scout project. We hadn't seen any birds use it in a long time so my can't-leave-well-enough-alone dad wanted to get rid of it. So, I'm "holding the ladder" and my dad scales up and swings his big hammer at the side of the birdhouse to dislodge it from the tree: WHACK!

Well, a black cloud with yellow trim poured out of that birdhouse like a volcano plume of scalding hot fury - about a zillion massive giant bumblebees. And they were PISSED! Dad fell off the ladder and, being little as well as terrified, I ran. And ran. And ran. Still running, I turn around and about six of 'em are hot on my trail. I ran next to a lamppost, hooked it with my arm, did a 180° but the bees kept going straight.

They messed up my dad pretty good. And the hammer fell on his head after he fell off the ladder. All in all, not a good day.

Another time, also as a little kid in rural Georgia, I stepped on a yellow jacket nest. Yellow jackets are actually wasps. And wasps are mean little bastards. They live in below-ground nests and you'd never notice them. Until you step on one. Then, they swarm up your pants legs and start stinging the living shit out of you. So now, you have two pant legs full of angry, vengeful, venom-dripping bees who just can't sting you fast enough or hard enough. Meanwhile, another posse is taking aim at my neck as I limp away like I just had one of those ambiguous diarrhea farts. And and they don't just land softly and poke around for a tender spot. They actually slam into you with stinger already extended - tucked under their thorax - aiming straight ahead. As I lumbered towards the safety of the screened-in porch, one Tobasco-dipped dart after another are being fired out of a slingshot into my flesh. Forget about outrunning them, anyway - they move through the air with astonishing speed. I swelled up like a balloon and was throwing up half the night.

No wonder I hate bees. Brrrrrrrrrr! [shudder!] [uninteligible shiver mumble]

richlevy · 05-02-2005, 09:55 PM

I got stung in the neck by a brown wasp at work 2 months ago, and it was still winter. I felt something on my neck, but I wasn't thinking insects because it was still cold out.

xoxoxoBruce · 05-02-2005, 10:23 PM

Just grab the Queen and hold a gun to her head, then tell the others to back off. Don't let her go till they give up the honey.

Christ, I hope one of those Homeland Security computers doesn't read that.

wolf · 05-03-2005, 12:23 AM

Scopulus, check your local phone book for beekeepers ... one of them might be very happy to take that swarm off your friend's hands.

Clodfobble · 05-03-2005, 08:52 AM

Heck, maybe one of them has been posted "Missing" posters all night long.

footfootfoot · 05-03-2005, 12:19 PM

Fight the power
Fight the power
Fight the power
Fight the power
Fight the power
Fight the power
Fight the power
We've got to Fight the powerful bee!

mrnoodle · 05-03-2005, 01:07 PM

My favorite reading moment of the day, and perhaps the month, was when a bee story, without warning, delivered the words "ambiguous diarrhea farts."

Trilby · 05-03-2005, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrnoodle

My favorite reading moment of the day, and perhaps the month, was when a bee story, without warning, delivered the words "ambiguous diarrhea farts."

Agreed. That was highly entertaining, educational and just plain vivid. I felt like I was stung myself! Great job

BigV · 05-03-2005, 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna

Agreed. That was highly entertaining, educational and just plain vivid. I felt like I was stung myself! Great job

Actually they don't sting...they're more of a squishy butt-clap.

sorry, tmi.

Elspode · 05-04-2005, 12:22 PM

I have an old friend who refers to these unfortunate events as a "failure to properly identify the physical state of matter...liquid, gas or a solid".

xoxoxoBruce · 05-04-2005, 06:15 PM

Man, this thread has gone to shit.

Well, like they say...shit happens. It's the where and when...and with whom that governs the embarrassment factor.

05-02-2005, 07:53 PM	#1
Scopulus Argentarius Your current user title is: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: BTR Posts: 301	Wild Bee Swarm A bunch of bees crashing for the night on a neightbor's tree; they will hopefully leave to find a nice hollow place to form a hive... Attached Images Last edited by Scopulus Argentarius; 05-02-2005 at 07:55 PM.

05-02-2005, 08:17 PM	#2
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	I double dog dare ya to : __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

05-02-2005, 09:02 PM	#3
busterb NSABFD Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: MS. usa Posts: 3,908	I saw a guy once next door trying to get bees at night from a tree. He had a tub and made some smoke. I watched this crap from my kitchen window. Next morning the bees were still in tree. What a dance he was doing as they stung him. HAHAHAH __________________ I've haven't left very deep footprints in the sands of time. But, boy I've left a bunch.

05-02-2005, 09:24 PM	#4
Beestie -◊\|≡·∙■·∙≡\|◊- Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Parts unknown. Posts: 4,081	Give me a heart attack why dont'cha? I have a phobia about bees - its the only one I've got but what I lack in quantity I make up for in intensity. Once, when I was little, my dad got up on the step ladder to remove an old birdhouse from our oak tree that my brother had built and mounted years prior as a boy scout project. We hadn't seen any birds use it in a long time so my can't-leave-well-enough-alone dad wanted to get rid of it. So, I'm "holding the ladder" and my dad scales up and swings his big hammer at the side of the birdhouse to dislodge it from the tree: WHACK! Well, a black cloud with yellow trim poured out of that birdhouse like a volcano plume of scalding hot fury - about a zillion massive giant bumblebees. And they were PISSED! Dad fell off the ladder and, being little as well as terrified, I ran. And ran. And ran. Still running, I turn around and about six of 'em are hot on my trail. I ran next to a lamppost, hooked it with my arm, did a 180° but the bees kept going straight. They messed up my dad pretty good. And the hammer fell on his head after he fell off the ladder. All in all, not a good day. Another time, also as a little kid in rural Georgia, I stepped on a yellow jacket nest. Yellow jackets are actually wasps. And wasps are mean little bastards. They live in below-ground nests and you'd never notice them. Until you step on one. Then, they swarm up your pants legs and start stinging the living shit out of you. So now, you have two pant legs full of angry, vengeful, venom-dripping bees who just can't sting you fast enough or hard enough. Meanwhile, another posse is taking aim at my neck as I limp away like I just had one of those ambiguous diarrhea farts. And and they don't just land softly and poke around for a tender spot. They actually slam into you with stinger already extended - tucked under their thorax - aiming straight ahead. As I lumbered towards the safety of the screened-in porch, one Tobasco-dipped dart after another are being fired out of a slingshot into my flesh. Forget about outrunning them, anyway - they move through the air with astonishing speed. I swelled up like a balloon and was throwing up half the night. No wonder I hate bees. Brrrrrrrrrr! [shudder!] [uninteligible shiver mumble] __________________ ♠ ♥ ♣ ♦ Last edited by Beestie; 05-02-2005 at 09:29 PM.

05-02-2005, 09:55 PM	#5
richlevy King Of Wishful Thinking Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Philadelphia Suburbs Posts: 6,669	I got stung in the neck by a brown wasp at work 2 months ago, and it was still winter. I felt something on my neck, but I wasn't thinking insects because it was still cold out. __________________ Exercise your rights and remember your obligations - VOTE! I have always believed that hope is that stubborn thing inside us that insists, despite all the evidence to the contrary, that something better awaits us so long as we have the courage to keep reaching, to keep working, to keep fighting. -- Barack Hussein Obama

05-02-2005, 10:23 PM	#6
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Just grab the Queen and hold a gun to her head, then tell the others to back off. Don't let her go till they give up the honey. Christ, I hope one of those Homeland Security computers doesn't read that. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

05-03-2005, 12:23 AM	#7
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Scopulus, check your local phone book for beekeepers ... one of them might be very happy to take that swarm off your friend's hands. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

05-03-2005, 08:52 AM	#8
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Heck, maybe one of them has been posted "Missing" posters all night long.

05-03-2005, 12:19 PM	#9
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Fight the power Fight the power Fight the power Fight the power Fight the power Fight the power Fight the power We've got to Fight the powerful bee! __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

05-03-2005, 01:07 PM	#10
mrnoodle bent Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: under the weather Posts: 2,656	My favorite reading moment of the day, and perhaps the month, was when a bee story, without warning, delivered the words "ambiguous diarrhea farts." __________________ Sìn a nall na cuaranan sin. -- Cha mhór is fheairrde thu iad, tha iad coltach ri cat air a dhathadh

05-04-2005, 12:22 PM	#13
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	I have an old friend who refers to these unfortunate events as a "failure to properly identify the physical state of matter...liquid, gas or a solid". __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

05-04-2005, 06:15 PM	#14
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Man, this thread has gone to shit. Well, like they say...shit happens. It's the where and when...and with whom that governs the embarrassment factor. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

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