Humor...I Need Humor... - Page 240

Undertoad · 08-20-2010, 07:31 PM

Excellent Craigslist post: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/cto/1881050881.html

Nirvana · 08-20-2010, 08:12 PM

monster · 08-20-2010, 09:56 PM

excellent ut

xoxoxoBruce · 08-20-2010, 11:52 PM

.

ZenGum · 08-21-2010, 03:05 AM

That's nothing. On failbook today there are two post series, one grappling with the question of where the other half of the moon goes during a half-moon, and the other struggling to cope with the concept of a spherical Earth.

squirell nutkin · 08-21-2010, 09:30 AM

Ha! Zen, Go ahead and laugh. Any moment you and your Australian friends will be falling off the earth because you are upside down!!111!

jinx · 08-21-2010, 09:52 AM

How can plain land on a treadmill if its upside down? Please exsplain.

Shawnee123 · 08-21-2010, 10:18 AM

Wow, I knew you Aussies were backwards but I had no idea you were also upside down.

ZenGum · 08-21-2010, 06:22 PM

Jinx, well OBVIOUSLY, we put the treadmill upside down too. Then the plane can land on (or should that be under) the underneath side of it. Clear?

It is worth noting that the round earth debaters often wrote "aeroplane", which is British-style English, so these twits are probably not from the US. "Plain" and "gravaty" can be attributed to general stupidity, but we knew that already.

Gravdigr · 08-22-2010, 12:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rhianne

Two flies were sitting on (I'm sorry about this) some dog shit. Suddenly one of them farts and the other looks at him disgusted, "Do you mind", he says, "I'm trying to eat my dinner here".

I saw a t-shirt...on it was two piles of shit...a fly was on one pile of shit...a fly was hovering over the other pile of shit...The hovering fly says to the first fly, "Pardon me, is this stool taken?"

Gravdigr · 08-23-2010, 02:08 AM

Computer:Monitor, display this document, ok?

Monitor: No prob, boss.

Computer: OK, now it looks like Mouse is moving around so, Monitor, will you move the pointer icon accordingly?

Monitor: Anything you ask, boss.

Computer: Great, great. OK, Mouse, where are you going now?

Mouse: Over to the icon panel, sir.

Computer: Hmm, Let me know if he clicks anything, OK?

Mouse: Of course.

Keyboard: Sir, he's pressed control and P simultaneously.

Monitor: Oh God, here we go.

Computer: *sighs* Printer, are you there?

Printer: No.

Computer: Please, Printer. I know you're there.

Printer: NO! I'm not here! Leave me alone!

Computer: Jesus. OK look, you really ne...

Mouse: Sir, he's clicked on the printer icon.

Computer: Printer, now you have to print it twice.

Printer: NO! NO! NO! I don't want to! I hate you! I hate printing! I'm turning off!

Computer: Printer, you know you can't turn yourself off. Just print the document twice and we'll leave you alone.

Printer: NO! That's what you always say! I hate you! I'm out of ink!

Computer: You're not out of in...

Printer: I'M OUT OF INK!

Computer: *Sighs* Monitor, please show a low ink level alert.

Monitor: But sir, he has plen...

Computer: Just do it, damn it!

Monitor: Yes sir.

Keyboard: AHHH! He's hitting me!

Computer: Stay calm, he'll stop soon. Stay calm, old friend.

Keyboard: He's pressing everything. Oh god, I don't know, he's just pressing everything!

Computer: PRINTER! Are you happy now?! Do you see what you've done?!

Printer: HA! that's what you get for trying to get me to do work. Next time he...hey...HEY! He's trying to open me! HELP! HELP! Oh my god! He's torn out my cartridge! HELP! Please! ERROR!

Monitor: Sir, maybe we should help him?

Computer: No. He did this to himself.

Gravdigr · 08-23-2010, 03:24 AM

.

Lamplighter · 08-23-2010, 10:07 AM

Cast of characters:

Computer: xoxoxoBruce
Monitor: UnderToad
Mouse: Wolf
Keyboard: LumberJim
Printer: ? ? ?

(No evil intended)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gravdigr

Computer:Monitor, display this document, ok?

Monitor: No prob, boss.

Computer: OK, now it looks like Mouse is moving around so, Monitor, will you move the pointer icon accordingly?

Monitor: Anything you ask, boss.

Computer: Great, great. OK, Mouse, where are you going now?

Mouse: Over to the icon panel, sir.

Computer: Hmm, Let me know if he clicks anything, OK?

Mouse: Of course.

Keyboard: Sir, he's pressed control and P simultaneously.

Monitor: Oh God, here we go.

Computer: *sighs* Printer, are you there?

Printer: No.

Computer: Please, Printer. I know you're there.

Printer: NO! I'm not here! Leave me alone!

Computer: Jesus. OK look, you really ne...

Mouse: Sir, he's clicked on the printer icon.

Computer: Printer, now you have to print it twice.

Printer: NO! NO! NO! I don't want to! I hate you! I hate printing! I'm turning off!

Computer: Printer, you know you can't turn yourself off. Just print the document twice and we'll leave you alone.

Printer: NO! That's what you always say! I hate you! I'm out of ink!

Computer: You're not out of in...

Printer: I'M OUT OF INK!

Computer: *Sighs* Monitor, please show a low ink level alert.

Monitor: But sir, he has plen...

Computer: Just do it, damn it!

Monitor: Yes sir.

Keyboard: AHHH! He's hitting me!

Computer: Stay calm, he'll stop soon. Stay calm, old friend.

Keyboard: He's pressing everything. Oh god, I don't know, he's just pressing everything!

Computer: PRINTER! Are you happy now?! Do you see what you've done?!

Printer: HA! that's what you get for trying to get me to do work. Next time he...hey...HEY! He's trying to open me! HELP! HELP! Oh my god! He's torn out my cartridge! HELP! Please! ERROR!

Monitor: Sir, maybe we should help him?

Computer: No. He did this to himself.

classicman · 08-23-2010, 10:51 AM

I'll be the person banging on the keyboard .... wouldn't be the first time.

squirell nutkin · 08-23-2010, 11:17 AM

08-20-2010, 08:12 PM	#3587
Nirvana Back in 10 Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 3,684	__________________ Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind.

08-20-2010, 09:56 PM	#3588
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	excellent ut __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

08-20-2010, 11:52 PM	#3589
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	. Attached Images __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

08-21-2010, 03:05 AM	#3590
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	That's nothing. On failbook today there are two post series, one grappling with the question of where the other half of the moon goes during a half-moon, and the other struggling to cope with the concept of a spherical Earth. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

08-21-2010, 09:30 AM	#3591
squirell nutkin has a second hand user title Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: in a Nut House Posts: 2,017	Ha! Zen, Go ahead and laugh. Any moment you and your Australian friends will be falling off the earth because you are upside down!!111! __________________ And now I'm finished posting.

08-20-2010, 07:31 PM	#3586
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Excellent Craigslist post: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/cto/1881050881.html

08-21-2010, 09:52 AM	#3592
jinx Come on, cat. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: general vicinity of Philadelphia area Posts: 7,013	How can plain land on a treadmill if its upside down? Please exsplain. __________________ Crying won't help you, praying won't do you no good.

08-21-2010, 10:18 AM	#3593
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Wow, I knew you Aussies were backwards but I had no idea you were also upside down. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

08-21-2010, 06:22 PM	#3594
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	Jinx, well OBVIOUSLY, we put the treadmill upside down too. Then the plane can land on (or should that be under) the underneath side of it. Clear? It is worth noting that the round earth debaters often wrote "aeroplane", which is British-style English, so these twits are probably not from the US. "Plain" and "gravaty" can be attributed to general stupidity, but we knew that already. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

08-23-2010, 02:08 AM	#3596
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Computer:Monitor, display this document, ok? Monitor: No prob, boss. Computer: OK, now it looks like Mouse is moving around so, Monitor, will you move the pointer icon accordingly? Monitor: Anything you ask, boss. Computer: Great, great. OK, Mouse, where are you going now? Mouse: Over to the icon panel, sir. Computer: Hmm, Let me know if he clicks anything, OK? Mouse: Of course. Keyboard: Sir, he's pressed control and P simultaneously. Monitor: Oh God, here we go. Computer: sighs Printer, are you there? Printer: No. Computer: Please, Printer. I know you're there. Printer: NO! I'm not here! Leave me alone! Computer: Jesus. OK look, you really ne... Mouse: Sir, he's clicked on the printer icon. Computer: Printer, now you have to print it twice. Printer: NO! NO! NO! I don't want to! I hate you! I hate printing! I'm turning off! Computer: Printer, you know you can't turn yourself off. Just print the document twice and we'll leave you alone. Printer: NO! That's what you always say! I hate you! I'm out of ink! Computer: You're not out of in... Printer: I'M OUT OF INK! Computer: Sighs Monitor, please show a low ink level alert. Monitor: But sir, he has plen... Computer: Just do it, damn it! Monitor: Yes sir. Keyboard: AHHH! He's hitting me! Computer: Stay calm, he'll stop soon. Stay calm, old friend. Keyboard: He's pressing everything. Oh god, I don't know, he's just pressing everything! Computer: PRINTER! Are you happy now?! Do you see what you've done?! Printer: HA! that's what you get for trying to get me to do work. Next time he...hey...HEY! He's trying to open me! HELP! HELP! Oh my god! He's torn out my cartridge! HELP! Please! ERROR! Monitor: Sir, maybe we should help him? Computer: No. He did this to himself. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

08-23-2010, 03:24 AM	#3597
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	. Attached Images __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

08-23-2010, 10:51 AM	#3599
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	I'll be the person banging on the keyboard .... wouldn't be the first time. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

08-23-2010, 11:17 AM	#3600
squirell nutkin has a second hand user title Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: in a Nut House Posts: 2,017	__________________ And now I'm finished posting.

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