From the Dark Corners of my Mind - Page 4

wanderer · 03-25-2010, 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim

ok, wanderer's quiz:

1. Please State your age.

Is it?

Yes, it is!

lumberjim · 03-25-2010, 11:05 PM

quick fail. nice job.

Cicero · 03-26-2010, 12:12 AM

Wow. That was in one "fail" swoop.

classicman · 03-26-2010, 11:49 AM

BURN HIM - BAN HIM - BURN HIM - BAN HIM
BURN HIM - BAN HIM - BURN HIM - BAN HIM
BURN HIM - BAN HIM - BURN HIM - BAN HIM...

oh too early to start that? just kidding.

Trilby · 03-26-2010, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by classicman

BURN HIM - BAN HIM - BURN HIM - BAN HIM
BURN HIM - BAN HIM - BURN HIM - BAN HIM
BURN HIM - BAN HIM - BURN HIM - BAN HIM.

Let's build a bridge out of him!

xoxoxoBruce · 03-26-2010, 03:01 PM

Quote:

We forsake you, gonna rape you
Let's forget you better still

wanderer · 03-26-2010, 09:09 PM

lumberjim · 03-26-2010, 10:12 PM

yeah. well...

we don't cotton adolescent wankers going through that imminently embarrassing phase you seem to be in at the moment. Trust me. In eleven months, come back and read that post, and just know that, at your age, we all wrote some stupid shit we're embarrassed by too. Accept that you're a mook like the rest of us, and cop to the fact that while these thoughts are new to you, ......they are not actually 'new.'

just breathe.

wanderer · 03-27-2010, 01:12 AM

Yeah, it may be stupid. But I am not embarrassed. So much in life is shit, so it is ok to write some of it.

skysidhe · 03-27-2010, 08:51 AM

I don't think bruce and classic were serious.

I feel bad that your creative work was blasted in part because of my first post. I want you to know that I did take it seriously in saying do the Hubble 3D experience. Maybe it would make those elusive thoughts more concrete.

If I may offer some constructive criticism to make up for any hurt you may be feeling.

If what you wrote was in part a free style exploration and not really a dark gloomy disjointed cry for help I would re work what you wrote into a more cohesive thought.
It's not like I have not written dark and gloomy before but I would try to make one complete thought.

Maybe you can modify it. Take one sentence at a time and make one complete paragraph instead of the running free style.

You used the word enigmatic and so you are grasping for comparison yet the comparisons are sweeping in scope.This is what makes it so hard to read.

Select a setting or comparison and stick to it then make comparisons of two or three like ideas.

The settings
sands of time
petals of a tree
jungle
mouse in a trap
light bulb on a dark street
lurking shadows
dark corridors
time
eternity

the emotions
getting out
panic
love
beloved
afraid

Life that was and life that will be are like the tiny petals of a cherry tree cascading down on our dusty path.

An eternity of births and deaths we walk hand in hand. The entropy is that I am often afraid......there's no road, there's no you, there's no me.

The problem with the word entropy is that it is a closed system. I would be more clear in the use of that word as it relates to the universe and your mind which are not closed but perhaps you mean your state of mine is in decline.

I think some restructuring and some work you can express again what it is you are trying to say and I hope you do not mind my creative license I took in rearranging a couple sentences.

I will even post something dark and gloomy that I wrote so that people can mock at me too or rearrange it to make it better.

lumberjim · 03-27-2010, 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim

we

meaning me and this mouse I have in my pocket, naturally.

which is to say, I spoke out of turn. mooking up!

skysidhe · 03-27-2010, 09:34 AM

This entry is particularly morose and I wrote it after months of not being able to connect to a musician friend who 'seemed' to have time for everyone but me. It was my own personal pity party and I AM embarrassed to air my dirty laundry. It is dark and private and probably not fit for human consumption. lol
There is only one though and this is it. I am more inclined toward the sunny brook farm type these days.

I think I owe it to wanderer though.It isn't that people don't have dark times it's just that we can compartmentalize and trim it down so that it stands alone and then put it away or put it in the reject pile.

Love Lost

I sat by the great window. The silver streaks of rain and moisture painting aging lines on my reflection. I caught you looking;not at me but at the distorted image. Craigs and fissures presented in the rain sweat glass; I tried to ignore your disdain. Attempting a pretense of not noticing, although it cut me to the core; I peered more closely hoping I could find something of worth to fix my attention upon beyond the foggy gloom.
Distractedly maybe desperately, I asked you for a candle to light my small corner but you said the cost of beeswax was too expensive as you plunged a spoonful of honey into your mouth.

skysidhe · 03-27-2010, 11:53 AM

wtf happened to the edit button! grr

In reality I just said we needed to have a conversation real soon or I was just going to f'ck off.

He didn't know I was feeling badly because I was being so patient with all the schedules and what not.There is a big difference between entertaining gloom and taking the bull by the horns. No love lost.

wanderer · 03-27-2010, 12:23 PM

Thanks for all that buckets of advice. Hope it will come in handy in future. Yeah, it is not any desperate cry for help but just an attempt at stating the darkness that sometimes makes me wonder (not depressing, despite what all the responses these wonderful folks have been claiming)!

Urbane Guerrilla · 03-29-2010, 07:29 PM

To get all Pollyanna all over you, when it isn't dark it is goddamn hard to see all the stars.

03-25-2010, 11:05 PM	#47
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	quick fail. nice job. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

03-26-2010, 12:12 AM	#48
Cicero Looking forward to open mic night. Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New Mexico Posts: 5,148	Wow. That was in one "fail" swoop. __________________ Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.- Carl Jung

03-26-2010, 11:49 AM	#49
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	BURN HIM - BAN HIM - BURN HIM - BAN HIM BURN HIM - BAN HIM - BURN HIM - BAN HIM BURN HIM - BAN HIM - BURN HIM - BAN HIM... oh too early to start that? just kidding. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

03-26-2010, 09:09 PM	#52
wanderer Master of the Domain Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 225	__________________ smoke on the water

03-26-2010, 10:12 PM	#53
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	yeah. well... we don't cotton adolescent wankers going through that imminently embarrassing phase you seem to be in at the moment. Trust me. In eleven months, come back and read that post, and just know that, at your age, we all wrote some stupid shit we're embarrassed by too. Accept that you're a mook like the rest of us, and cop to the fact that while these thoughts are new to you, ......they are not actually 'new.' just breathe. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

03-27-2010, 01:12 AM	#54
wanderer Master of the Domain Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 225	Yeah, it may be stupid. But I am not embarrassed. So much in life is shit, so it is ok to write some of it. __________________ smoke on the water

03-27-2010, 08:51 AM	#55
skysidhe ~~Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.~~ Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 6,828	I don't think bruce and classic were serious. I feel bad that your creative work was blasted in part because of my first post. I want you to know that I did take it seriously in saying do the Hubble 3D experience. Maybe it would make those elusive thoughts more concrete. If I may offer some constructive criticism to make up for any hurt you may be feeling. If what you wrote was in part a free style exploration and not really a dark gloomy disjointed cry for help I would re work what you wrote into a more cohesive thought. It's not like I have not written dark and gloomy before but I would try to make one complete thought. Maybe you can modify it. Take one sentence at a time and make one complete paragraph instead of the running free style. You used the word enigmatic and so you are grasping for comparison yet the comparisons are sweeping in scope.This is what makes it so hard to read. Select a setting or comparison and stick to it then make comparisons of two or three like ideas. The settings sands of time petals of a tree jungle mouse in a trap light bulb on a dark street lurking shadows dark corridors time eternity the emotions getting out panic love beloved afraid Life that was and life that will be are like the tiny petals of a cherry tree cascading down on our dusty path. An eternity of births and deaths we walk hand in hand. The entropy is that I am often afraid......there's no road, there's no you, there's no me. The problem with the word entropy is that it is a closed system. I would be more clear in the use of that word as it relates to the universe and your mind which are not closed but perhaps you mean your state of mine is in decline. I think some restructuring and some work you can express again what it is you are trying to say and I hope you do not mind my creative license I took in rearranging a couple sentences. I will even post something dark and gloomy that I wrote so that people can mock at me too or rearrange it to make it better. Last edited by skysidhe; 03-27-2010 at 09:37 AM. Reason: speeling

03-27-2010, 09:34 AM	#57
skysidhe ~~Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.~~ Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 6,828	This entry is particularly morose and I wrote it after months of not being able to connect to a musician friend who 'seemed' to have time for everyone but me. It was my own personal pity party and I AM embarrassed to air my dirty laundry. It is dark and private and probably not fit for human consumption. lol There is only one though and this is it. I am more inclined toward the sunny brook farm type these days. I think I owe it to wanderer though.It isn't that people don't have dark times it's just that we can compartmentalize and trim it down so that it stands alone and then put it away or put it in the reject pile. Love Lost I sat by the great window. The silver streaks of rain and moisture painting aging lines on my reflection. I caught you looking;not at me but at the distorted image. Craigs and fissures presented in the rain sweat glass; I tried to ignore your disdain. Attempting a pretense of not noticing, although it cut me to the core; I peered more closely hoping I could find something of worth to fix my attention upon beyond the foggy gloom. Distractedly maybe desperately, I asked you for a candle to light my small corner but you said the cost of beeswax was too expensive as you plunged a spoonful of honey into your mouth.

03-27-2010, 11:53 AM	#58
skysidhe ~~Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.~~ Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 6,828	wtf happened to the edit button! grr In reality I just said we needed to have a conversation real soon or I was just going to f'ck off. He didn't know I was feeling badly because I was being so patient with all the schedules and what not.There is a big difference between entertaining gloom and taking the bull by the horns. No love lost.

03-27-2010, 12:23 PM	#59
wanderer Master of the Domain Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 225	Thanks for all that buckets of advice. Hope it will come in handy in future. Yeah, it is not any desperate cry for help but just an attempt at stating the darkness that sometimes makes me wonder (not depressing, despite what all the responses these wonderful folks have been claiming)! __________________ smoke on the water

03-29-2010, 07:29 PM	#60
Urbane Guerrilla Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Southern California Posts: 6,674	To get all Pollyanna all over you, when it isn't dark it is goddamn hard to see all the stars. __________________ Wanna stop school shootings? End Gun-Free Zones, of course.

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