Cellar in Crisis!

[Flint]

Concerned Citizens, USA - Jun 14, 07

Local authorities report a disturbing situation, as rising waters, flooding the ground floors of the internet, threaten to spill over into the sparsely populated lower levels and wreak havoc on the habitat of the endangered species who dwell there.

Experts compare the situation to New Orleans, where standing floodwaters in a highly populated area picked up pestilence and industrial waste. Adding to the danger of this current situation, the polluted sludge may very well rain down upon the heads of these unlucky denizens of the underworld, befouling their habitat and necessitating emergency biohazard protocols.

Some take a unique outlook, suggesting an embrace of the impending disaster as a gift from Mother Nature; even advocating such extreme measures as wallowing in the radioactive muck, allowing the toxic concoction to give, perhaps, a nudge to the evolutionary process.

Others take a different point of view, urging an immediate and indiscriminate slaughter of anything that moves, breathes, or blinks.

Still others suggest that there may be some kind of middle ground, a moderate approach. These idealistic daydreamers are unanimously shouted down, after which they are beaten to death without further ado.