tests for potential relationships

[it]

ok, everyone has certain tests for potential partners... the crux point where you are trying to figure out if this person is good for the long term.

what are yours?

[it]

i'll start - as i've receantly learned a new one:

test: a few good dates in when things are more open and comfortable, find a context by which to ask if she has done mistakes in how she treated her partners in previous relationships.

what's the answer i'm looking for: yes i have.

why: unless they never had any relationships, everyone has done so at some point, and if there's anything i learned from my last painful relationship is that if someone can't admit to it and has to be rightous all the time, they will be right as they go on wronging you. the capacity for people to judge their own action is critical for both growing and adapting to others, and i'm not going with someone who doesn't have that capacity ever again (well, if i am honest with myself i should add "unless she's too hot for my brain to work").

[wolf]

Name the Monkees, read (especially science fiction), match caliber.

[Griff]

Cycling, camping, and hiking in "bad" weather. If we're still having fun, it is a go. Year 21 coming up.

[it]

dana - you might be right, but right now i am on the cautious side.

Originally Posted by Griff

Cycling, camping, and hiking in "bad" weather. If we're still having fun, it is a go. Year 21 coming up.

awosme idea.

also: find something you disagree about which is important to you.

politics, religion, hell when she whines about how her mother dispresects her see if you can take her mother's side just for the sake of it.

if you can talk about stuff you disagree about without an all out war and without someone ending up backpadeling just to make the other person happy, then that has to be a good sign.

[richlevy]

Originally Posted by wolf

Name the Monkees, read (especially science fiction), match caliber.

.357!? I'm not cutting off .143 for anyone!

[jimhelm]

Originally Posted by wolf

Name the Monkees, read (especially science fiction), match caliber.

Mickey Dolenz, Peter Tork, Davy Jones, Mike Nesmith

big sci fi geek

I was good until the 3rd question. alas, wolf... we would never make it. I own no firearms.

[wolf]

Originally Posted by jimhelm

Mickey Dolenz, Peter Tork, Davy Jones, Mike Nesmith

big sci fi geek

I was good until the 3rd question. alas, wolf... we would never make it. I own no firearms.

Are you willing to learn?

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by jimhelm

Mickey Dolenz, Peter Tork, Davy Jones, Mike Nesmith

big sci fi geek

I was good until the 3rd question. alas, wolf... we would never make it. I own no firearms.

.38, .39 whatever it takes...

[Rrrraven]

Back when I was dating for what seems like forever without finding a good match, someone told me to make a list of 100 "things" I was looking for in a partner. So I started my list and added to it over time. I only got up to #34 though, before I met my boyfriend. I don't know if "putting my wishes out there" did any good or not - but he does meet all the criteria. Maybe really thinking about what I was looking for helped me recognize it when I saw it.

I also think that making hard and fast rules - like knowing all the words to the Rocky Horror soundtrack (with dance moves) should be relaxed. Although come to think of it, he does do a mean Time Warp.

[DanaC]

I think really, there's no 'test' that will work. Some couples seemingly have everything going for them and then it doesn't work. Others seem like they're permanently on the cusp of breakup, but somehow stay strong for decades.

Can't measure and quantify it that much I don't think.

Still...once you've experienced one of those breakpoints it can show up some potential dangers to watch for in future.

[footfootfoot]

Match caliber? Are you talking strike anywhere or book matches?

[footfootfoot]

Tests for potential relationships

[zippyt]

Im with Griff on this one ,
All so ,And ,or , ( hey i just woke up and im on pain meds )
if you and the potential sig other can canoe together ,
fun boozy day trip with mutual friends ,
then over nighter , camping on the river
and still have fun , well then you 2 have a good chance of makeing it
My wife and i are gonig on 24 years

[infinite monkey]

Do you spit out your car window?

You do? How very honest of you. However, I won't date you.

I don't believe in 'testing' people. It's deceitful. As interactions develop, they're either on your wavelength or not. People can 'say' anything, anyway...especially in the beginning when they're trying to demonstrate how perfect they are. This is why I come out of the gate as crappy as I always am. I can't keep up the I'm so perfect ruse for very long.