What might be making you a tad apprehensive, but might not, as it's too soon to tell

[Next1]

The end. Or is it the beginning? I don't know. I'm just incredibly tired of not being. Of being. Being. Enough?

I was enough once or at least I thought I was. Then it all fell down. But then I built it again. Then it caught fire. Or was it set ablaze? Hard to remember because after that was the flood. But things dry out and others are replaced. Then all is shiny and new again. Then the earthquake. The earthquake was hard because while the others were natural the catastrophe was of my own doing. The earthquake though? That was a shock to say the least.

But I'm a builder. I'm pretty good at it really. Next is my favorite word. Or maybe it's fuck. Either way life goes on. And on. And on. On. On. On. It just doesn't stop. Because it's wrong to stop. Because everyone is counting on you to continue. Not succeed, but continue. To build. And sweep up the ashes. And build. And sweep up the rubble. But what if I don't want to sweep anymore? What if I want to lie down in the ashes? To let my head slip beneath the waves? Why can't I just pull the rubble over me?

Why?

[glatt]

Originally Posted by Next1

Either way life goes on. And on. And on. On. On. On. It just doesn't stop.

My dad once said that "human life is very long." And I thought it was a kind of funny notion at the time, but I remember it years later. It's very true. I have come to understand it even better now, years later. I feel like I'm on my 4th lifetime now. My life doesn't suck. It's pretty damn good, all things considered, but there are times... And I find myself wondering what the point of it all is.

It's like that old John Cougar song, back when he called himself that: "oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone."

But then little things come up that are maybe not quite thrilling, but fun. Go find a zip line course. That will put some pep in your step. Focus on those fun things that happen occasionally, and if they aren't happening, make them happen.