Fraternity Friends

freshnesschronic · 09-14-2007, 09:36 PM

Not mad, but pretty annoyed. Concerning tonite's plans, I called my roommate L and asked what was going down. He was like "nothing." I reiterated "the other guys aren't doing anything?" He said "no." When I got home I asked my other roomate L what they were doing and he answered my straight up, "we're going camping." I said "Is L going too?" He said "yeah."

Yeah so I live in a house with 3 Lambda Phi Epsilon brothers and my other friend, L. It's an Asian-Interest fraternity. Gosh I have to write another novel it seems.

My 3 roommates rushed Lambda one year ago, first semester. Me and L didn't. We thought it was kinda lame and the frat doesn't have that great of a name on campus and in my opinion, neither of us are cut out for Greek life. Me and L were gonna be roommates in the dorm this year. My other 3 roommates were looking for a regular house (not a frat house) to reestablish the fraternity (they're rebuilding over recent years, economic, Greek problems) and the other chapter bros had an apartment lease already planned out so it was just them 3 when they found the house we are living in now. They couldn't pay the rent so they asked L and I to live with them. We agreed it would be "5 friends" not the Lambda house.

Well, L bailed on me and pledged. Last Thursday we had a house meeting to discuss house issues and finally--Lambda pledging and where we were at in our decision making. L is easily influenced, and it didn't help my interest that they are all from the same HS (North) and I'm the cross town rival (Central), so they are all closer friends and known each other longer. That night they convinced him to pledge. What was 3 is now 4 and I am all alone in my room blasting music so I don't have to go downstairs where 8 or so bros are hanging out in my living room. This really sucks, actually. They say things won't change between me and the Lambdas but how naive can you be. Of course things will change between us. I haven't told them, but I have no plans of living with them again, I don't want my house to be Lambda dominated. Pretty disappointed in L's decision but what's done is done. Hoping the school year doesn't escalate issues and bring more space between the original "5 friends".

I've asked my friends I and A if they thought I could add onto their apartment idea for next year and luckily they agreed.

Just wanted to share this experience I am going through.

But I do feel sold out.

Edit: Still sitting in my room, listening to them laugh downstairs and I really want them to get the fuck out.

xoxoxoBruce · 09-14-2007, 10:03 PM

Seems to me you're shunning them. What difference does it make if everyone in the living room is a frat boy, except you. Is the entire evening spent on secret handshakes and frat talk?

lumberjim · 09-15-2007, 12:34 AM

dude......huge run-on sentences....cant understand it...

cliff notes?

your lover pledged to the frat? what?

speak engrish!

Flint · 09-15-2007, 01:47 AM

Quote:

speak engrish!

Sundae · 09-15-2007, 08:43 AM

Fresh, I know you were just venting, but I have to agree with Bruce.
You would have a much better time if you just stopped nursing your hurt and went to join them.

Forget that L seems to have deliberately lied re camping, as you say he is easily led and you put him on he spot at a time when he didn't have any backup. If your housemates really are having Frat Only meetings in your living room on a regular basis then work out a schedule. If not - just sit with them as normal.

Who knows, one day one of them could be giving a toast at your 70th birthday saying, "I'd have missed out on a lifelong friendship if I hadn't happened to drop in on some frat buddies one night - it's where I met Fresh" etc etc

xoxoxoBruce · 09-15-2007, 10:21 AM

Another thought... maybe the camping is part of the frat initiation and he didn't want to dwell on the whole frat subject.

lumberjim · 09-15-2007, 10:35 AM

fresh, if you did go camping, and woke up the next morning with vaseline allover your ass, and your pants down around your ankles....would you tell anyone?

freshnesschronic · 09-15-2007, 06:49 PM

Mmmmmmmmmmmm.....
It's just kinda different sitting with strictly Lambdas. The mood is changed when I'm there, they don't want to mention too much stuff because they "aren't at liberty to say" about half of their frat stuff to non Greeks. So I'm in the void about most of it, details mainly. And when they start calling people by their nicknames and discussing other chapter activities that's when I really feel like "um, I'm gonna go."

xoxoxoBruce · 09-15-2007, 07:26 PM

Well in that case never let them out of your sight. Follow them all over the house, it'll drive 'em crazy.

monster · 09-15-2007, 08:20 PM

This is another one of those things most Brits think only happens in movies. Like Halloween, cookie cutter neighborhoods with one neverending front lawn, sending your kids off to summer camp for months on end, poison ivy, yellow school buses, steam coming out of grids in the street and Arnie being elected. Oh and the whole family wearing matching holiday sweaters and sending a photo of it to everyone.

They really have codenames? Nasty.

breakingnews · 09-16-2007, 04:35 AM

FC, the worst thing you can do is sit there and be pitiful. You're on a campus with what, like, 30,000 students - go make some other friends. You'll need them anyway - I'll be really impressed if you keep the same group of friends through four years of college.

But don't hold the frat thing against your roommates. It's just something they've chosen to do, just as you'll probably do activities they don't find appealing. If you really are good friends - and not a bunch of whiny little girls - you'll look past it and enjoy what you do have in common.

You might find them being in a fraternity is a good thing. I lived with Greeks all throughout college - I went to their parties, hooked up with frat house sluts, played on their intramural sports teams, etc. But at the end of the night, I got to go do my own thing while they had to stick around and deal with all the bullshit that comes with being Greek. (And trust me - in due time you'll see that all the secrets, codenames and whatever is a huge pile of doo doo and a complete waste of time.)

Undertoad · 09-16-2007, 09:04 AM

Quote:

cookie cutter neighborhoods with one neverending front lawn

(flashback to 1978, 14-year olds in Sheffield Yorks UK riding the bus to school. This is something I shall never forget as long as I live.)

Linda: Ooh, I could never live in America.
UT: Why is that?
Linda: The people are loud and obnoxious, every night you hear sirens going off... but worst of all, in every neighborhood all the houses are exactly alike.

Satellite image of the road we were on when she said that (it hasn't changed since):

monster · 09-16-2007, 10:12 AM

Ooh, I forgot the loud and obnoxious bit.....

(looks to me like those houses have very small individual front gardens with dividing features, and that the larger areas of grass (only on one of the streets and not throughout the entire neighborhood) are on the other side of the pavement. You must've been posh if you lived in one of those. Also, in what way are those houses all alike? Or are you being the house version of racist here? ...all grey boxes look alike.....) :p

Undertoad · 09-16-2007, 10:48 AM

We were the British sense of posh, I suppose, the high class of Sheffield in the Full Monty era :P

Believe me, all the houses on that street looked exactly alike and still do.

monster · 09-16-2007, 12:35 PM

Look I'm allowed a little poetic licence aren't I? They have Halloween in the UK too. and 4th July.......

anyway, back to FNC's original programming....... [/hijack]

09-14-2007, 09:36 PM	#1
freshnesschronic Professor Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,555	Fraternity Friends Not mad, but pretty annoyed. Concerning tonite's plans, I called my roommate L and asked what was going down. He was like "nothing." I reiterated "the other guys aren't doing anything?" He said "no." When I got home I asked my other roomate L what they were doing and he answered my straight up, "we're going camping." I said "Is L going too?" He said "yeah." Yeah so I live in a house with 3 Lambda Phi Epsilon brothers and my other friend, L. It's an Asian-Interest fraternity. Gosh I have to write another novel it seems. My 3 roommates rushed Lambda one year ago, first semester. Me and L didn't. We thought it was kinda lame and the frat doesn't have that great of a name on campus and in my opinion, neither of us are cut out for Greek life. Me and L were gonna be roommates in the dorm this year. My other 3 roommates were looking for a regular house (not a frat house) to reestablish the fraternity (they're rebuilding over recent years, economic, Greek problems) and the other chapter bros had an apartment lease already planned out so it was just them 3 when they found the house we are living in now. They couldn't pay the rent so they asked L and I to live with them. We agreed it would be "5 friends" not the Lambda house. Well, L bailed on me and pledged. Last Thursday we had a house meeting to discuss house issues and finally--Lambda pledging and where we were at in our decision making. L is easily influenced, and it didn't help my interest that they are all from the same HS (North) and I'm the cross town rival (Central), so they are all closer friends and known each other longer. That night they convinced him to pledge. What was 3 is now 4 and I am all alone in my room blasting music so I don't have to go downstairs where 8 or so bros are hanging out in my living room. This really sucks, actually. They say things won't change between me and the Lambdas but how naive can you be. Of course things will change between us. I haven't told them, but I have no plans of living with them again, I don't want my house to be Lambda dominated. Pretty disappointed in L's decision but what's done is done. Hoping the school year doesn't escalate issues and bring more space between the original "5 friends". I've asked my friends I and A if they thought I could add onto their apartment idea for next year and luckily they agreed. Just wanted to share this experience I am going through. But I do feel sold out. Edit: Still sitting in my room, listening to them laugh downstairs and I really want them to get the fuck out.

09-14-2007, 10:03 PM	#2
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Seems to me you're shunning them. What difference does it make if everyone in the living room is a frat boy, except you. Is the entire evening spent on secret handshakes and frat talk? __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

09-15-2007, 12:34 AM	#3
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	dude......huge run-on sentences....cant understand it... cliff notes? your lover pledged to the frat? what? speak engrish! __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

09-15-2007, 10:21 AM	#6
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Another thought... maybe the camping is part of the frat initiation and he didn't want to dwell on the whole frat subject. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

09-15-2007, 10:35 AM	#7
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	fresh, if you did go camping, and woke up the next morning with vaseline allover your ass, and your pants down around your ankles....would you tell anyone? __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

09-15-2007, 08:43 AM	#5
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Fresh, I know you were just venting, but I have to agree with Bruce. You would have a much better time if you just stopped nursing your hurt and went to join them. Forget that L seems to have deliberately lied re camping, as you say he is easily led and you put him on he spot at a time when he didn't have any backup. If your housemates really are having Frat Only meetings in your living room on a regular basis then work out a schedule. If not - just sit with them as normal. Who knows, one day one of them could be giving a toast at your 70th birthday saying, "I'd have missed out on a lifelong friendship if I hadn't happened to drop in on some frat buddies one night - it's where I met Fresh" etc etc

09-15-2007, 06:49 PM	#8
freshnesschronic Professor Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,555	Mmmmmmmmmmmm..... It's just kinda different sitting with strictly Lambdas. The mood is changed when I'm there, they don't want to mention too much stuff because they "aren't at liberty to say" about half of their frat stuff to non Greeks. So I'm in the void about most of it, details mainly. And when they start calling people by their nicknames and discussing other chapter activities that's when I really feel like "um, I'm gonna go."

09-15-2007, 07:26 PM	#9
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Well in that case never let them out of your sight. Follow them all over the house, it'll drive 'em crazy. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

09-15-2007, 08:20 PM	#10
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	This is another one of those things most Brits think only happens in movies. Like Halloween, cookie cutter neighborhoods with one neverending front lawn, sending your kids off to summer camp for months on end, poison ivy, yellow school buses, steam coming out of grids in the street and Arnie being elected. Oh and the whole family wearing matching holiday sweaters and sending a photo of it to everyone. They really have codenames? Nasty. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

09-16-2007, 04:35 AM	#11
breakingnews Q_Q Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: somewhere in between Posts: 995	FC, the worst thing you can do is sit there and be pitiful. You're on a campus with what, like, 30,000 students - go make some other friends. You'll need them anyway - I'll be really impressed if you keep the same group of friends through four years of college. But don't hold the frat thing against your roommates. It's just something they've chosen to do, just as you'll probably do activities they don't find appealing. If you really are good friends - and not a bunch of whiny little girls - you'll look past it and enjoy what you do have in common. You might find them being in a fraternity is a good thing. I lived with Greeks all throughout college - I went to their parties, hooked up with frat house sluts, played on their intramural sports teams, etc. But at the end of the night, I got to go do my own thing while they had to stick around and deal with all the bullshit that comes with being Greek. (And trust me - in due time you'll see that all the secrets, codenames and whatever is a huge pile of doo doo and a complete waste of time.) __________________ Gone crazy, be back never.

09-16-2007, 10:12 AM	#13
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Ooh, I forgot the loud and obnoxious bit..... (looks to me like those houses have very small individual front gardens with dividing features, and that the larger areas of grass (only on one of the streets and not throughout the entire neighborhood) are on the other side of the pavement. You must've been posh if you lived in one of those. Also, in what way are those houses all alike? Or are you being the house version of racist here? ...all grey boxes look alike.....) :p __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

09-16-2007, 10:48 AM	#14
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	We were the British sense of posh, I suppose, the high class of Sheffield in the Full Monty era :P Believe me, all the houses on that street looked exactly alike and still do.

09-16-2007, 12:35 PM	#15
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Look I'm allowed a little poetic licence aren't I? They have Halloween in the UK too. and 4th July....... anyway, back to FNC's original programming....... [/hijack] __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

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