Tales from the Nuthouse: Lest You Think I have a Really Cool Job - Page 14

classicman · 06-13-2010, 06:58 PM

snort!

TheMercenary · 06-18-2010, 05:03 PM

Wolf your stories are da bomb. You couldn't make this stuff up if you wanted to.

wolf · 06-23-2010, 10:09 PM

The air conditioner broke. Hottest fricken day of the fricken year so far and the air conditioner broke.

What does the bosslady say? "Oh, well, I'll send AmbulanceCrewChief (her husband) to the store tomorrow."

Tomorrow?? I don't need a fricken air conditioner TOMORROW. I need one NOW.

I am fanning myself with a hand fan. That's why I'm typing more slowly. One handed typing. (I will not say anything about where I might have learned that particular skill.)

wolf · 09-17-2010, 12:28 PM

Every now and again people do things that surprise even me.

Strange, though, that I have to argue with police departments about whether it's crazy enough or not.

So, what did the guy do?

Homeless man goes into a shopping center parking lot in broad daylight and realizes he has some personal needs to attend to.

So he breaks into a car.

And takes a shit AND pisses in the car.

And THEN takes a nap.

Vandalism, yes.

Creating a public nuisance, yes.

Crazy enough to be in the hospital? Not entirely. Being insufferably annoying may carry some weight here, but not in terms of the Mental Health Procedures Act.

The officer and his sergeant both were not impressed by my suggestion that they just charge him and dump him back across the line into the city, where he belonged.

Spexxvet · 09-17-2010, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf

The officer and his sergeant both were not impressed by my suggestion that they just charge him and dump him back across the line into the city, where he belonged.

That's not fun. Dumping him in the local burb would be fun.

wolf · 09-17-2010, 12:51 PM

A neighboring jurisdiction on MY side of the line would not serve my purposes. You don't catch and release in your own patch, eh? (yes, the shopping center was in The Kingdom, where presumably the only suitable bushes are behind the walls of gated communities or palaces).

Undertoad · 09-18-2010, 01:12 PM

Next time he'll know better - if he wants a roof over his head, he should take that crap and write on the windshield with it.

wolf · 09-19-2010, 01:39 PM

We support the fecal decorative.

Amazing though. Take a dump on a picture of the Virgin Mary and you're an artist. Take a dump on a leather interior and you're a vandal.

BigV · 10-13-2010, 04:50 PM

Hi wolf--may I cut in please? Thanks.

I work in a weird office. A fella just walked in and said hey... (showing me a catalog) guess what this is? Me: ???? It was a rat guillotine. A tabletop guillotine for decapitating rats. Me: Well... learned something today. It was a serious piece of lab equipment.

/narrator voice "This is BigV, reporting from the twilight zone. Back to you wolf."

SteveDallas · 10-13-2010, 10:02 PM

It makes it easier to grind their brains up and put them in a centrifuge.

wolf · 10-17-2010, 09:42 AM

I've been working dayshift while the boss is cruising around the Mediterranean.

Dayshift is more stressful, because I don't know many of their rules, other than "all of administration is here, you have to really suck up."

I also am usually not exposed to my own department's supervisory staff for more than a half-hour to an hour a day.

I now am sitting next to the Crisis Boss for 8 hours at a stretch. I wonder if this is anything like exposure to unstable radioactive isotopes.

Probably.

It does endanger my employment status.

Things that I say or do under ordinary circumstances might represent a firing offense to her. I have no way of knowing.

I should be back on my shift next Thursday.

xoxoxoBruce · 10-17-2010, 09:48 AM

Tiptoe through the nuthouse
By the Cri-boss, that is where I'll be
Come tiptoe through the mine field with me

wolf · 10-17-2010, 09:57 AM

Example.

Disagreed with the doc on the disposition of a patient. Stated my case, included statement that "he's slimy. Not a true word is coming out of his mouth. He's faking good."

Doc says, "but he says that the shotgun was just laying on the floor and that he was just picking it up, and it couldn't fire anyway it was so old and the barrel was welded shut."

"That's not what the family says."

Next thing I know the hospital CEO is calling me. "What's with you and the doctor?"

So I explain my side, say she disagrees with me. End of conversation. For me.

"Let me speak to the doctor."

Next thing I know doc tells me, "Well, I'm admitting him so we don't get sued."

Half hour later I take a call from the involved police department, wanting to make sure we're keeping the guy. I ask the Sgt. about the weapon. No, it wasn't some antique, and yes, it appeared to be in perfect, firing condition, and yes, it was recovered loaded.

I win.

But the doc will probably take a couple of days to get over her snit.

xoxoxoBruce · 10-17-2010, 10:13 AM

Strike one - disagreeing with doctor.
Strike two - being right.

wolf · 10-17-2010, 10:15 AM

I typically hit with bases loaded, and two outs.

06-13-2010, 06:58 PM	#196
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	snort! __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

06-23-2010, 10:09 PM	#198
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	The air conditioner broke. Hottest fricken day of the fricken year so far and the air conditioner broke. What does the bosslady say? "Oh, well, I'll send AmbulanceCrewChief (her husband) to the store tomorrow." Tomorrow?? I don't need a fricken air conditioner TOMORROW. I need one NOW. I am fanning myself with a hand fan. That's why I'm typing more slowly. One handed typing. (I will not say anything about where I might have learned that particular skill.) __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

09-17-2010, 12:28 PM	#199
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Every now and again people do things that surprise even me. Strange, though, that I have to argue with police departments about whether it's crazy enough or not. So, what did the guy do? Homeless man goes into a shopping center parking lot in broad daylight and realizes he has some personal needs to attend to. So he breaks into a car. And takes a shit AND pisses in the car. And THEN takes a nap. Vandalism, yes. Creating a public nuisance, yes. Crazy enough to be in the hospital? Not entirely. Being insufferably annoying may carry some weight here, but not in terms of the Mental Health Procedures Act. The officer and his sergeant both were not impressed by my suggestion that they just charge him and dump him back across the line into the city, where he belonged. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

09-17-2010, 12:51 PM	#201
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	A neighboring jurisdiction on MY side of the line would not serve my purposes. You don't catch and release in your own patch, eh? (yes, the shopping center was in The Kingdom, where presumably the only suitable bushes are behind the walls of gated communities or palaces). __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

09-19-2010, 01:39 PM	#203
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	We support the fecal decorative. Amazing though. Take a dump on a picture of the Virgin Mary and you're an artist. Take a dump on a leather interior and you're a vandal. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

06-18-2010, 05:03 PM	#197
TheMercenary “Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo” Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Savannah, Georgia Posts: 21,393	Wolf your stories are da bomb. You couldn't make this stuff up if you wanted to.

09-18-2010, 01:12 PM	#202
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Next time he'll know better - if he wants a roof over his head, he should take that crap and write on the windshield with it.

10-13-2010, 04:50 PM	#204
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	Hi wolf--may I cut in please? Thanks. I work in a weird office. A fella just walked in and said hey... (showing me a catalog) guess what this is? Me: ???? It was a rat guillotine. A tabletop guillotine for decapitating rats. Me: Well... learned something today. It was a serious piece of lab equipment. /narrator voice "This is BigV, reporting from the twilight zone. Back to you wolf." __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

10-13-2010, 10:02 PM	#205
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	It makes it easier to grind their brains up and put them in a centrifuge.

10-17-2010, 09:42 AM	#206
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	I've been working dayshift while the boss is cruising around the Mediterranean. Dayshift is more stressful, because I don't know many of their rules, other than "all of administration is here, you have to really suck up." I also am usually not exposed to my own department's supervisory staff for more than a half-hour to an hour a day. I now am sitting next to the Crisis Boss for 8 hours at a stretch. I wonder if this is anything like exposure to unstable radioactive isotopes. Probably. It does endanger my employment status. Things that I say or do under ordinary circumstances might represent a firing offense to her. I have no way of knowing. I should be back on my shift next Thursday. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

10-17-2010, 09:48 AM	#207
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Tiptoe through the nuthouse By the Cri-boss, that is where I'll be Come tiptoe through the mine field with me __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

10-17-2010, 09:57 AM	#208
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Example. Disagreed with the doc on the disposition of a patient. Stated my case, included statement that "he's slimy. Not a true word is coming out of his mouth. He's faking good." Doc says, "but he says that the shotgun was just laying on the floor and that he was just picking it up, and it couldn't fire anyway it was so old and the barrel was welded shut." "That's not what the family says." Next thing I know the hospital CEO is calling me. "What's with you and the doctor?" So I explain my side, say she disagrees with me. End of conversation. For me. "Let me speak to the doctor." Next thing I know doc tells me, "Well, I'm admitting him so we don't get sued." Half hour later I take a call from the involved police department, wanting to make sure we're keeping the guy. I ask the Sgt. about the weapon. No, it wasn't some antique, and yes, it appeared to be in perfect, firing condition, and yes, it was recovered loaded. I win. But the doc will probably take a couple of days to get over her snit. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

10-17-2010, 10:13 AM	#209
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Strike one - disagreeing with doctor. Strike two - being right. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

10-17-2010, 10:15 AM	#210
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	I typically hit with bases loaded, and two outs. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

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