O' Wise Ones, I Need Your Counsel

[Elspode]

So...let's say you are a typical middle-aged ex hippie, living in the quiet suburban house you grew up in, a house you've lived in for over 30 years. Let's say that your kids, ages 12 and 16, are both suffering considerable harrassment and threats from various factions of multiple ethnicities on a nearly daily basis, both in, after and out of school. Let's even go so far as to say that the incidents have escalated over the past few weeks, to the point that one of the harassing youths had come to your house on the pretense of apologizing for incidents at school, reached out his hand to shake your youngest kid's hand to seal the apology, and then, when the kid opened the door to shake, the other kid yanked the door open and sucker punched your kid right in the snoot...with his older brother and mother standing right next to him when he got smacked.

Let's say that these kids have been chasing your kids down the street, both in cars, on foot and on bicycles, shouting obscenities and spitting on your kid or chasing them right up to your front door. Perhaps one day you came home and found a car full of these kids parked in front of your house laying in wait for your oldest to get home. Let's say that after one recent incident, you drove around and found a group of these kids and you talked with them, informing them that you would be making sure the law dealt with them, that you had more money, better lawyers and greater believeability, and one of them spit on your car and challenged you to do something about it..and the kid that spit on your car was about nine years old and wanted really, really badly to be a gangsta instead of a four foot honky. Maybe he even called you 'bitch' and 'asshole'.

Let's say that later that same evening, one of those same kids lurked behind your neatly manicured bushes at the side of your house and then threw a large stick at your oldest kid and then ran away, shouting obscenities as he ran.

Now, assume you are going away on vacation in a couple of days, and you were planning to leave the kids to walk home from school and be alone at home for a few hours before being picked up by their father (did I mention that your kids are your stepkids?). You've called the police some four times in the past month, you've been to the schools to discuss the situation and you've found that the kid who punched your kid had even been seen by the police and was being held back from moving on to high school because of the incidents, and now you find that he is actively seeking revenge.

Maybe an hour after you'd had the talk with that same kid and his posse, he'd ridden by your house and screamed 'You fucking faggots, you can't catch me!"

What do you do now? You can't beat the little bastards up because you're 46 and they're 9, 12, 14...they aren't afraid of you because they know that if you touch them, *you'll* be the one going to jail. The main gangsta's grandma has been informed, she knows the kid is running the streets, but she can't stop it.

How do you keep your kids safe? How do you stop the escalating harassment?

[Nothing But Net]

AK-47, when you absolutely, positively, gotta kill every little bastard on the street: accept no substitute.

Other than that, try Boric Acid.

[wolf]

Sounds like moving is not an option for you. I wouldn't recommend it anyway. Don't let the little bastards win.

Ever see Army of Darkness ... "This is my boomstick", oh, that won't work and will probably get you in more trouble than it will solve...

You've tried the conventional stuff, and even doing something like changing districts or homeschooling (yes, I understand that the time commitent makes this a not-option for you) doesn't really deal with the problem.

Keep up the contact with the local PD ... eventually they will be caught doing something that will land them in Juvie Jail.

Have you tried the 'painting arcane symbols' gambit?

The problem with kids today is that they have NO damn respect for authority. ooh .. but sometimes involving the CORRECT authority ... Children and Youth Services might have some info/services that could be useful.

[juju]

Perhaps you could teach your kids how to fight so they can defend themselves?

[wolf]

Unfortunately that doesn't work anymore, but opens up a whole can of worms labelled "you chile touch my chile, I sue yo' ass" (nevermind what 'they chile' has been doing for the last three months.)

What about some passive resistance? Are these the kind of kids where a lack of reaction will get them bored enough to find new victims?

And while I know that your children are perfect angels, was there something other than "those kids are weird and their dad's a hippy" that brought them to the attention of the demonspawn?

[xoxoxoBruce]

Mercenaries.

I don't believe that violence is out of the question. Put up signs that say
<center>
No Tresspassing
Violators will be shot.
Survivors will be shot again.
</center>

and then act appropriately.

Lobby the police even more intensely. Use a camcorder and record the kids doing what they're doing, then use it against them. While you're doing it, tell them. Let them know that you're getting them on tape, to provide evidence of their crimes to the judge, and that if they don't want to spend their next couple birthdays in juvenile hall, they might want to think about ceasing their activities.

Look in to the laws regarding "citizen's arrest" in your area. In many jurisdictions, citizens are allowed to detain people caught committing a crime.

My favorite option for removing the problem is this: wait for one of them to breach your home. Then cap the fucker in the head, no questions asked. Nothing sends a message like "I will literally kill you if you keep it up. Look at your friend." Rationalize it by realizing that these kids are going to be even worse when they grow up.

Honestly, a camcorder and plenty of tape is probably your best defense. Video evidence can get things done.

[SteveDallas]

I know it's probably distateful, but have you talked to a lawyer? It seems like what you need is to manipulate the system to get the desired results, and that's what lawyers are good at.

[Elspode]

1. My kids aren't angels, and part of what started these incidents is that they *did* fight back. Unfortunately, all that does is cause the original perps to gather they homies and come after them in greater numbers.

2. Moving is not an option. Why would I let those little cocksuckers run me out of my neighborhood?

3. Arcane symbols? I have a four-foot lighted pentagram hanging on the outside of my house. None of the perps have cited philosophical differences as their reasons for being objectionable.

4. Video idea already considered. Problem here is that I can't be everywhere that these little fucks are. I have to work, and most of this takes place in or after school. Even the home incidents have occurred while I was elsewhere.

5. Current plan is to access the cops each and every time something happens...it will soon become easier for them to help solve the problem than to ignore it.

6. I will be identifying the residence of the main problem tonight, and going to speak to his grandmother, explaining to her that I have a lawyer and will sue.

I just want all this shit to end. I don't bother anyone, and I don't appreciate being screwed with. You haven't lived until you've stood down a nine or ten year old kid who has just hocked a huge loogie on your fender right after telling you to 'fuck off, bitch', and then having him tell you that you can't make him clean it off...and the fact of the matter is, you can, but you don't think it is worth a lawsuit and possible jail time to make him do it.

[Undertoad]

Having been through a deep and life-altering year of being relentlessly bullyed in my adolescence, I like dave's ultra-violence approach.

I would not be satisfied until the little asswipe's pants had a big urine stain down the leg from fear. If mom was an accessory I would make sure she had the fear too.

And there's another reason why I don't have kids. If this happened to my family, I'm not sure where I would stop.

If you want grandkids, take this whole thing as seriously as you can and use all the resources in your command to address it. Bring everything you got. Don't let up until your foot is on their neck. Find your inner Hulk.

You're not a hippie, you're a parent now. You are literally fighting for the survival of your children.

[hot_pastrami]

You might consider seeking restraining orders against the perps, then a call to the cops may actually result in some measure of useful action. I think they see a little more weight in "This guy is violating his restraining order" than in "This kid is picking on my kid." You might consider mounting a cheap security camera outside your house to capture the little shitheads in action... that way you don't have to actually be there to get it on tape. The sight of the cameras may help discourage them from starting trouble at your house, too.

The problem is that these little maggots feed on feeling like they're in charge, so as long as you deliver ineffective threats about lawyers and don't follow through on them, these guys will only get worse. They'll perceive that as a frightened, desperate response, which is <i>exactly</i> what they're looking for.

The next time some punk kid hocks a logie on your car, give him one right back, maybe in the face or on his shirt. If he's twelve years old, what the hell is he going to do about it? Wedgies work well, too... very humiliating in front of his friends. Or pull the gum out of your mouth and smear it into his hair. Make going after your kids a humiliating pursuit for them, and they should stop, at least for a while.

Unfortunately these things seldom end until contact between the kids is eliminated, or the picked-on manages to turn the tables by kicking some ass or getting some big friends. An option to consider is to send the kids to school with a couple of rolls of dimes in their pockets... if it comes to blows, they coil their fists around the dimes before throwing a punch, and the other guy will feel like he was hit with a baseball bat. Best $10 you'll ever spend.

Anyhow, good luck.

[juju]

Originally posted by Elspode
2. Moving is not an option. Why would I let those little cocksuckers run me out of my neighborhood?

Because you don't think your kids are safe, and none of the other options are working? Seriously, is it just male pride that's keeping you from doing this? If none of the other options end up working, what's wrong with living in a safe environment? Is the future of your children's psyche really worth some juvenile contest of wills?

[wolf]

HP's PFA idea is VERY good. Not something I usually think about with respect to kids. Your son(s) should probably be the ones to file for it though, since they are the one being directly threatened. The PFA can include specific restrictions regarding contact while at school also.

(Escalation is not the answer here. For a lot of kids today, particularly the type that you are describing, there's a fine line that separates driving by someone's house and a drive-by ON someone's house.)

Moving isn't any fuckin' fun, juju, and perhaps he likes it just fine where he is.

Are you serious?

How about this: if these kids realize they can get their way through bullying (by pushing 'spode and family out of the neighborhood), <b>they will continue to do that the rest of their lives</b>.

[Elspode]

My children's psyches *are* important, and the most valuable lesson I can teach them through all of this is, when you are right, stand up for yourself and prove it via whatever means you have available.

I won't run and I won't hide. I have right on my side, and can muster might if so required...either financial, legal, moral, spiritual or...well, I have other alternatives, too.