France Nukes the USA

xoxoxoBruce · 07-19-2005, 06:17 PM

sproglet posted

Quote:

A lot of people make the mistake of underestimating the French.
They've got big bombs, the Foreign Legion and enough arrogance to use both.

This got me wondering, if France nuked an American target, even by accident, what would we do? What could we do?
Nuking France puts a lot of other countries in serious danger. Especially Briton, Spain/Portugal and the Low Countries, down wind from France.

What would Bush do?
What would a normal person do in his place?

lookout123 · 07-19-2005, 06:33 PM

define "by accident".

if they nuked us i think it is safe to say that we would wipe the frogs from the face of the earth. and we do not need nuk u ler weapons for that.

wolf · 07-20-2005, 12:30 AM

Biblical Justice??

The French are already Frogs ...

Mad Cow would count as a murrain in cattle ... did they have any cases there? (probably not a big issue since they'll eat horse).

Watch for more news on rivers turning to blood and taking of the firstborn sons.

xoxoxoBruce · 07-20-2005, 03:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lookout123

define "by accident".

if they nuked us i think it is safe to say that we would wipe the frogs from the face of the earth. and we do not need nuk u ler weapons for that.

Rogue General or missed the Raimbow Warrior would be an accident.
Obviously we couldn't just push a button and obliterate them because of colateral damage to friends.

07-20-2005, 06:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

sproglet posted
This got me wondering, if France nuked an American target, even by accident, what would we do? What could we do?

Send in the tanks. Why bother nuking them back? We outgun them with conventional weapons and I'm sure our boys would love a romp thru gay Paree as a sort of reward for all those tours they've been doing in Iraq.
Nuking France puts a lot of other countries in serious danger. Especially Briton, Spain/Portugal and the Low Countries, down wind from France.

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

What would Bush do?

Bush would invade Quebec and put its leading government officials on trial for crimes against humanity and cruelty to frogs for eating all those saute'd frog legs. There would be collateral damage to Calgary and Ottawa. When Canadians became upset about this, Bush would arrange for the Army to film a heart warming scene of a GI bandaging up the missing legs of a French Canadian school child who had thrown a spitball at a group of US soldiers at a checkpoint outside St Catherine's.

The French President, looking fit and tanned, would appear in a videotape just before the US 2008 election. He would demand the return of the Statute of Liberty. Nobody would be able to figure out where he was living in hiding, although a mountain looking suspiciously like the Matterhorn would be seen in the background.

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

What would a normal person do in his place?

Blow up all of Europe. The EU hasn't been very co-operative with us, anyhow. It's about time we taught them a little lesson in etiquette.

lookout123 · 07-20-2005, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Bush would invade Quebec and put its leading government officials on trial for crimes against humanity and cruelty to frogs for eating all those saute'd frog legs. There would be collateral damage to Calgary and Ottawa. When Canadians became upset about this, Bush would arrange for the Army to film a heart warming scene of a GI bandaging up the missing legs of a French Canadian school child who had thrown a spitball at a group of US soldiers at a checkpoint outside St Catherine's.

The French President, looking fit and tanned, would appear in a videotape just before the US 2008 election. He would demand the return of the Statute of Liberty. Nobody would be able to figure out where he was living in hiding, although a mountain looking suspiciously like the Matterhorn would be seen in the background.

y'know that is probably the funniest thing i've ever seen you post.

mrnoodle · 07-20-2005, 10:37 AM

And close enough to reality to actually scare me a little.

But shoot, all we have to do is stomp our foot like you do to get a dog out of your front yard, and the entire populace would collapse in incontinent fear. The UN would have to mobilize an emergency diaper drop.

xoxoxoBruce · 07-20-2005, 08:48 PM

Quote:

Send in the tanks.

All the tanks that were stashed in Germany have been sent to Afghanistan and Iraq.

Pi · 07-29-2005, 06:06 AM

You're arrogant racists...

lookout123 · 07-29-2005, 11:55 AM

and you are a humorless prick. drop the superiority complex.

wait a minute? racist? how? most of us are white - so how is talking about our "hatred" of another white culture racist? xenophobic, sure. racist, no.

Bullitt · 07-29-2005, 12:24 PM

Pi you need to take a chill pill hombre.. first the Boy Scout homophobia crap, and now the French..

"I fart in your general directiooon!"

lookout123 · 07-29-2005, 04:19 PM

that was Pie, not Pi. there are two different posters involved there Bullitt.

Bullitt · 07-31-2005, 08:10 PM

heh.. whoops, apologies

mrnoodle · 08-01-2005, 09:34 AM

I'd be surprised if anyone here nurtured an actual hatred of the French, Pi. It's more like a soccer rivalry, only for hygiene.

Pie · 08-01-2005, 12:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bullitt

Pi you need to take a chill pill hombre.. first the Boy Scout homophobia crap, and now the French..

What do you expect? Pi is irrational.

Pie, however, is great no matter how you slice it.
- Pie

07-19-2005, 06:33 PM	#2
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	define "by accident". if they nuked us i think it is safe to say that we would wipe the frogs from the face of the earth. and we do not need nuk u ler weapons for that. __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

07-20-2005, 12:30 AM	#3
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Biblical Justice?? The French are already Frogs ... Mad Cow would count as a murrain in cattle ... did they have any cases there? (probably not a big issue since they'll eat horse). Watch for more news on rivers turning to blood and taking of the firstborn sons. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

07-20-2005, 10:37 AM	#7
mrnoodle bent Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: under the weather Posts: 2,656	And close enough to reality to actually scare me a little. But shoot, all we have to do is stomp our foot like you do to get a dog out of your front yard, and the entire populace would collapse in incontinent fear. The UN would have to mobilize an emergency diaper drop. __________________ Sìn a nall na cuaranan sin. -- Cha mhór is fheairrde thu iad, tha iad coltach ri cat air a dhathadh

07-29-2005, 06:06 AM	#9
Pi desperate finder Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Luxembourg Posts: 437	You're arrogant racists... __________________ Complex simplex Last edited by Pi; 07-29-2005 at 06:28 AM.

07-29-2005, 11:55 AM	#10
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	and you are a humorless prick. drop the superiority complex. wait a minute? racist? how? most of us are white - so how is talking about our "hatred" of another white culture racist? xenophobic, sure. racist, no. __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

07-29-2005, 12:24 PM	#11
Bullitt This is a fully functional babe lair Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Akron, OH Posts: 2,324	Pi you need to take a chill pill hombre.. first the Boy Scout homophobia crap, and now the French.. "I fart in your general directiooon!" __________________ Kiss my white Irish ass.

07-29-2005, 04:19 PM	#12
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	that was Pie, not Pi. there are two different posters involved there Bullitt. __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

07-31-2005, 08:10 PM	#13
Bullitt This is a fully functional babe lair Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Akron, OH Posts: 2,324	heh.. whoops, apologies __________________ Kiss my white Irish ass.

08-01-2005, 09:34 AM	#14
mrnoodle bent Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: under the weather Posts: 2,656	I'd be surprised if anyone here nurtured an actual hatred of the French, Pi. It's more like a soccer rivalry, only for hygiene.

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