Is Trilby ok?

[infinite monkey]

I love his face! I want to kiss him right above his nose. Handsome feller.

[Nirvana]

Sweet!

[Sundae]

Tril he does look absolutely lovely. And that's from a card-carrying cat-person (does it still count if I made the card myself and it's drawn in crayon?)

No cat can ever replace Diz for me now. Doesn't mean I won't get another one - if I can get this alcofrolics thing licked I will certainly outlive him. Much as I mourned the loss of Dylan (and still do) I had a very similar cat already around to love me. Having been my one and only for a few years now, I know it will be so hard to lose him. And Autumn did leave in a very violent way (sorry if I make you cry there, hon.)

I guess I'm saying what the others are saying, but without the experience.
I left Gabriel and Raphael when I split with my husband. Hely already had a rehoming offer when I left London, and that was Diz's choice not mine - I literally could not keep both of them because he's not a sharer. Gerbils and fish and rabbits you can't cuddle don't count. I mean they do count in that they need love, respect and care, but they don't own a piece of your heart. Diz does. And that piece will numb when he dies.

But as has already been said - hearts are might large organs, and there's room for more in there, even if it's not exactly the same place.

[Trilby]

again, thank you all for your heartfelt, thoughtful comments.

Dana-you nailed it. I live in my head, too, (REALLY?!?!?! you are all asking yourselves about now) and Mr. Scout is a high energy level being who LOVES to chase my very favorite cat Spiderman which annoys me and frightens the cat. I don't want her hiding in the basement all day worried she'll be eaten. He just wants to play but he outweights her X 100. she acts like, "why did you do this? we were happy! Just US!" but I was heartbroken----still sorta am. I want a GOOD DOG not like the haphazard way we had them when I was growing up and dogs were, due to my dad, dogs and not pets but had to be useful and pull their weight (I'm surprised he let us have one at all but my sister, whom he likes, LOVES animals and he probably expected to have the dog bring game to the family table as if we needed it) and live mainly outside tied to a post in the yard. He asked me the other day while he was fixing the part of the fence that was broken "What's wrong with tying him to a tree? Is that a stupid idea?" and not in a nice way, either; in a You Think You're So Smart but I Have All The Money/Power way. He had dogs growing up and he says, proudly, 'we NEVER bought dog food!" so I guess they were strays who stuck around hoping for a chicken bone or something.

This experience has taught me a very important lesson: my abandonment issues are still with me full force; my father hates me really a lot more than I thought (which was a lot) I am rash and impulsive to the detriment of my own self though I've been working on it for it seems forever; I am impatient; and above all, I am tired.

thank you for allowing me to wallow in such self indulgent crapola and to let everything be about ME ME ME. The only person who has ever suffered on the face of the planet.

chuh.

[Trilby]

PS - please indulge me once more here: when I was ten my dad threatened, right in front of me, to kill my dog.

He's such a bastard I wonder why he lives at all. He gets zero enjoyment out of anything and he, like Mikey, hates everything. Nothing is ever "good" or "fine" - it's all just one big let down with him and his fucking Scottish blood. Nessie should come get his old hide.

[DanaC]

Parents can be such fuckups. I struck damn lucky with mine, but my Dad's parents were total fucks. Culturally so as much as anything else (boarding prep school from the age of 5, stern father who would never dream of expressing love and affection and who my Dad shook hands with when we visited etc etc).

As to whether it's a stupid idea to tie a dog to a tree and leave it there....well, if the number of dogs who end up strangling themselves to death whilst tied up unattended is anything to go by, yes, it's a stupid idea. I personally know of two people, one in rl and one on a forum, who lost dogs this way. And they weren't leaving them out there in any cruel way, just in good weather when they were working during the day.

It can work as an added bit of security if you are popping in and out and don;t want to be watching the dog like a hawk, but also want it to have that bit of freedom. But leaving a dog like that for extended periods unattended is dangerous.

[DanaC]

Oh he sounds a total charmer.



[eta] Tril, read Jon Ronson's The Psycopath test.

[limey]

Originally Posted by Trilby

... Mr. Scout is a high energy level being who LOVES to chase my very favorite cat Spiderman which annoys me and frightens the cat ...

Get a water pistol or squirty water bottle, fill it with water, and whenever, every time, he chases the cat say firmly "No!" and squirt him in the face, the eye preferably, when he chases the cat. Or if you're near enough, whop him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.
They'll settle down and sort themselves out one way or another, it's early days yet, but try the above.

[DanaC]

I wouldn't advise whopping on the nose with a newspaper. Depending on the dog's temperament and previous experience that could initiate aggression.

But the water pistol absolutely!

[Trilby]

water pistol it is! I've even got one~!

Dana---my dad insists on shaking hands with his own grandsons. He doesn't hug them.
when you thank him for anything he never says 'you're welcome' he only says, "Okay."

When he was a youngster he lit his little brothers PRIZED wooden airplanes (they were, literally, a dirt poor family) ON FIRE and threw them out the window. Just to be mean.

[Sundae]

I used a spray bottle, the same as they use in the hairdressers to re-wet your hair. Recommended by Monster. In the end I've "cured" his behaviour using this. I know now that when he wakes me for attention he is genuinely hungry or distressed.

Well. Distressed. Cat is as fat as a buttered naan.
But at least it's only 5 minutes before the alarm goes off, rather than 02.00.

[Clodfobble]

Someone told me recently that when a young dog nips you should push your hand forward instead of pulling back, basically deliberately gag them for a moment. She said it will make them stop biting very quickly. [/not a dog owner]

[DanaC]

Like with most things, it depends on the dog...and the owner :p Sometimes that can work well. But it can have the opposite effect: stop that particular bite, but then ramp up the tension/aggression. I've done it with Carrot at times. Pilau too.

Another way is to grab the base of their skull with your fingers in a clawlike shape, to mimic the feel of their mother's jaws.

There isn't a one size fits all. A lot of the stuff that worked with pilau, for instance, has the opposite effect on carrot and makes him aggressive instead of stopping the behaviour. With him I have to take a different tack. Something I am learning as we go along :p

[Sundae]

Me again. With no helpful dog info.

When the boys were young I used to grab them by their scruffs and shake them.
Or cuff them (LIGHTLY!) on the ear. And/ or hiss.
That's cat-mum behaviour. And it worked. I would never hurt a cat. Even if tempted to give a right walloping.

But cats are not pack animals and as Diz has grown with me, the mum-role doesn't work as well.
In cat terms he's now a senior, and has no other young males to moderate his behaviour.

Cats aren't designed to live with many other cats, unlike dogs. Both animals have backing down procedures, but male feral cats are more likely to find a new area; equally domestic cats fight over their territories because they are anchored to a certain place.

So Diz and I still have tussles about who is the owner and who is the slave.
Of course, I'm really the slave. But I can't let him know that.
Occasional water in face at night when I have to go to school the next day.
Because one of us has to work in order to buy beebles.

[monster]

Tril, glad you're ok, sorry your dad's a turd. I have no dog advice, but could post you a nice recipe -he looks quite tender