How to do things The Right Way™

Flint · 03-11-2009, 03:59 PM

Here's two I'm pretty sure about. Add your own.

Grill a Steak

Use a wood-handled 1” stiff wire brush to do a rough cleaning.
Thoroughly clean out the dust under the bottom grate to ensure maximum airflow.
Run out an extension cord, attached to an old hair dryer (will be retired/re-purposed).
Pile plenty of charcoal in a tight pyramid, with at least half a bottle of lighter fluid.
Fire it up and use the hair dryer to direct a cleaning cycle. Hit all corners of the grill.
Once the flames have died down a little, go over the grate thoroughly with the wire brush.
Manage the coal fire with the hair dryer. Keep the heat even. Get them WHITE HOT.
Have a perfectly-shaped stick to poke through the grate, spreading the coals evenly.
Dust off the grate with a whisk broom.
Wipe down the grate thoroughly with wet paper towels.
Coat the grate with as much olive oil as you can get to stick.
Throw the steaks on; ignore the flames.
Shut the lid; ignore the smoke pouring out.
Flip ONCE and ONLY ONCE with tongs (do NOT poke).
NEVER EVER cut the steaks to see if they are done.
The steaks should come out flame-seared on the outside, with a clearly delineated brown/pink/brown pattern revealed when cut.

Mix a Drink

Over-fill a short cocktail glass with ice cubes.
Fill the glass with tap water and shake until all the cubes just fit inside the glass.
This cleans the freezer burn off the cubes and ensures the glass is FULL of ice.
Drain the tap water, and add one half inch of clean filtered water.
This is known as “Wet Ice” and is the basis of a good drink.
Fill the glass with the straight, hard liquor of your choice.

Pico and ME · 03-11-2009, 04:06 PM

Yummmm, if you could pour me one of those drinks right now, that would be great.

SteveDallas · 03-11-2009, 04:07 PM

I'll give it a try, but . . . .

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint

Grill a Steak

Use a wood-handled 1” stiff wire brush to do a rough cleaning.

I don't see how this is going to help the taste of the steak. Wouldn't some kind of marinade, or tenderizer, be better?

Flint · 03-11-2009, 04:30 PM

I meant the cow.

Shawnee123 · 03-11-2009, 05:35 PM

Quote:

Pile plenty of charcoal in a tight pyramid, with at least half a bottle of lighter fluid.

This reminds of a Roseanne episode where Dan (John Goodman) was arguing with his buddies about the best way to arrange the coals in the grill. Dan insisted they'll end up all spread around so why not start with them all spread around, and his friend, a backseat griller, argued that if you stacked them in a pyramid they would heat up as a team. When Dan finally started to put the burgers on the grill his friend said it was too early; the coals weren't hot enough yet. Dan said "that's OK, I'm going to stack them in a pyramid so they'll cook as a team."

I'm trying to come up with something I know how to do The Right Way™ without just going through an OCD list. I'll get back to you.

Undertoad · 03-11-2009, 06:55 PM

The drink stuff is superstition. You gonna notice the ice when you're drinking 40 proof booze?

EVOO has a low smoke point. Better to use corn or canola in this matter.

Nirvana · 03-11-2009, 07:14 PM

How to Wipe Properly [for ladies]

1) Make sure the toilet paper roll is out not facing the wall to reduce the incidence of paint chips or splinters.
2) Wrap enough toilet paper around your hand to cover most of your forearm as well.
3) Start by going behind your back with your toilet paper wrapped hand.
4) Move your hand underneath and towards the front of your pubic area.
5) Bring your hand and arm back behind your back in a wiping gesture.
6) Unwrap paper and repeat.

Pico and ME · 03-11-2009, 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad

The drink stuff is superstition. You gonna notice the ice when you're drinking 40 proof booze?

EVOO has a low smoke point. Better to use corn or canola in this matter.

If you get the ice out of my mothers freezer, you will.

lumberjim · 03-11-2009, 08:49 PM

How to be an Asshole That People Like Anyway™

1. be lumberjim

2. don't be The Mercenary

TheMercenary · 03-11-2009, 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim

How to be an Asshole That People Like Anyway™

1. be lumberjim

2. don't be The Mercenary

Another Jim fantasy uncovered.

TGRR · 03-11-2009, 09:11 PM

How to get banned from freerepublic.com:

1. Reg an account, using a proxy.
2. Find the biggest right wingnut jackass on the board.
3. Say you knew him "back in 'Nam", "in his unit", etc, to match whatever claims he made.
4. Reminisce a bit. Be a little over the top, but do not jump the shark.
5. When his lame ass agrees with you, announce that you just made everything up, and that he's a fraud.
6. Post photoshopped pics of a naked Bea Arthur until a mod finally shows up (less than one minute, on average).
7. You have been banned from this site. Date ban will be lifted: Never.

TheMercenary · 03-11-2009, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TGRR

4. but do not jump the shark.

Stress Puppy · 03-11-2009, 09:20 PM

Why do you water down your booze?

capnhowdy · 03-12-2009, 06:43 AM

Lather
Rinse
Repeat

classicman · 03-12-2009, 08:59 AM

underwear
shirt
socks
pants
shoes

03-11-2009, 03:59 PM	#1
Flint Snowflake Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Dystopia Posts: 13,136	How to do things The Right Way™ Here's two I'm pretty sure about. Add your own. Grill a Steak Use a wood-handled 1” stiff wire brush to do a rough cleaning. Thoroughly clean out the dust under the bottom grate to ensure maximum airflow. Run out an extension cord, attached to an old hair dryer (will be retired/re-purposed). Pile plenty of charcoal in a tight pyramid, with at least half a bottle of lighter fluid. Fire it up and use the hair dryer to direct a cleaning cycle. Hit all corners of the grill. Once the flames have died down a little, go over the grate thoroughly with the wire brush. Manage the coal fire with the hair dryer. Keep the heat even. Get them WHITE HOT. Have a perfectly-shaped stick to poke through the grate, spreading the coals evenly. Dust off the grate with a whisk broom. Wipe down the grate thoroughly with wet paper towels. Coat the grate with as much olive oil as you can get to stick. Throw the steaks on; ignore the flames. Shut the lid; ignore the smoke pouring out. Flip ONCE and ONLY ONCE with tongs (do NOT poke). NEVER EVER cut the steaks to see if they are done. The steaks should come out flame-seared on the outside, with a clearly delineated brown/pink/brown pattern revealed when cut. Mix a Drink Over-fill a short cocktail glass with ice cubes. Fill the glass with tap water and shake until all the cubes just fit inside the glass. This cleans the freezer burn off the cubes and ensures the glass is FULL of ice. Drain the tap water, and add one half inch of clean filtered water. This is known as “Wet Ice” and is the basis of a good drink. Fill the glass with the straight, hard liquor of your choice. __________________ **************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio**

03-11-2009, 04:30 PM	#4
Flint Snowflake Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Dystopia Posts: 13,136	I meant the cow. __________________ **************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio**

03-11-2009, 06:55 PM	#6
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	easier to tear stuff down than build new The drink stuff is superstition. You gonna notice the ice when you're drinking 40 proof booze? EVOO has a low smoke point. Better to use corn or canola in this matter.

03-11-2009, 07:14 PM	#7
Nirvana Back in 10 Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 3,684	How to Wipe Properly [for ladies] 1) Make sure the toilet paper roll is out not facing the wall to reduce the incidence of paint chips or splinters. 2) Wrap enough toilet paper around your hand to cover most of your forearm as well. 3) Start by going behind your back with your toilet paper wrapped hand. 4) Move your hand underneath and towards the front of your pubic area. 5) Bring your hand and arm back behind your back in a wiping gesture. 6) Unwrap paper and repeat. __________________ Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind.

03-11-2009, 08:49 PM	#9
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	How to be an Asshole That People Like Anyway™ 1. be lumberjim 2. don't be The Mercenary __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

03-11-2009, 04:06 PM	#2
Pico and ME Are you knock-kneed? Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Middle Hoosierland Posts: 3,549	Yummmm, if you could pour me one of those drinks right now, that would be great.

03-11-2009, 09:11 PM	#11
TGRR Horrible Bastard Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: High Desert, Arizona Posts: 1,103	How to get banned from freerepublic.com: 1. Reg an account, using a proxy. 2. Find the biggest right wingnut jackass on the board. 3. Say you knew him "back in 'Nam", "in his unit", etc, to match whatever claims he made. 4. Reminisce a bit. Be a little over the top, but do not jump the shark. 5. When his lame ass agrees with you, announce that you just made everything up, and that he's a fraud. 6. Post photoshopped pics of a naked Bea Arthur until a mod finally shows up (less than one minute, on average). 7. You have been banned from this site. Date ban will be lifted: Never. __________________ What can we do to help you stop screaming?

03-11-2009, 09:20 PM	#13
Stress Puppy Elite Elitist Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Fresno, CA Posts: 359	Why do you water down your booze? __________________ ~Stress Puppy~ Mundus vult decipi, ergo decipiatur

03-12-2009, 06:43 AM	#14
capnhowdy Blatantly Homosapien Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 6,200	Lather Rinse Repeat __________________ Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.

03-12-2009, 08:59 AM	#15
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	underwear shirt socks pants shoes __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

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