About Abuse

[monster]

Originally Posted by Cloud

geez, I have to wonder if some of these posters are evening listening to themselves.

IKR Some of them say the same thing over and over as if with freqency comes truth.

[henry quirk]

Yes, it IS horseshit...to get your gherkin jerked by words on a screen written by folks you don't know is horseshit.

To conflate the shenanigans in the cellar (or any forum) with rape is horseshit (horseshit with the intent of causing 'reaction' instead of 'response').

If your feelings are hurt it's because you invest the words with meaning, not because the words have any meaning in and of themselves.

Again: grow up...or: get thee to a *nunnery.



*http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/nunnery

[casimendocina]

I've seen sibling who has one of the strongest spines I have ever come across and who is also exceedingly wise and non-confrontational at all times diffuse any number of potentially explosive situations by refusing to engage with the conflict rather than the person. Takes all types but the world needs people like this to prevent the small stuff escalating out of control and to bring the big stuff back into perspective so that it can be sorted.

[Pico and ME]

Originally Posted by Flint

And reciprocally intelligent people can accept honest commentary without perceiving it as delivered with "dick" intent. Logic places the burden of perception on the perceiver, NOT the deliverer.

This is the more adult world view...the more self-actualized. Unfortunately, for some people, (probably many) it is not always that easy to attain or even maintain, but always worth striving for. I have to admit, Flint, that your honesty is sometimes hard to take, but even though it can smart, I am able to see its worth. A little charm mixed in wouldn't hurt however.

[Flint]

Originally Posted by Pico and ME

This is the more adult world view...the more self-actualized. Unfortunately, for some people, (probably many) it is not always that easy to attain or even maintain, but always worth striving for. I have to admit, Flint, that your honesty is sometimes hard to take, but even though it can smart, I am able to see its worth. A little charm mixed in wouldn't hurt however.

Thank you for the feedback. Believe it or not, I put a great deal of effort into tact and diplomacy. Mincing words doesn't come naturally to me, and I understand that this can be a social liability. It's a constant struggle for me.

At some point, though, I do feel that simply accepting myself for who I am and seeing my traits as STRENGTHS is what has allowed me to enjoy a previously unimaginable level of success and happiness.

I attribute this to my wonderful wife who has always accepted and supported me for who I am, and with whom I have earned the privilege of participating in a completely open, honest relationship which many observers have identified as a rarity.

[Flint]

Originally Posted by casimendocina

... by refusing to engage with the conflict rather than the person ...

Take note of the fundamental quality of this thread: THERE IS NO "person" TO ENGAGE. Nothing but faceless conflict has been offered.

[infinite monkey]

Originally Posted by Flint

Thank you for the feedback. Believe it or not, I put a great deal of effort into tact and diplomacy. Mincing words doesn't come naturally to me, and I understand that this can be a social liability. It's a constant struggle for me.

At some point, though, I do feel that simply accepting myself for who I am and seeing my traits as STRENGTHS is what has allowed me to enjoy a previously unimaginable level of success and happiness.

I attribute this to my wonderful wife who has always accepted and supported me for who I am, and with whom I have earned the privilege of participating in a completely open, honest relationship which many observers have identified as a rarity.

Nicely said, Flint.

[lookout123]

Originally Posted by Flint

Thank you for the feedback. Believe it or not, I put a great deal of effort into tact and diplomacy. Mincing words doesn't come naturally to me, and I understand that this can be a social liability. It's a constant struggle for me.

At some point, though, I do feel that simply accepting myself for who I am and seeing my traits as STRENGTHS is what has allowed me to enjoy a previously unimaginable level of success and happiness.

I attribute this to my wonderful wife who has always accepted and supported me for who I am, and with whom I have earned the privilege of participating in a completely open, honest relationship which many observers have identified as a rarity.

I see a new career in the future for you Flint. I'm thinking you should take over writing acceptance speeches for awards shows.

[sexobon]

I dunno, after reading all 100+ posts in this thread, I've come to the conclusion that I still don't like the color scheme of the bars in the poll's response chart.

[Nirvana]

Logic places the burden of perception on the perceiver, NOT the deliverer.

Logic is not always readily available when people get emotional. Perception is in the mind of the beholder. That is a truth that will set you/anyone free.

If any dear poster on this forum decides I am an asshole/dick my feelings about it are unaffected. I realize, and pardon the ethnic vernacular, they don't know me! Now if a person that I am attached to emotionally has this comment to me I may attach my emotion to it and be pissed off. But I am the one that had the feeling about it one way or another and only I can turn this on or off.

[Cloud]

"Luke, remember your failure in the cave!"

[lookout123]

I still can't believe TW started this thread.

[Aliantha]

Originally Posted by Flint

And reciprocally intelligent people can accept honest commentary without perceiving it as delivered with "dick" intent. Logic places the burden of perception on the perceiver, NOT the deliverer. I am surrounded in my life by many intelligent people who prefer, who DEMAND, this arrangement.

Honest commentary is not what upsets me about monsters behaviour. It's the way she tries to make others feel small or stupid constantly.

I think almost everyone here is intelligent enough to know when they're being insulted and when they're being offered honest commentary.

This is not about differences of opinion. It's about someone running around the board being a bitch to the same people over and over again.

Personally what I find most disappointing is that Shawnee was never like that in the past. I don't know what's changed in her mindset to encourage her to be someone's lacky instead of thinking for herself. It's a shame. I used to hold her in high esteem.

[Flint]

What you just said sounds like :::ahem::: in my opnion, catty sniping. So even if what you say is objectively true--it includes you as well.

[Aliantha]

Gee Flint, I was just trying to be honest...

You may be right though. I guess it depends on your perception.

My intention was to point out what my problems are with monster's posts and to a secondary degree, to ask Shawnee why her own style seems to have changed so much.

To recap though. I don't believe you have to be a bitch to be honest, so suggesting that bitchiness is honesty is bullshit in my opinion.