How long did you date?

NZLcyclist · 04-20-2006, 03:32 AM

Ok so I've been dating a gorgeous and intelligent and sweet girl thats about 4 months younger than me (she turns 19 this week) and we've cracked that magical 1 year barrier. I'm in no dashing hurry to get married tomorrow, but I want to just compare some of your experiences of how long you took to get a ring on that finger yo! I am hoping to marry her if we stay together early to mid twenties.

So.... how long did u date before popping the question

and how long was the engagement.

Also... any of you get married on horseback or something to do with horses? SO is really into horses and I wouldn't mind this sorta thing

Cheers
Brendon

P.S. great site!

Beestie · 04-20-2006, 04:00 AM

I met my wife in February and popped the question in November. We were married the following April. That was 10 Aprils ago this year.

Best thing I ever did.

There's no real reason to keep staring at the calendar. If you are sure then make your move.

As far as getting married on horseback... I dunno... horses can surprise you sometimes and surprises are what you don't need at a wedding. I can think of several things right off the bat that would ruin everything but I'll spare you the visuals from my twisted imagination.

Maybe get married on the ground (outside) and instead of driving off in a car, ride off on horseback - now that would be cool.

Congratulations in advance!

Griff · 04-20-2006, 05:56 AM

We got there in about three years. You guys are pretty young so I'd just ride along for a while and see if you've got compatible dreams, no need to push things early. Enjoy what you have!

glatt · 04-20-2006, 08:09 AM

My wife and I dated for less than a year before we got engaged, and it was another year before we got married. That was about 15 years ago, and we are still going strong.

The tricky part is being sure you have the right person. Waiting until your early to mid 20s is a good idea. Take your time. That will give any incompatibilities a chance to make themselves know, and then you can make a more informed decision.

barefoot serpent · 04-20-2006, 09:45 AM

16 years, 4 months, 21 days (give or take an hour or two).

smoothmoniker · 04-20-2006, 09:52 AM

18 - 22 are maybe the most formative years of your life, especially if you're in college. The person you will be in 3 or 4 years will be so radically different than the person you are now, and so will she. Wait to see how those two people get along before you rock her finger.

Ok, end of lecture.

My wife and I dated for 2 years, but I knew after the first month. She took a little more convincing. We got engaged and then (and I highly recommend this) I left on tour for 6 months while she planned the wedding. I didn't have to pretend to have an opinion on china patterns for the reception, and she didn't have to pretend to be offended that I didn't care.

I got back into town 6 months later, got married 2 weeks after that, and it's been a pretty damn fantastic 7 years this August.

footfootfoot · 04-20-2006, 10:20 AM

sm's lecture is good advice. (am I surprised?) I proposed to SWMBO about 6 months after we started dating, which was 6 years after we met. I was also 36 at the time. I had flamed through a lot of relationships by that time, exorcising my demons, making bad choices, finally figuring a few key things out.

Obviously, you had a different upbringing than I did, and hopefully have less crazyness to undo, but as SM points out: you and your s/o will be significantly different people when you are 20,25, 30, etc.

Try a road trip of three months, see if you even want to speak to one another after that.

good luck

Pie · 04-20-2006, 01:15 PM

We met and started dating the first day of freshman orientation, got married the week after I finished my Master's. So 5.5 years... I'd echo SM's advice -- wait a few years, till your personalities, plans and outlooks have had a chance to crystalize.
Oh, and we've been married for eight years. I'm trying to think of something cool to do for our 10th anniversary -- Maui?

chainsaw · 04-20-2006, 05:14 PM

We met in Oct '99, started dating Dec '99, got engaged Mar '02, married May '03, been happy the whole darn time... Well, let’s not be crazy, MOST of the time.

Mr. chainsaw and I went to premarital counseling (advise of some family members) while we were engaged. We thought it couldn't hurt. We went to three sessions and realized we didn't have any major issues to work out and we got along very well. Honesty and openness are key. We're very alike in a lot of ways, but we have our times, like all married couples. Overall, we are super happy. Wow, that sounded cheesy.

There’s nothing wrong with a long engagement, but give yourselves a goal – 2 to 3 years, whatever fits you – AFTER dating for about 2 years. That’s just my opinion. Good luck, regardless.

twentycentshift · 04-20-2006, 07:01 PM

about 2 years. most that long-distance. she's from australia, and i am from texas. emails, phone calls, a few trips, and we made it. she's the very best thing to happen to me.

zippyt · 04-20-2006, 09:50 PM

Shack up with her for a while see if she can put up with the burping and farting ( and if you can from her ) ,
openess and honesty help make it work ,
also a few things my wife and I established befor we got married ,
1 ) when one party is being crasy ( guys or girls ) , being pissed off about some thing WAY stupid , the other has the right to say " Look , you are being crasy , we need to talk about this when we BOTH have calmed down "
2) Don't make any Major desions with out the others opinion .
3) That each of you has VETO power over the other , not malicious veto power , but well thought out and logical .

Just my 2 cents .

Kitsune · 04-21-2006, 03:36 PM

1 year as of some weeks ago. We're in no hurry, mostly because we have enough going on that a wedding isn't even feasible at the moment (school, etc).

Quote:

Originally Posted by zippyt

see if she can put up with the burping and farting

Heh. That would have been a much more interesting question: how long was it before you both felt comfortable farting around each other? The Japanese already know!

nmckenzie02 · 04-21-2006, 04:41 PM

i echo footfootfoot. take a good extended trip together to somewhere neither of you are familiar with; you're sure to find yourselves in some trying conditions. and if you want to vaguely simulate the experience of having children, take a puppy along with you. good luck, and don't forget to report back.

peace, nate.

----------------------------------------------------------
i belong to you, pass it on.

warch · 04-21-2006, 04:55 PM

About 13 hours.

Griff · 04-22-2006, 08:28 AM

Shorty is hot though. That makes all the difference.

04-20-2006, 03:32 AM	#1
NZLcyclist n00bl3+ Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Hamilton, New Zealand Posts: 13	How long did you date? Ok so I've been dating a gorgeous and intelligent and sweet girl thats about 4 months younger than me (she turns 19 this week) and we've cracked that magical 1 year barrier. I'm in no dashing hurry to get married tomorrow, but I want to just compare some of your experiences of how long you took to get a ring on that finger yo! I am hoping to marry her if we stay together early to mid twenties. So.... how long did u date before popping the question and how long was the engagement. Also... any of you get married on horseback or something to do with horses? SO is really into horses and I wouldn't mind this sorta thing Cheers Brendon P.S. great site!

04-20-2006, 04:00 AM	#2
Beestie -◊\|≡·∙■·∙≡\|◊- Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Parts unknown. Posts: 4,081	I met my wife in February and popped the question in November. We were married the following April. That was 10 Aprils ago this year. Best thing I ever did. There's no real reason to keep staring at the calendar. If you are sure then make your move. As far as getting married on horseback... I dunno... horses can surprise you sometimes and surprises are what you don't need at a wedding. I can think of several things right off the bat that would ruin everything but I'll spare you the visuals from my twisted imagination. Maybe get married on the ground (outside) and instead of driving off in a car, ride off on horseback - now that would be cool. Congratulations in advance! __________________ ♠ ♥ ♣ ♦

04-20-2006, 05:56 AM	#3
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	We got there in about three years. You guys are pretty young so I'd just ride along for a while and see if you've got compatible dreams, no need to push things early. Enjoy what you have! __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

04-20-2006, 09:52 AM	#6
smoothmoniker to live and die in LA Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 2,090	18 - 22 are maybe the most formative years of your life, especially if you're in college. The person you will be in 3 or 4 years will be so radically different than the person you are now, and so will she. Wait to see how those two people get along before you rock her finger. Ok, end of lecture. My wife and I dated for 2 years, but I knew after the first month. She took a little more convincing. We got engaged and then (and I highly recommend this) I left on tour for 6 months while she planned the wedding. I didn't have to pretend to have an opinion on china patterns for the reception, and she didn't have to pretend to be offended that I didn't care. I got back into town 6 months later, got married 2 weeks after that, and it's been a pretty damn fantastic 7 years this August. __________________ to live and die in LA

04-20-2006, 10:20 AM	#7
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	sm's lecture is good advice. (am I surprised?) I proposed to SWMBO about 6 months after we started dating, which was 6 years after we met. I was also 36 at the time. I had flamed through a lot of relationships by that time, exorcising my demons, making bad choices, finally figuring a few key things out. Obviously, you had a different upbringing than I did, and hopefully have less crazyness to undo, but as SM points out: you and your s/o will be significantly different people when you are 20,25, 30, etc. Try a road trip of three months, see if you even want to speak to one another after that. good luck __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

04-20-2006, 08:09 AM	#4
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	My wife and I dated for less than a year before we got engaged, and it was another year before we got married. That was about 15 years ago, and we are still going strong. The tricky part is being sure you have the right person. Waiting until your early to mid 20s is a good idea. Take your time. That will give any incompatibilities a chance to make themselves know, and then you can make a more informed decision.

04-20-2006, 09:45 AM	#5
barefoot serpent go ahead, abbrev. it Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Lawrence, KS Posts: 2,623	16 years, 4 months, 21 days (give or take an hour or two).

04-20-2006, 01:15 PM	#8
Pie Gone and done Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 4,808	We met and started dating the first day of freshman orientation, got married the week after I finished my Master's. So 5.5 years... I'd echo SM's advice -- wait a few years, till your personalities, plans and outlooks have had a chance to crystalize. Oh, and we've been married for eight years. I'm trying to think of something cool to do for our 10th anniversary -- Maui? __________________ per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.

04-20-2006, 05:14 PM	#9
chainsaw Wingnahningning... Er somethin' Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: 90802 Posts: 368	We met in Oct '99, started dating Dec '99, got engaged Mar '02, married May '03, been happy the whole darn time... Well, let’s not be crazy, MOST of the time. Mr. chainsaw and I went to premarital counseling (advise of some family members) while we were engaged. We thought it couldn't hurt. We went to three sessions and realized we didn't have any major issues to work out and we got along very well. Honesty and openness are key. We're very alike in a lot of ways, but we have our times, like all married couples. Overall, we are super happy. Wow, that sounded cheesy. There’s nothing wrong with a long engagement, but give yourselves a goal – 2 to 3 years, whatever fits you – AFTER dating for about 2 years. That’s just my opinion. Good luck, regardless. __________________ I have no life, so I watch movies.

04-20-2006, 07:01 PM	#10
twentycentshift change three times Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: texas Posts: 214	about 2 years. most that long-distance. she's from australia, and i am from texas. emails, phone calls, a few trips, and we made it. she's the very best thing to happen to me.

04-20-2006, 09:50 PM	#11
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	Shack up with her for a while see if she can put up with the burping and farting ( and if you can from her ) , openess and honesty help make it work , also a few things my wife and I established befor we got married , 1 ) when one party is being crasy ( guys or girls ) , being pissed off about some thing WAY stupid , the other has the right to say " Look , you are being crasy , we need to talk about this when we BOTH have calmed down " 2) Don't make any Major desions with out the others opinion . 3) That each of you has VETO power over the other , not malicious veto power , but well thought out and logical . Just my 2 cents . __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

04-21-2006, 04:41 PM	#13
nmckenzie02 Dry Nurse Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 23	i echo footfootfoot. take a good extended trip together to somewhere neither of you are familiar with; you're sure to find yourselves in some trying conditions. and if you want to vaguely simulate the experience of having children, take a puppy along with you. good luck, and don't forget to report back. peace, nate. ---------------------------------------------------------- i belong to you, pass it on.

04-21-2006, 04:55 PM	#14
warch lurkin old school Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Minnesota Posts: 2,796	About 13 hours.

04-22-2006, 08:28 AM	#15
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	Shorty is hot though. That makes all the difference. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

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