In Case You Were Wondering...

Elspode · 04-15-2003, 11:26 AM

From a local small town newspaper...Happy Easter!

wolf · 04-15-2003, 01:33 PM

Oooh ... that's right, it's time for my favorite Easter passtime ... going down to the mall, standing in the thick of the line for the photos with the Easter Bunny and shouting, "Wow! Look at all the christian children standing in line to get their picture taken on the lap of the pagan fertility symbol!!"

(I'm a big fan of any of the chocolate holidays.)

Elspode · 04-15-2003, 01:39 PM

I've been a Pagan long enough now that I actually find Easter a bit disconcerting this year. I keep going to Wal Mart and seeing all the bunnies and eggs and baskets and candy and I'm thinking "Why is all this stuff still out here? Ostara was *weeks* ago."

Elspode · 04-15-2003, 01:42 PM

And, as long as we're on the subject, a friend of mine told me this old saw the other day:

"Easter - The holiday when Jesus rolls away the stone and emerges from cave. If he sees his shadow, the Jews get 2,000 more years of bad luck!"

My apologies to those who I've offended...should be almost everybody, if my calculations were correct.

xoxoxoBruce · 04-15-2003, 04:16 PM

Quote:

"Easter - The holiday when Jesus rolls away the stone and emerges from cave. If he sees his shadow, the Jews get 2,000 more years of bad luck!"

You should be ashamed of yourself. You made me giggle like a little girl.

Elspode · 04-15-2003, 05:05 PM

"Then my work here is done!"
(Theme music swells. Elspode leaps upon his horse, racking himself dramatically on the saddle horn, and falls to the ground clutching his package. Cue credits.)

richlevy · 04-15-2003, 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Elspode
And, as long as we're on the subject, a friend of mine told me this old saw the other day:

"Easter - The holiday when Jesus rolls away the stone and emerges from cave. If he sees his shadow, the Jews get 2,000 more years of bad luck!"

My apologies to those who I've offended...should be almost everybody, if my calculations were correct.

Actually, if only jews and Christians are offended, you've only managed to offend 33.2 percent of the world.

http://www.religioustolerance.org/worldrel.htm

richlevy · 04-15-2003, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by richlevy

Actually, if only Jews and Christians are offended, you've only managed to offend 33.2 percent of the world.

http://www.religioustolerance.org/worldrel.htm

slang · 04-15-2003, 07:22 PM

He didnt rise from the dead to hunt Easter eggs. Hmmmm. What *did* he rise for......to carry a lamb on his shoulders?

The lamb looks a bit *too* happy about having his package on his shoulder too I might add. (sheepish grin)

Elspode · 04-15-2003, 08:11 PM

[quote]Originally posted by richlevy
"Actually, if only jews and Christians are offended, you've only managed to offend 33.2 percent of the world."

But I sort of figured that non-Christians and Jews are largely believers in religious tolerance, and that my joke would appear to be intolerant, therefore giving a big boost to my percentage offended.

However, I am not religiously intolerant, not even a little, and actually have a list of Pagan jokes around here somewhere...

wolf · 04-16-2003, 01:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by slang
He didnt rise from the dead to hunt Easter eggs. Hmmmm. What *did* he rise for......to carry a lamb on his shoulders?

The lamb looks a bit *too* happy about having his package on his shoulder too I might add. (sheepish grin)

You're just jealous ...

I think it's just easier to carry home that way, since Jesus obviously likes his meat fresh.

If he gets his dad to smote it, which certainly SOUNDS like it should involve a lighning bolt, does that mean that it gets cooked right away as well as dead?

wolf · 04-16-2003, 01:59 AM

Elspode
Seasoned NeoPagan

Gotta ask. What seasonings are recommended?

You're not one of those too much patchouli pagans are yah? I don't like going to their circles. Gives me a headache.

Elspode · 04-16-2003, 08:02 AM

Recipe for becoming a seasoned Pagan: Take several years of attempting to herd cats coupled with formation of doomed-to-fail groups and efforts at doing creative things with holier-than-thou individuals who think that everyone else sucks. Throw in a healthy handfull of spirituality and allow to simmer for ten years or so. Serves no one.

I am not one of those who wears a great deal of any smelly stuff, except lightly scented deodorant. My robes are flannel, and I tend to get very warm.

xoxoxoBruce · 04-16-2003, 05:24 PM

Quote:

I think it's just easier to carry home that way, since Jesus obviously likes his meat fresh.

What would PETA do?

Maybe that bunch of cows, struck by lightning, that UT posted awhile ago were smote by the father. Kinda fishes and loaves sort of thing.

04-15-2003, 11:26 AM	#1
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	In Case You Were Wondering... From a local small town newspaper...Happy Easter! Attached Images __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

04-15-2003, 01:33 PM	#2
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Oooh ... that's right, it's time for my favorite Easter passtime ... going down to the mall, standing in the thick of the line for the photos with the Easter Bunny and shouting, "Wow! Look at all the christian children standing in line to get their picture taken on the lap of the pagan fertility symbol!!" (I'm a big fan of any of the chocolate holidays.) __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

04-15-2003, 01:39 PM	#3
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	I've been a Pagan long enough now that I actually find Easter a bit disconcerting this year. I keep going to Wal Mart and seeing all the bunnies and eggs and baskets and candy and I'm thinking "Why is all this stuff still out here? Ostara was weeks ago." __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

04-15-2003, 01:42 PM	#4
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	And, as long as we're on the subject, a friend of mine told me this old saw the other day: "Easter - The holiday when Jesus rolls away the stone and emerges from cave. If he sees his shadow, the Jews get 2,000 more years of bad luck!" My apologies to those who I've offended...should be almost everybody, if my calculations were correct. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

04-15-2003, 05:05 PM	#6
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	"Then my work here is done!" (Theme music swells. Elspode leaps upon his horse, racking himself dramatically on the saddle horn, and falls to the ground clutching his package. Cue credits.) __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

04-15-2003, 07:22 PM	#9
slang St Petersburg, Florida Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 3,423	He didnt rise from the dead to hunt Easter eggs. Hmmmm. What did he rise for......to carry a lamb on his shoulders? The lamb looks a bit too happy about having his package on his shoulder too I might add. (sheepish grin) Last edited by slang; 04-15-2003 at 07:25 PM.

04-15-2003, 08:11 PM	#10
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	[quote]Originally posted by richlevy "Actually, if only jews and Christians are offended, you've only managed to offend 33.2 percent of the world." But I sort of figured that non-Christians and Jews are largely believers in religious tolerance, and that my joke would appear to be intolerant, therefore giving a big boost to my percentage offended. However, I am not religiously intolerant, not even a little, and actually have a list of Pagan jokes around here somewhere... __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

04-16-2003, 01:59 AM	#12
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Elspode Seasoned NeoPagan Gotta ask. What seasonings are recommended? You're not one of those too much patchouli pagans are yah? I don't like going to their circles. Gives me a headache. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

04-16-2003, 08:02 AM	#13
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	Recipe for becoming a seasoned Pagan: Take several years of attempting to herd cats coupled with formation of doomed-to-fail groups and efforts at doing creative things with holier-than-thou individuals who think that everyone else sucks. Throw in a healthy handfull of spirituality and allow to simmer for ten years or so. Serves no one. I am not one of those who wears a great deal of any smelly stuff, except lightly scented deodorant. My robes are flannel, and I tend to get very warm. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

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