Do you swear or curse or cuss around your offspring

chrisinhouston · 02-03-2015, 03:14 PM

Dealing with my grand kids family got me thinking about this topic recently.

I grew up in a household with 3 siblings, both parents and my father's parents. My grandparents were around from the time I was born until I was 18 and later at 24 when each of them passed away. They were British and I can only remember a couple of times hearing my grandfather loudly say "DAMN", mostly he noted displeasure with Dash It All or Bother! Never heard granny cuss.

Same with my parents, my dad probably said Damn or Dammit more than his father had. My father told me once that when he enlisted in the British Army not long after Hitler marched into Poland he spent time in basic training. Even though he at done the equivalent of ROTC he still had to fast track through basic. He told me on the first night lying in his bunk he heard the word Fuck used in ways he never had up until then and in ways that made no sense. My grandparents were pretty well off up until WWII. They weren't rich but well enough off and had servants and I think in those days it was more of a lower class thing to swear.

When my kids were little I occasionally would let out some choice words, usually after hurting myself while working on the car or the house. My exwife never used words like that, her parents were upstanding Republicans from Arcadia, an affluent suburb just outside of Los Angeles. My father in law had served as Mayor and they were very Catholic. Swearing never happened in their household or there would be a trip to the confessional at church and a lot of Rosaries said. My wife had a "cuss jar" for our kids. Some kind of jar that if the kids used a bad word they had to put some money in the jar. She got to spend the money, she never made me do it though. But she did divorce me later on...

So, do you ever curse around offspring? Just a little or a lot? Is is more of the kind I did like when you hit your thumb with a hammer while hanging a picture or is it more regular. Do you ever curse at the kids. Like. "Don't be a dipshit" or "Are you fucking kidding me?"

I did a bit of studying on it today and from what I could find on some blogs and forums it's pretty common and some "experts" say it's ok withing limits.

Clodfobble · 02-03-2015, 04:24 PM

We've made the distinction that there are no strictly "bad" words, only words that are inappropriate in certain times or places. In that way swearing is just part of the larger lessons we've had to work really hard on, like how it's inappropriate to say a teacher is stupid but okay to say a TV show is.

They have heard us--well, me actually--swear a couple times when I've hurt myself. We don't do it casually in front of them, but we have also made no effort to shield them from media with bad language in it. We tell them that if we hear them repeat it, we will know they are not mature enough to listen to it, and it will be taken away. On the other hand, we have taken away media, mostly internet videos, that wasn't actually using terrible language but was using it in an aggressive or sexist manner. It all boils down to intent, which I think is a more realistic lesson in life.

lumberjim · 02-03-2015, 05:20 PM

fucking right I do

infinite monkey · 02-03-2015, 07:05 PM

I agree with clobfobble that there is a time and place for 'bad' words. I can't be going into my job and saying "that's fuckin' crazy, man" and I know how to turn it on and off. I've never understood why somebody decided that one collection of letters is any worse than any other collection of letters.

BUT, I remember my dad, when we would fake cuss, most notably saying 'dang' "that sounds too much like 'damn.'" When we were little I think he was trying to reinforce good language...because 'dang' is a dumb word, and also making sure we didn't disrespect my grandma and grandpa by saying a word as stupid as 'dang.'

And I heard my parents cuss... but I learned it was something I could do later, if I felt so inclined.

Of course, as adults we don't stand around cussing, but we will use a collection of letters if it fits the context of the subject at hand.

classicman · 02-03-2015, 07:12 PM

I have adult offspring. They are all in their 20's now. We are Italian... colorful language along with the accompanying hand motions is sort of a requirement around these parts.

Chris, you're talking about young children - nope. no way. Not unless I hit my hand with a hammer or something, then all bets are off on what word(s) are gonna come outta my mouth.

monster · 02-03-2015, 07:55 PM

all the fucking time. We distinguish in the same way CF does. Hebe once helpfully told the preschool teacher -when the teacher dropped something- that that was called an "oh fuck"

footfootfoot · 02-04-2015, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

We've made the distinction that there are no strictly "bad" words, only words that are inappropriate in certain times or places. In that way swearing is just part of the larger lessons we've had to work really hard on, like how it's inappropriate to say a teacher is stupid but okay to say a TV show is.

They have heard us--well, me actually--swear a couple times when I've hurt myself. We don't do it casually in front of them, but we have also made no effort to shield them from media with bad language in it. We tell them that if we hear them repeat it, we will know they are not mature enough to listen to it, and it will be taken away. On the other hand, we have taken away media, mostly internet videos, that wasn't actually using terrible language but was using it in an aggressive or sexist manner. It all boils down to intent, which I think is a more realistic lesson in life.

I just posted something similar in funny and embarrassing things.

heh heh she said 'hard on'

Gravdigr · 02-09-2015, 05:05 PM

I don't have any offspring, but, I swear, cuss, and, curse around a lot of other people's offspring.

lawchong · 03-09-2015, 11:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

We've made the distinction that there are no strictly "bad" words, only words that are inappropriate in certain times or places. In that way swearing is just part of the larger lessons we've had to work really hard on, like how it's inappropriate to say a teacher is stupid but okay to say a TV show is.

Wholeheartedly agree with this!

lawchong · 03-09-2015, 11:18 PM

but don't you think the olden days were just more polite in general, or am I mistaken?

Clodfobble · 03-10-2015, 06:44 AM

If you were a white male, sure.

BigV · 03-10-2015, 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lawchong

but don't you think the olden days were just more polite in general, or am I mistaken?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

If you were a white male, sure.

QFT.

02-03-2015, 03:14 PM	#1
chrisinhouston Professor Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Houston TX Posts: 1,857	Do you swear or curse or cuss around your offspring Dealing with my grand kids family got me thinking about this topic recently. I grew up in a household with 3 siblings, both parents and my father's parents. My grandparents were around from the time I was born until I was 18 and later at 24 when each of them passed away. They were British and I can only remember a couple of times hearing my grandfather loudly say "DAMN", mostly he noted displeasure with Dash It All or Bother! Never heard granny cuss. Same with my parents, my dad probably said Damn or Dammit more than his father had. My father told me once that when he enlisted in the British Army not long after Hitler marched into Poland he spent time in basic training. Even though he at done the equivalent of ROTC he still had to fast track through basic. He told me on the first night lying in his bunk he heard the word Fuck used in ways he never had up until then and in ways that made no sense. My grandparents were pretty well off up until WWII. They weren't rich but well enough off and had servants and I think in those days it was more of a lower class thing to swear. When my kids were little I occasionally would let out some choice words, usually after hurting myself while working on the car or the house. My exwife never used words like that, her parents were upstanding Republicans from Arcadia, an affluent suburb just outside of Los Angeles. My father in law had served as Mayor and they were very Catholic. Swearing never happened in their household or there would be a trip to the confessional at church and a lot of Rosaries said. My wife had a "cuss jar" for our kids. Some kind of jar that if the kids used a bad word they had to put some money in the jar. She got to spend the money, she never made me do it though. But she did divorce me later on... So, do you ever curse around offspring? Just a little or a lot? Is is more of the kind I did like when you hit your thumb with a hammer while hanging a picture or is it more regular. Do you ever curse at the kids. Like. "Don't be a dipshit" or "Are you fucking kidding me?" I did a bit of studying on it today and from what I could find on some blogs and forums it's pretty common and some "experts" say it's ok withing limits.

02-03-2015, 04:24 PM	#2
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	We've made the distinction that there are no strictly "bad" words, only words that are inappropriate in certain times or places. In that way swearing is just part of the larger lessons we've had to work really hard on, like how it's inappropriate to say a teacher is stupid but okay to say a TV show is. They have heard us--well, me actually--swear a couple times when I've hurt myself. We don't do it casually in front of them, but we have also made no effort to shield them from media with bad language in it. We tell them that if we hear them repeat it, we will know they are not mature enough to listen to it, and it will be taken away. On the other hand, we have taken away media, mostly internet videos, that wasn't actually using terrible language but was using it in an aggressive or sexist manner. It all boils down to intent, which I think is a more realistic lesson in life. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

02-03-2015, 05:20 PM	#3
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	fucking right I do __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

02-03-2015, 07:12 PM	#5
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	I have adult offspring. They are all in their 20's now. We are Italian... colorful language along with the accompanying hand motions is sort of a requirement around these parts. Chris, you're talking about young children - nope. no way. Not unless I hit my hand with a hammer or something, then all bets are off on what word(s) are gonna come outta my mouth. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

02-03-2015, 07:55 PM	#6
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	all the fucking time. We distinguish in the same way CF does. Hebe once helpfully told the preschool teacher -when the teacher dropped something- that that was called an "oh fuck" __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

02-03-2015, 07:05 PM	#4
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	I agree with clobfobble that there is a time and place for 'bad' words. I can't be going into my job and saying "that's fuckin' crazy, man" and I know how to turn it on and off. I've never understood why somebody decided that one collection of letters is any worse than any other collection of letters. BUT, I remember my dad, when we would fake cuss, most notably saying 'dang' "that sounds too much like 'damn.'" When we were little I think he was trying to reinforce good language...because 'dang' is a dumb word, and also making sure we didn't disrespect my grandma and grandpa by saying a word as stupid as 'dang.' And I heard my parents cuss... but I learned it was something I could do later, if I felt so inclined. Of course, as adults we don't stand around cussing, but we will use a collection of letters if it fits the context of the subject at hand.

02-09-2015, 05:05 PM	#8
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	I don't have any offspring, but, I swear, cuss, and, curse around a lot of other people's offspring. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

03-09-2015, 11:18 PM	#10
lawchong father, LEGO enthusiast, foodie. Join Date: Mar 2015 Location: LA Posts: 4	but don't you think the olden days were just more polite in general, or am I mistaken?

03-10-2015, 06:44 AM	#11
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	If you were a white male, sure. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

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