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Old 04-07-2011, 11:01 AM   #1
SamIam
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Angry Revenge ideas needed!

Let me preface this little story by telling you all that I am very well aware of the importance of being on time - especially if I am the one who is supposed to open up in the morning. I do not believe my ADHD gives me a "get out of jail free card" over this issue. If you would like to write an essay on how everyone needs to be prompt and not show up late, please start a new thread and post your thoughts there. However, if anyone has any tips on getting places on time, I'd love to see them!

OK. This morning I simply couldn't wake up. I am a night owl, and my adderall makes this situation worse. I can seldom fall asleep before 1:00am or 2:00am in the morning. If I have to get up at 6:30am, I am just a mess. I barely can crawl out of my bed, I drink my coffee and stare off into space, thinking about all sorts of things, none of which have anything to do with getting to work on time. I have caught myself falling back to sleep, sitting upright on the sofa, coffee cup in hand.

Well, today was one of those mornings, and I got to work 10 minutes late which made me 10 minutes late opening up the motel. About a half hour after I got there, the owner showed up to collect yesterday's cash and deposit it in the bank. Apparently Motel Maintenance Man (3M) had zipped out of his room (3M lives at the motel, so HE's never late for work), and told the owner that I was late and that a potential customer had come to the door and left because it was closed.

I have a VERY hard time swallowing 3M's story. Anything is possible, but in the 6 months I've worked here I have NEVER had a customer check in before 9:00am. And only a few people have come THAT early. Housekeeping doesn't even finish cleaning up the rooms until noon; check out time is at 11:00am. I have had to tell early bird customers to come back later when we will have a room ready for them.

So, I think 3M told the owner some fairy tale just so he could twist the knife in my back a little better. Personally, I never would report a co-worker for being 10 minutes late - even if they were relieving me of my shift. I want to do something really mean to 3M. I always knew he was a jerk, and now I know he is an asshole in addition.

Right now, I'm having lots of revenge fantasies and feeling very frustrated over my inability to be consistantly on time for stuff - especially work. Not a good start to the day.

So, I came to the experts - The Cellar! I need you guys to help me out with creative revenge fantasies - the meaner the better!

Last edited by SamIam; 04-07-2011 at 11:07 AM.
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Old 04-07-2011, 11:07 AM   #2
monster
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Superglue his room door shut for a start. Get the lock changed while he's out
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Old 04-07-2011, 11:08 AM   #3
monster
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Put Nair in his shampoo.
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Old 04-07-2011, 11:10 AM   #4
monster
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(Set your clocks fast. Works for me, even though I know they are fast it still jolts me out of the door when I look up and see we're late already)
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Old 04-07-2011, 11:23 AM   #5
jimhelm
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be nice to him. befriend him. mean it.
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Old 04-07-2011, 11:28 AM   #6
monster
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put cling film over the toilet bowl
hide shrimp tails in the air conditioner
keep unfixing things he's fixed
put a banana in the tailpipe of his car
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Old 04-07-2011, 11:51 AM   #7
BrianR
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go into one unspecified room, take apart the sink faucet and break the O-ring between the hot and cold water. That'll keep him busy for months!
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Old 04-07-2011, 11:53 AM   #8
SamIam
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jimhelm View Post
be nice to him. befriend him. mean it.
Oh, grasshopper, since when have you become a Zen master? Actually, up to now, I have always tried to be friendly with him and make small talk and comment on what a good job he's done on the bedbugs in room 4.

His response to this has been to knife me in the back. I know all that crap about right living and praying for your enemies, but I have no patience with someone whom I now know is all too willing to do their worst given the chance. In fact 3M just came into the office, and I was so cool toward him, his big ol' bushy beard froze. Fuck him.

Keep going, Monster!
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Old 04-07-2011, 11:57 AM   #9
monster
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BrianR View Post
go into one unspecified room, take apart the sink faucet and break the O-ring between the hot and cold water. That'll keep him busy for months!
needs to be his room
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Old 04-07-2011, 12:01 PM   #10
footfootfoot
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FTW (permanently) mail a bag of dope from him to the wrong person including an inculpatory note. Maybe the name on the package is john doe but the address is the local cop shop. The note might include the mention of owed $ for previous sales...
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Old 04-07-2011, 12:02 PM   #11
monster
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hide alarm clocks all over his room set to go off every hour in the night.
put rice krispies in his bed.
put ads on craigslist with his phone number for bargains and for young blonde exchange-student tourists looking for a local guide to show them the hotspots....
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Old 04-07-2011, 12:03 PM   #12
Sheldonrs
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Fuck him in the ass and don't bother to thank him. Oh, wait, that's my revenge SEX idea.


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Old 04-07-2011, 12:05 PM   #13
monster
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place an ad with his address and room # asking for suplliers of viagra and extra small condoms....

there are many things to be achieved with local free ads

report him dui anonymously
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Old 04-07-2011, 12:05 PM   #14
monster
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give sheldon his number
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Old 04-07-2011, 12:06 PM   #15
monster
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Tell us your deep dark secret but don't tell him......
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