Tasteless Jokes - Page 30

Gravdigr · 09-20-2010, 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GunMaster357

Just to point out, i'm not racist. Racism is a crime and crime is for black people.

That's just wrong. Funny as hell, but wrong...

classicman · 09-28-2010, 09:06 PM

Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims..

"YOU MIGHT BE A MUSLIM IF..."

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun & $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean."

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.

10. Your cousin is president of the United States

Urbane Guerrilla · 09-30-2010, 02:39 AM

"The trouble with Obama jokes is Obama's supporters don't think they're funny and nobody else thinks they're jokes."

GunMaster357 · 10-11-2010, 06:34 PM

What's the difference between a virgin, a whore and a bitch?

Well, a virgin fucks with no one, the whore fucks with anyone....

...and the bith fucks with anyone....
... but you!

GunMaster357 · 10-14-2010, 08:00 AM

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary, 'Somewhere I haven't been for a long time' she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

GunMaster357 · 10-19-2010, 05:29 AM

What's the difference between an angry man and a gay Arab?

One of them is shaking a fist; the other is fisting a Sheikh.

footfootfoot · 10-19-2010, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GunMaster357

What's the difference between an angry man and a gay Arab?

One of them is shaking a fist; the other is fisting a Sheikh.

Great!

GunMaster357 · 10-20-2010, 05:30 AM

What do spinach and anal sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.

classicman · 11-22-2010, 08:19 PM

Mohamed's first day of school

Mohamed entered his classroom on the first day of school.

"What's your name?" asked the teacher.

"Mohamed," he replied.

"You're in America now," replied the teacher, "So from now on you will be known as Kevin."

Mohamed returned home after school.

"How was your day, Mohamed?" his mother asked.

"My name is not Mohamed. I'm in America and now my name is Kevin."

"Are you ashamed of your name? Are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!"
And his mother beat him.

Then she called his father, told him what happened and he beat him again.

The next day Mohamed returned to school. The teacher saw all of his bruises.

"What happened to you, Kevin? she asked.

"Well ma'am, shortly after becoming an American, I was attacked by two fuckin' Arabs

fo0hzy · 11-24-2010, 07:43 PM

A guy gets out of prison after two years. His wife and kids pick him up at the main gate.

The guy says to his wife, "F.F." His wife responds, "E.F." The man says, no "F.F." The wife says, "No way-E.F."

This goes on for about five minutes before one of the kids asks, " What the hell are you people talking about?"

The father responds " Your mom wants to eat first."

fo0hzy · 11-24-2010, 07:46 PM

What's red, screams and goes around in circles?

A baby with its foot nailed to the floor.

GunMaster357 · 02-14-2011, 06:32 AM

Two years ago, for Valentine's Day you gave her flowers. They lasted a day.
Last year, you gave her a box of chocolates. It lasted a week.
This year, give her herpes. It'll last forever.

GunMaster357 · 02-17-2011, 03:45 AM

Bob walks into his local pharmacy and the pharmacist say:
- "Hey there Bob, what can I get ya?"
- "A box of condoms" replies Bob.
- "Condoms?" says the pharmacist. "You and the wife having safe sex now.?"
- "Naw, there for my daughter" says Bob.
- "Your daughter?Cindy! Shes only 15. Your daughter is sexually active at 15?!" says the pharmacist.
- "Active! Hell no she isnt active" says Bob. "She practically just lays there!"

GunMaster357 · 03-23-2011, 07:48 AM

What's the difference between a whore and a pet shop seller ?

The whore can sell the same pussy more than once...

...provided that is has been cleaned

Undertoad · 03-23-2011, 02:22 PM

The Eagles announced on their FB page that ex-coach Buddy Ryan is battling cancer. I got on there and posted, "beat this like an offensive coordinator."

09-28-2010, 09:06 PM	#437
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims.. "YOU MIGHT BE A MUSLIM IF..." 1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor. 2. You own a $3,000 machine gun & $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes. 3. You have more wives than teeth. 4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean." 5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide. 6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against. 7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing. 8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs. 9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four. 10. Your cousin is president of the United States __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

09-30-2010, 02:39 AM	#438
Urbane Guerrilla Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Southern California Posts: 6,674	"The trouble with Obama jokes is Obama's supporters don't think they're funny and nobody else thinks they're jokes." __________________ Wanna stop school shootings? End Gun-Free Zones, of course.

10-11-2010, 06:34 PM	#439
GunMaster357 Professor Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Brest (FRANCE) Posts: 1,837	What's the difference between a virgin, a whore and a bitch? Well, a virgin fucks with no one, the whore fucks with anyone.... ...and the bith fucks with anyone.... ... but you! __________________ "War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce

10-14-2010, 08:00 AM	#440
GunMaster357 Professor Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Brest (FRANCE) Posts: 1,837	I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary, 'Somewhere I haven't been for a long time' she said. So I suggested the kitchen. __________________ "War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce

10-19-2010, 05:29 AM	#441
GunMaster357 Professor Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Brest (FRANCE) Posts: 1,837	What's the difference between an angry man and a gay Arab? One of them is shaking a fist; the other is fisting a Sheikh. __________________ "War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce

10-20-2010, 05:30 AM	#443
GunMaster357 Professor Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Brest (FRANCE) Posts: 1,837	What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you were forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult. __________________ "War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce

11-22-2010, 08:19 PM	#444
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Mohamed's first day of school Mohamed entered his classroom on the first day of school. "What's your name?" asked the teacher. "Mohamed," he replied. "You're in America now," replied the teacher, "So from now on you will be known as Kevin." Mohamed returned home after school. "How was your day, Mohamed?" his mother asked. "My name is not Mohamed. I'm in America and now my name is Kevin." "Are you ashamed of your name? Are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!" And his mother beat him. Then she called his father, told him what happened and he beat him again. The next day Mohamed returned to school. The teacher saw all of his bruises. "What happened to you, Kevin? she asked. "Well ma'am, shortly after becoming an American, I was attacked by two fuckin' Arabs __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

11-24-2010, 07:43 PM	#445
fo0hzy Dirty cigarette-smoking lowlife Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Michigan Posts: 85	A guy gets out of prison after two years. His wife and kids pick him up at the main gate. The guy says to his wife, "F.F." His wife responds, "E.F." The man says, no "F.F." The wife says, "No way-E.F." This goes on for about five minutes before one of the kids asks, " What the hell are you people talking about?" The father responds " Your mom wants to eat first."

11-24-2010, 07:46 PM	#446
fo0hzy Dirty cigarette-smoking lowlife Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Michigan Posts: 85	What's red, screams and goes around in circles? A baby with its foot nailed to the floor.

02-14-2011, 06:32 AM	#447
GunMaster357 Professor Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Brest (FRANCE) Posts: 1,837	Two years ago, for Valentine's Day you gave her flowers. They lasted a day. Last year, you gave her a box of chocolates. It lasted a week. This year, give her herpes. It'll last forever. __________________ "War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce

02-17-2011, 03:45 AM	#448
GunMaster357 Professor Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Brest (FRANCE) Posts: 1,837	Bob walks into his local pharmacy and the pharmacist say: - "Hey there Bob, what can I get ya?" - "A box of condoms" replies Bob. - "Condoms?" says the pharmacist. "You and the wife having safe sex now.?" - "Naw, there for my daughter" says Bob. - "Your daughter?Cindy! Shes only 15. Your daughter is sexually active at 15?!" says the pharmacist. - "Active! Hell no she isnt active" says Bob. "She practically just lays there!" __________________ "War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce

03-23-2011, 07:48 AM	#449
GunMaster357 Professor Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Brest (FRANCE) Posts: 1,837	What's the difference between a whore and a pet shop seller ? The whore can sell the same pussy more than once... ...provided that is has been cleaned __________________ "War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce

03-23-2011, 02:22 PM	#450
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	The Eagles announced on their FB page that ex-coach Buddy Ryan is battling cancer. I got on there and posted, "beat this like an offensive coordinator."

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)