My Family

[Sundae]

I thought I would start a new thread.
I intended to piggyback Ali's, but it seems unfair because she is in a very different position to me, and therefore I don't think the threads naturally blend.

Ali is stable and settled, with three bonny sons, a caring husband and a house. She is 12 weeks pregnant, sick as a dog and an experienced mother.

For those unaware, I am an Aunt to a 17 yo girl carrying twins.
There has been some family upset. No-one is rejecting her, but there is disappointment and anger.

We've had a fairly casual relationship, as my sister is not particularly fond of me. She veers from outright hostility to indifference most of the time. About once every five years I get a kind of tepid acceptance (this is my opinion - it may well be untrue).

Abs is having twin boys.
They are due in August, but twins are expected to be premature. Average weight 5.5lb (I've been researching!)

After the bombshell last weekend I've been keeping in touch with her.
Asking about scans, about Con (the bf - abbreviated but not hiding, they are both on Facebook) etc.
I might not be an obvious person to turn to - divorced Aunt living with her parents and no children. But for the short space she is in limbo with the family (between horror and delight) I hope I can help a little.

SO. That's the history out of the way.

The first one is of them at their first scan, so they're basically just blobs on a screen.

[Sundae]

And the other two I got on the 5th March, they couldn't get them both in the screen so it's both their heads seperately.

ETA I asked her specific permission to share the scans. She told me Con has shared them online so it's okay.

[Aliantha]

Nice. I think you'll enjoy this journey with your niece Sundae. Maybe it will help facilitate family harmony in more ways than one.

Good job.

xx

[infinite monkey]

The first one is of them at their first scan, so they're basically just blobs on a screen.

They're all blobs to me until they're about...2. Kidding, of course.

Seriously, twins...very exciting. A cow orker has triplet granddaughters. Two of them look exactly alike...how does that work? Two identicals and a fraternal? They're only 5 years old. Can you imagine how fun they must be?

Good Aunt, you are.

[limey]

I know you'll be a great support to your niece, Sundae!


Sent by thought transference

[Griff]

Is she expecting trouble or do you guys just do a lot more scans over there? Way back in the dark ages, when we were having kids, we (they) were minimizing ultra-sounds because of the unknown effect on developing fetuses. We had zero with little Pete and one with Lil' Griff.

[Sundae]

She's considered at risk. I think this might be to do with her age and size and the fact that it's twins. Certainly none of the pregnant women I knew in my 30s had scans that often.

[Clodfobble]

Last time I did it, the standard was one scan at about 6 weeks (or whenever you first came in) to confirm pregnancy, and count the number of fetuses. Then one at 20 weeks to check gender and look for any abnormalities. If there were problems at that point, you were likely to have frequent ones thereafter, but if not, you probably wouldn't have another one unless the doctor asked for one just before delivery, to measure the size of baby, or check presentation, or make sure there was enough amniotic fluid left if the baby was looking like it might go past 40 weeks.

[Sundae]

They're identical, so they share a placenta.
Twin males are least common apparently.

The growth of the womb needs to be checked frequently, as does the growth of the twins, to make sure it is even.

[Trilby]

Do you have any idea of possible names yet?

[Sundae]

Originally Posted by Brianna

Do you have any idea of possible names yet?

Bwahahahaha!
I have so many ideas for possible names! I might even have to sew my mouth shut.
From what I have gathered, the best way to irritate a pregnant member of your family is to offer names. Bear in mind I am trying to be Nice Auntie, before I am Great Auntie.

Originally Posted by limey

I know you'll be a great support to your niece, Sundae!

Careful how understanding you are. I'll get you and Monster making future heirlooms...

[Aliantha]

Having a multiple birth, even twins is considered high risk over here and they'll do many more scans.

[Sundae]

Got a text from my sister today to thank me for her birthday gift (that's okay, I bought it in the Sales when I was still working at Boots and got an extra 10% discount on top of the 50% reduction)

She also thanked me for "all my support" with Abs.
I knew they were too close for it to be a secret. Not that I intended it to be one, I just wanted her to have someone to be enthusiastic with. I just think Sissy isn't sharing everything with Mum at present. Her choice. I'm glad to be perceived as supportive anyway.

I suggested names. Blame Bri for goading me.
Abs actually likes Oscar! It was on her shortlist, but she says she might push harder for it now.
Bound not to make it, but I am just happy to have had it considered.

Liam seems to be a favourite so far.
Can't say I'm keen. But that's because I spend five afternoons a week saying it through gritted teeth...
James also a fave for a second name. Nice. Grandad's name.

[Aliantha]

Mav wants to name the next baby in our house Oscar, but Dazza doesn't like it, so I doubt it'll happen.

[Sundae]

Law and Abs came over today. After about 15 mins I suggested Abs might want to see something on the computer. I herded her off upstairs. She knew it would happen, Mum knew it would happen (and had suggested it).

I thought Law was going to paint Mum's toenails - she's hella better at the decoration than I ever was and does a near professional job for free. I ended up gifting her a lot of my Cellar prizes just because she uses them so well.

Abs & I had a chat and I started slowly, thinking we had at least 30 mins, and then Law was knocking at the door ready to go after 15, so a truncated session.

Anyway, showed her the bundle of clothes I have gathered. Some new without tags - unworn. Some donated and barely used. Some worn and with bobbling (very few) but all washed by me in Fairy Non-Bio and including Premie sizes as well as 0-3, which she won't reach for a while.

I explained she could discard them (pref to a charity shop) or stuff them away for emergencies if she wanted her own choice, but I am confident that with twins, the vests and sleepsuits I gave her will be handy at least.

She seemed genuinely happy.
But after she left, Mum said Laura had said, "We don't want anyone buying anything for her yet. It's too soon. You never know what might happen." While this is true, to me it is also a sign of denial. If the whole frigging lot goes to a charity shop I'd rather my neice thought someone cared before she slipped down the stairs.

No, I'm not cross.
Just a bit frustrated.

Reiterated to Abs that she has wonderful parents and I do not want to make them unhappy.
Said she could keep the clothes here as long as she wanted.
And if other larger items were bought (not by us) they could be stored here too as long as they weren't secrets.

And finally offered to host a baby shower here if she wanted one and it couldn't happen at home (Cellar advice, don't remember if it was Monster or Clod). Again I said my sister was to be as involved as she wanted.

Mum leaned over from behind me and gave me a kiss on the cheek tonight as I was typing away (not in the Cellar!)
She'd been talking to the evil witch who told her I was not depressed because I coloured my hair.
Witch said I was being very responsible and a great part of the family.
I don't forgive her, but at least she's talking sense for once.

And the kiss from Mum was wonderful.