11/30/2005: Stuck burglar

Undertoad · 11-30-2005, 06:20 PM

Today's entry comes from the Smoking Gun, and goddamn it's fun to laugh at moron criminals. In this case, this guy tried to rob a hair salon, but when the cops came, he tried escaping through the back window. I love it when a plan comes together. Sez the Gun,

Bleeding and wedged inside the 9-by-15-inch window frame, Dufield was rescued by Concord firefighters and later booked into the local lockup on a felony burglary rap. His case is pending in Concord District Court.

Mav · 11-30-2005, 06:38 PM

I'd definitely say that's a 2005 Darwin Award winner right there

Lucy · 11-30-2005, 08:03 PM

What a jaloone.

Elspode · 11-30-2005, 08:15 PM

Can't be a Darwin winner...he didn't die and remove himself from the gene pool.

Could be an honorable mention, though. He could possibly still be a winner if he decides to commit suicide in prison.

capnhowdy · 11-30-2005, 09:02 PM

seems like if he got his shoulders through the windows he would have made it. He must be a real lardass. He needs to grow some whiskers. What a dumb sumbitch. But then, what criminal isn't?

wolf · 11-30-2005, 09:16 PM

I love how he's cuffed although still stuck.

The reverse view might be amusing as well. Shooting him in the ass while stuck would be amusing, but doesn't seem sporting.

Under Florida's castle doctrine, I might have been able to shoot him. Here in Pennsylvania I have to be able to consider him a threat to my life.

In this position he's really only a threat to his own dignity.

Trilby · 11-30-2005, 09:16 PM

This guy is busting into a hair salon? He's risking life and limb and freedom for hair gel? Not me, no sir. They only thing I'd even consider breaking into would be a pharmacy.

xoxoxoBruce · 11-30-2005, 09:27 PM

For condoms?

Cyclefrance · 12-01-2005, 06:00 AM

They leave him there, cuff him, but put a band-aid on his cut - wierd!

Troubleshooter · 12-01-2005, 08:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elspode

Can't be a Darwin winner...he didn't die and remove himself from the gene pool.

Could be an honorable mention, though. He could possibly still be a winner if he decides to commit suicide in prison.

You don't have to die, just effectively remove your ability to taint the gene pool. Like the moron who used the shotgun as a club and shot his balls off.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darwin_Awards

capnhowdy · 12-01-2005, 08:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

For condoms?

dar512 · 12-01-2005, 08:57 AM

Sometimes I despair for our species.

joelnwil · 12-01-2005, 10:35 AM

"You don't have to die, just effectively remove your ability to taint the gene pool. Like the moron who used the shotgun as a club and shot his balls off."

Then there was the guy who put his balls in the ball washer at the golf course. He is out of the gene pool. Cannot find the story, though.

BigV · 12-01-2005, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dar512

Sometimes I despair for our species.

Don't despair, dar.

We *all* start out completely ignorant, and this guy just suffered the bad fortune to have his ability to get around mature faster than his ability to think through.

Cheer instead the fact that we don't just shoot him and leave him for dead. The cops, the medic, and the photographer represent the species too. Half full, dar, half full.

Neurotica · 12-01-2005, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by joelnwil

Then there was the guy who put his balls in the ball washer at the golf course. He is out of the gene pool. Cannot find the story, though.

It's an urban legend.

11-30-2005, 06:20 PM	#1
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	11/30/2005: Stuck burglar Today's entry comes from the Smoking Gun, and goddamn it's fun to laugh at moron criminals. In this case, this guy tried to rob a hair salon, but when the cops came, he tried escaping through the back window. I love it when a plan comes together. Sez the Gun, Bleeding and wedged inside the 9-by-15-inch window frame, Dufield was rescued by Concord firefighters and later booked into the local lockup on a felony burglary rap. His case is pending in Concord District Court.

11-30-2005, 08:15 PM	#4
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	Can't be a Darwin winner...he didn't die and remove himself from the gene pool. Could be an honorable mention, though. He could possibly still be a winner if he decides to commit suicide in prison. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

11-30-2005, 09:02 PM	#5
capnhowdy Blatantly Homosapien Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 6,200	seems like if he got his shoulders through the windows he would have made it. He must be a real lardass. He needs to grow some whiskers. What a dumb sumbitch. But then, what criminal isn't? __________________ Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.

11-30-2005, 09:16 PM	#6
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	I love how he's cuffed although still stuck. The reverse view might be amusing as well. Shooting him in the ass while stuck would be amusing, but doesn't seem sporting. Under Florida's castle doctrine, I might have been able to shoot him. Here in Pennsylvania I have to be able to consider him a threat to my life. In this position he's really only a threat to his own dignity. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

11-30-2005, 09:16 PM	#7
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	This guy is busting into a hair salon? He's risking life and limb and freedom for hair gel? Not me, no sir. They only thing I'd even consider breaking into would be a pharmacy. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

11-30-2005, 06:38 PM	#2
Mav Lurker Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 26	I'd definitely say that's a 2005 Darwin Award winner right there

11-30-2005, 08:03 PM	#3
Lucy Colloquialist Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Georgia Posts: 75	What a jaloone.

11-30-2005, 09:27 PM	#8
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	For condoms? __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

12-01-2005, 06:00 AM	#9
Cyclefrance Pump my ride! Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Deep countryside of Surrey , England Posts: 1,890	They leave him there, cuff him, but put a band-aid on his cut - wierd! __________________ Always sufficient hills - never sufficient gears

12-01-2005, 08:57 AM	#12
dar512 dar512 is now Pete Zicato Join Date: May 2003 Location: Chicago suburb Posts: 4,968	Sometimes I despair for our species. __________________ "Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." -- Friedrich Schiller

12-01-2005, 10:35 AM	#13
joelnwil Major Inhabitant Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Silver Spring MD Posts: 128	"You don't have to die, just effectively remove your ability to taint the gene pool. Like the moron who used the shotgun as a club and shot his balls off." Then there was the guy who put his balls in the ball washer at the golf course. He is out of the gene pool. Cannot find the story, though.

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