Ever wish you had a camera moment.

[zippyt]

I had one of those killer kodac moments today , i watched a rat snake catch , kill , and eat a small bird . It was truely grusem , but i couldn't help but watch . It would have made a Verry cool set of pics . Nasty i know ( i had tears running down my face after it was over ) , but it was one of those circle of life things you see every now and then if you are paying attention .

Ever have one of those Kodac moments that you WISH you had a camera in hand for ???

[xoxoxoBruce]

A bird huh, yucky. A least it wasn't a bear.

[In Hoc Signo Vinces]

This is more of a video camera moment.

I'm in the mall with the wife, and there's one of the local "gangsta wanna-bes" hassling people. He spies a little asian guy, about 50ish, not much over five foot.
Now, our villian of the piece is about 5' 6", and thinks he's the hottest thing since sliced bread. He walks over to the asian, and starts screaming "GIMME MONEY OR I'LL CAP YO ASS" (I hope I spelled that right).
The asian guy looks at him, blinks once, then lets loose with a roundhouse kick that had to bust every tooth in the assholes face.
I almost pissed myself.
Mall security (there's an oxy-moron) finally get the cops there, and arrest the gangsta.
One cop said "How many people beat the shit out of you, sir?"
God, I love it.

[breakingnews]

Those photos of the python devouring the kangaroo are still haunting me. My boss, too, who screamed when she opened the link.

[plthijinx]

Originally Posted by zippyt

Ever have one of those Kodac moments that you WISH you had a camera in hand for ???

OH YEAH! for instance, last september when i came around the bend at the farm with the two game wardens. the look on your face and everyone else's was classic!!

[Guyute]

LOL In Hoc- I had the same thing happen- I was in a fairly rough bar getting very hammered with a pal of mine. I knew all of the bouncers so we were not worried, and we like to listen to the live bands they always had.

There are 5 guys, all fairly well-built and 6' or so, about 15 feet away, all starting to be belligerent. The head bouncer, who is about 5'10", comes over and reasonably politely tells them (4 guys now as one went to make room for more beer) that it would be greatly appreciated if they slowed down on the booze and just enjoyed the band.

This is all right in front of the dance floor, so the whole bar can see them, so they were trying to show off. If they weren't so drunk, they should have wondered why this guy felt so confident confronting 4 guys alone? Because he is a 3RD DEGREE BLACK BELT in some very effective martial art! So one guy says, also very politely "Why don't you go fuck yourself, short-stuff".

He says "I'm not really in the mood right now, but I would appreciate it if you guys would stop harassing the waitresses or we will have to escort you out". The same loud-mouth and his buddy start to walk toward him and Loud-mouth says "I think you should..." then the bouncer elbowed him in the face, and I mean HARD, grabbed the second guy in a head lock, kicked the third guy in the knee, and asked the fourth guy if he felt like leaving. As he was saying this he was bending Mr. Headlock down so that his knees were bent and his back was arched, and the bouncer put his foot on Loud-mouth's head. This all happened in less than 3 seconds. The fourth guy is still absorbing that one guy just demolished his three friends, so he kind of stammers "Well, uhhh...." then 3 other bouncers descended on him and beat the piss out of him all the way to the door. It was truly a Kodak moment.

I didn't see this but it would have been classic- My wife's friend has a 16-year-old son who is almost a black belt, and he is a solid-looking 6'. He is walking around the less-travelled side of his school toward the bus stop, and right in the middle of the parking lot are 4 guys and 2 girls from a rival school just looking for trouble. This guy doesn't carry himself like a Jean-Claude Van Damme so they all descend on him and start heckling him and pushing him. He says to them "please stop, this is not the greatest move". So naturally the biggest guy pushes him down, so he gets up quickly and gives the big guy a shot to the face. The big guy says "HAHAHa Is that the best you can do?"

He says, "As a matter of fact, no" and gives the guy a spinning back kick that breaks his jaw and knocks out about 4 teeth. The guy goes down like he was shot, and the others all backed away, freaking out that they were next. People see this and rush over, then the jerk-offs tried to say he started it, because no other student saw the big guy push him down. The only thing that saved him from criminal charges and being expelled was that a teacher saw the whole thing from a second-story window.

I still laugh about that "as a matter of fact, no" bit.

[zippyt]

I didn't meen for this thread to be about kicking ass , i was thinking about those Golden moments or seconds that you WISh you could capture ,

Now as to ass kicking , a few come to mind ,
1) I went to summer school with Kang Ree's ( he tought Elvi all those moves ) son , a real quiet , genuinly nice guy ,,, some lunk heads desided since he was small and quite he was an easy target ,,, OH how WRONG they were !!!! It took the janitor a FEW days to clean up the blood !!!

2) In boot camp , A drill instructed asked " so who here thinks they can kick my ass ????" This little North Korean dude steped out , and procedded to whip his ass ALL up and down the squad bay !!!!!!!

3) A Verry raceist redneck on a job site was running his mouth , talking to an all black brick laying crew , saying stuff like " Hey BOY , Sling those bricks BOY !!! Lunch time came one day and he found himself left on the job site all by his lonesome , With the all black brick layers , when we got back from lunch they had RAM-SET( BIG nails driven in with a .22 blank ) him to a wall and beat him half to death with 2x4's

[mrnoodle]

Missed Kodak moment: We were driving around up in the mountains one Sunday and noticed a rabbit in the middle of the road in front of us. However, before we could decide whether or not to put on the brakes, an eagle swooped over us from behind and snatched the sucker out of the road. Literally 12 feet in front of us. You don't realize how fast those things dive unless you're in the glide path.

Second-hand asskicking story: Don't want to go into details, cuz I'm scared of the guy (he used to hunt poachers in Kenya on contract), but the best line ever spoken prior to delivering an assbeating came from him. "Mister, if you say one more word, I'm going to break you open like a shotgun on this craps table and sodomize you in front of all these fine people."

[OnyxCougar]

My favorite ass kicking line was delivered by a friend of a friend...

"I'm about to fold you up like a wallet."

[BrianR]

Best ass-kicking line ever: "I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum." From They Live.

[lookout123]

Brian - that is the greatest line ever delivered in a horrible movie.

[SouthOfNoNorth]

This Kodak moment made me almost want to go into photography not long ago. I'm still thinking about taking some classes. I was walking along Forbes Avenue (the main drag in Oakland, the college part of Pittsburgh) when an Indian woman turned the corner onto the street. She was dressed very professionally, and had her hair pulled back into a braid. It had just started to rain, only a light sprinkle. To cover her hair from the rain, she had taken her breifcase bag and was holding it on top of her head with one hand. It reminded me so much of those pictures you see in National Geographic where native women are carrying containers on their heads that I would have loved to get a picture of it. The fact that she was dressed like she was going to a business meeting made it even better.

Best pre-ass beating line I've ever heard (from a story an old co-worker told me):

This very large gentleman is in a bar drinking with his friends when an attractive woman comes up and starts talking to him. A few minutes later her boyfriend comes up and feels he needs to prove himself, so he starts talking trash to the guy. After a few moments of consideration, the big guy says:

"Buddy, if you don't leave me alone, I'm going to kill her and fuck you."

Fight ended before it started.

[BigV]

Recent "Wish I had a Video Camera Moment"

I was travelling toward the airport yesterday in my car on the highway along the path the airliners take on their final approach. As this Alaska Airlines jet began to descend toward the runway some ten miles away, he had to pass through some low light clouds. There was plenty of blue sky that day. When he came through the last cloud and into the clear, the edge of the cloud and the jetliner passed into blue sky. The tips of the wings seemed to pull the material of the cloud out after it, like threads being pulled from a knit shirt.

ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiipppp!

The pair of mini contrails stretched out from the cloud and connected to the trailing edges of the tips on the jet for 10 or 15 seconds and then broke off the wingtips. They stayed pointing toward the jet for another 10 to 15 seconds before dissolving. It was cool.

[glatt]

Yesterday I was walking home from work. Going down the center of one small residential street with no sidewalks, I noticed that the cracks in the street were a little wet. Then I realised that water was gently flowing out of the cracks. I stopped dead in the center of these cracks. I looked all around, and saw water seeping up out of cracks in the street all around me, and really gushing out of the ground in the grass just beyond the curb. I made a mental note of the address so when I got home I could call the county about the broken water main. I continued walking, and about two driveways later, I noticed the front end of the water running down the gutter, pushing a bunch of tree pollen in its path. I realized that the break had to have occured seconds before I got there for the water to have travelled such a short distance. I turned around, and looked back at the cracks behind me to look at the seeping water again. At this point, the water was shooting up out of the street about a foot into the air. It was pretty cool looking. Like a muddy fountain. I walked home rather briskly and called the county emergency water/sewer line.

This morning, on my way to work, there was a huge, crude patch where the water leak had been. There was mud everywhere. That's got to be a wretched job, standing in a hole full of muddy water trying to fix a broken water main. I bet those guys got paid well though, since it was after hours.

Anyway, I wish I had a camera with me.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Sure, I have those Kodak moments like everyone else. I console myself by thinking of the thousands I do have.....on slides....in the closet......that I never look at.

Best line, "please...I beg you...don't make me do this."