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Parenting Bringing up the shorties so they aren't completely messed up

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Old 11-19-2008, 08:43 PM   #1
binky
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How important is stuff?

How important are possessions to your kids? My 12 year old was never into anything material until this year (7th grade). Between her schoolmates, and her same ages cousins, it just seems awfully competitive to have the latest cell phone, Ipod, etc. How about in your family?
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Old 11-19-2008, 08:44 PM   #2
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BTW I grew up really poor, hand me down and thrift store clothes, no money for anything else, so may be a little sensitive to this issue.
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Old 11-19-2008, 08:46 PM   #3
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Yup - they started begging for all that crap till I told them they could have anything they wanted... as long as they paid for it themselves.
By the time they saved up enough money and split that which they earned with their "savings account. They wanted something else or realized they didn't want to part with all their own money for "it". Whatever "it" was at the time.
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Old 11-19-2008, 08:48 PM   #4
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For my boys, Aden loves his Xbox, and Mav loves his BMX bike. Besides that, they really don't seem to worry about their things too much. They share well. Even the particular items they love the most.

My kids have a lot more stuff than I ever did as a kid, but they have a lot less than lots of other kids.

Oh...one thing my boy Mav IS pretty particular about are his shoes. He really likes to have the exact right sports shoes. I'm not sure where that came from because no one else in the house has this attitude.

Aden likes wearing the crappiest clothes he can find (IMO). I'm not sure where that comes from either. lol The rest of us like to look decent.
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Old 11-19-2008, 08:50 PM   #5
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Yes it is odd how much less appealing stuff is when it needs to be paid for by them. My deal with the Ipod is I'll buy it for Christmas, and you pay for all the song downloads. As far as a new phone, right after me chickie!
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Old 11-19-2008, 08:54 PM   #6
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I grew up poor too Binky, but also we didnt have a lot of name brand stuff that were marketed as must haves back in the 70's (I think Nike started it), so Im just not into that need-to-have mentality. Nothing in my household is gotten because 'they just have to have it'. My stepson didnt get a cell phone until he got a job so that he could pay for his own minutes. Dad would like to give them whatever they want, whenever they want it, however.
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Old 11-19-2008, 10:03 PM   #7
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I'm not that into material things either, but I can remember being made fun of by the popular kids in junior high, so that is what I am trying to shield her from, while also teaching her that stuff really isn't as important as the kind of person you are.
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Old 11-19-2008, 10:47 PM   #8
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Middle school is just living hell, period. This is only one aspect of it.
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Old 11-19-2008, 11:12 PM   #9
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I grew up in Detroit, and if you had expensive shoes, for example, some other kid would kill you and cut it your feet off to get them.

But I hear things have gotten bad since then.
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Old 11-20-2008, 10:13 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by HungLikeJesus View Post
I grew up in Detroit, and if you had expensive shoes, for example, some other kid would kill you and cut it your feet off to get them.

But I hear things have gotten bad since then.
fo sure. now they kill you if yo babymama has nice shooz.
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Old 11-20-2008, 10:28 PM   #11
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it isn't,

but I suspect mostly because of the alternate "hippy" school they are in. i see it everywhere in the kids at other schools. they really wanted nintendo DS systems, but not because everyone has one, more because it looked fun. But they never asked or begged because they knew it was out of the usual price range (v. low for America). but grandparents together got Hebe one last christmas, and hector is hoping he's in line this year, but seriously won't be too bothered if it doesn't happen because she shares. And he sort of wants a big lego kit more. (aint gonna happen)

items they love most are legos and trains and certain stuffed toys for hector who is 9. his public persona is as a rebel and trend-setter. which rather suprised us. recently, he did ask for some new jammers (almost knee-length skin-tight lycra swim gear) that he could wear to school for swim practice rather than the regular shorts-type trunks. I kept asking him if he was sure he really wanted to wear such an item outside of the swim club. he was sure, and apparently now about half of the boys in the class wear them for school swim lesons

Thor doesn't care at all, but he's only 7

Hebe doesn't care much either

and yes, my shift key is not playing along tonight.
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Old 11-21-2008, 08:01 AM   #12
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Monster, I gotta say, I love your kids' names! Sorry... bit off topic, but wow.
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Old 11-21-2008, 08:07 AM   #13
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Stuff was very important; featuring the signature grooves of Steve Gadd, with longtime collaborators Richard Tee and Eric Gale (the same guys he backed Paul Simon with). They just released a live DVD: Stuff: Live at Montreux 1976
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Old 11-21-2008, 09:44 PM   #14
monster
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tx trea. their full names are listed somewhere for your viewing pleasure.
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Old 11-22-2008, 09:09 AM   #15
Griff
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Quote:
Originally Posted by binky View Post
How important are possessions to your kids? My 12 year old was never into anything material until this year (7th grade). Between her schoolmates, and her same ages cousins, it just seems awfully competitive to have the latest cell phone, Ipod, etc. How about in your family?
It isn't important to my girls, but we've noticed kids in their age group are increasingly stuff oriented. We've ducked the clothing aspect of it by sending them to schools with a dress codes. There is one kid in #2's class who spends inordinate amounts of time bragging about her stuff but she is so annoying it seems to be immunizing the other kids. (#2 did however just get a new drum kit...) #1 is passionate about her art, fencing, and school work and so doesn't have time/desire for gear without utility in those areas. I guess it is a question of cliques. #2 may be more susceptable to that than #1 but she can often go her own way.
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