What's the WORST song ever? - Page 5

melidasaur · 08-18-2004, 09:53 PM

Imagine listening to the Macarena and Mambo #5 over and over and over again - I once was in the same room as a faulty jukebox that really liked to play those two songs over and over and over again.

08-18-2004, 09:56 PM

AAAARGH! Not The Macarena! I'd forgotten the damn thing and now it will be playing in my head all night. I'll get you for this!

wolf · 08-19-2004, 12:00 AM

I have tried very, very hard to repress that memory. Particularly of AlGore "dancing" to it.

Thankyouveryfuckingmuch.

Tigana · 08-19-2004, 02:05 AM

ooops!

Heck of a way to make my first impression, but you have to admit if thats not the worst it's in the top 10 maybe even the top 5 !

jdbutler · 08-19-2004, 08:39 AM

Do You Love As Good As You Look
Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor On The Bedpost Overnight?
Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life
Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed
Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart
Heaven's Just A Sin Away
Her Body Couldn't Keep You Off My Mind
Her Cheatin' Heart Made A Drunken Fool Out Of Me
Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
Here's A Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares
How Can A Whiskey That's 6 Years Old Whup A Man That's 33?
How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You
know I've Been A Liar All My Life?
I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral
I Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me?
I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
I Don't Know What Came Over Me (When I Came All OverYou)
I Don't Know Whether To Come Home Or Go Crazy
I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
I Don't Want Your Body If Your Heart's Not In It
I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me
I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.
I Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With A 2
I Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except Mine
I Just Bought A Car From The Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car
Don't Run So I Figure We Got An Even Deal
I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
I Knew I'd Hit Rock Bottom When I Woke Up On Top Of You
I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well
I May Be Used (But Baby I Ain't Used Up)
I Meant Every Word That He Said
I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better
I Wanna Whip Your Cow
I Wish I Were In Dixie Tonight, But She's Out Of Town
I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!
I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
I Wouldn't Take You To A Dog Fight Even If I Thought You Could Win
I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy
I'll Get Over You As Soon As You Get Out From Under Him
I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonite
I'm Gettin' Gray From Being Blue
I'm Gonna Hire A Wino To Decorate Our Home
I'm Havin' Daydreams About Night Things In The Middle Of The Afternoon
I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life
I'm Not Married But The Wife Is
I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here
I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised
I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
I've Got Four On The Floor And A Fifth Under The Seat
I've Got Red Eyes From Your White Lies And I'm Blue All The Time
I've Got Tears In My Ears From Lying On My Back In My Bed While I Cry Over You
I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line
If Drinkin' Don't Kill Me, Her Memory Will
If Fingerprints Showed Up On Skin, Wonder Whose I'd Find On You
If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now
If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body, Would You Hold It Against Me?
If It's Got To Be Later, How 'Bout Later Tonight?
If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You
If She Puts Lipstick On My Dipstick, I'll Fall In Love
If The Jukebox Took Teardrops I'd Cry All Night Long
If The Phone Don't Ring, Baby, You'll Know It's Me
If Whiskey Were A Woman I'd Be Married For Sure
If You Can't Feel It (It Ain't There)
If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone
else Who Will
If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
It Ain't Love But It Ain't Bad
It Don't Feel Like Sinnin' To Me
It Takes Me All Night Long To Do What I Used To Do All Night Long
Learning To Live Again Without You Is Killing Me
Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
May The Bird Of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose
My Every Day Silver Is Plastic
My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus
My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your DearJohn Was Breaking My Heart
My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him
Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You
Oh, Lord! It's Hard To Be Humble When You're Perfect In Every Way
Out Of My Head And Back In My Bed
Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill
Please Bypass This Heart
She Feels Like A New Man Tonight
She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft
She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart
She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty
She's Out Doing What I'm Here Doing Without.
Swing Wide Your Gate Of Love
Tennis Must Be Your Racket 'Cause Love Means Nothin' To You
Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone
The Last Word In Lonesome Is "me"
There Ain't No Waste In My Baby's Love Canal
They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out
Touch Me With More Than Your Hands
Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
What Made Milwaukee Famous (Has Made a Loser Out of Me)
When We Get Back To the Farm (That's When We Really Go To Town)
When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In
Who You Gonna Believe, Me Or Your Lying Eyes?
You Can't Deal Me All The Aces And Expect Me Not To Play
You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too
You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd
You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat
You Hurt The Love Right Out Of Me
You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life
You're A Cross I Can't Bear
You're Ruining My Bad Reputation
You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

Cyber Wolf · 08-19-2004, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jdbutler

The Best of the Worst Country-Western Song Titles...

Wow...as detailed as some of these titles are, who needs to hear the song?

99 44/100% pure · 08-19-2004, 12:41 PM

jdbutler, are these compiled on a site somewhere? Or are you just amazingly fastidious to present them in alphabetical order for us? Funny stuff there, thanks!

BTW, my mom used to sing the "chewing gum" song to us -- I had know idea it was a REAL song, much less C&W!

ladysycamore · 08-31-2004, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf

I have tried very, very hard to repress that memory. Particularly of AlGore "dancing" to it.

Thankyouveryfuckingmuch.

LOL sorry to be late on this one, but as I read it, I was reminded of my cousin's wedding where at the reception, the whole wedding party was on a stage (yes!) LEADING the guests in doing the Macarena (sp??). Oh lawd what a memory, but the wedding overall was a blast.

Griff · 08-31-2004, 07:00 PM

The kids earned a trip to TGI Fridays for their successful behavior mod. I don't know if it's always like this but it was all eighties. Some pretty cool old tunes were played but when they ran out a George Michaels / Laura Branigan one two punch, I had to leave the table

wolf · 08-19-2004, 12:46 PM

I think "Chewing Gum" was pop rather than country, actually.

"I'm Going to Hire a Wino" is one of my favorite songs.

And I hate country.

footfootfoot · 08-25-2004, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Another song that sends me into a blind rage - McArthur Park. I hate that song!

my sister once arrived at her 8:00am math class in HS to see the words to this song written on the blackboard, by the teacher who was in a frothing rage, screaming at the students: "DON'T EVER LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU!"

Out of curiousity, I transcribed the song to see if I could divine some message that I should be warned against. No idea.

Terri Gross had Jimmy Webb (the perpetrator) on the other day and they chatted about the song. She failed to extract any useful info either.

As far as the math teacher goes I think they didn't had the really cool meds we have now...

FYI:
Written By: Jimmy Webb

Spring was never waiting for us, girl
It ran one step ahead
As we followed in the dance
Between the parted pages and were pressed
In love's hot, fevered iron
Like a striped pair of pants

MacArthur Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!

I recall the yellow cotton dress
Foaming like a wave
On the ground around your knees
The birds, like tender babies in your hands
And the old men playing checkers by the trees

MacArthur Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!

[break]

There will be another song for me
For I will sing it
There will be another dream for me
Someone will bring it
I will drink the wine while it is warm
And never let you catch me looking at the sun
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
You'll still be the one

I will take my life into my hands and I will use it
I will win the worship in their eyes and I will lose it
I will have the things that I desire
And my passion flow like rivers through the sky
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
You'll still be the one
And I ask myself "why?"

[break]

MacArthur Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!
Oh, no
No, no
Oh no!

However,
NOTHING is as bad as Cher's stirring "gypsies, tramps and thieves" You might as well say beetlejuice beetlejuice beetlejuice.

Elspode · 08-26-2004, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

Terri Gross had Jimmy Webb (the perpetrator) on the other day and they chatted about the song. She failed to extract any useful info either.

It should be pointed out, though, that Jimmy Webb is one of the great pop songwriters of all time, if sales are any indication. That, and I have a long-held, even if grudging, respect for him.

We do one of his songs in my band..."The Last Unicorn", originally performed by America for the soundtrack of the animated filim of the same name.

"Chewy, Chewy" by 1910 Fruitgum Company, the flipside of "Green Tambourine"...now *there's* a bad song.

footfootfoot · 08-27-2004, 02:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elspode

It should be pointed out, though, that Jimmy Webb is one of the great pop songwriters of all time, if sales are any indication. That, and I have a long-held, even if grudging, respect for him.

We do one of his songs in my band..."The Last Unicorn", originally performed by America for the soundtrack of the animated filim of the same name.

"Chewy, Chewy" by 1910 Fruitgum Company, the flipside of "Green Tambourine"...now *there's* a bad song.

True =Webb, and it should also be pointed out that because of the afforementioned math class incident the song has attained a dimension that I find priceless so I really enjoy it in a very perverse way. (well not like that) esp the version by the four tops. I think they could sing the phone book and I'd listen to it.

and in shame I drop my head and admit to owning the album with chewy chewy on it. What can I say? I was only seven and a "latch–key kid."

THERE SHOULD BE LAWS!!!

Tomas Rueda · 08-27-2004, 12:01 PM

Ever heard those songs that have no tune at all, played in the whole scale? (C,D,E,F#,G#,A#,C) such as Debussy's Clair de Lune and such?

Elspode · 08-27-2004, 12:52 PM

Dude...Clair de Lune, and most anything else by Mssr. Debussey, is incredible. I have like five different rendtions of just that one piece.

Wolf, tell him...tell him Tomita's version is mind bogglingly great.

08-18-2004, 09:53 PM	#1
melidasaur Traded your soul for pogs. Join Date: May 2004 Location: Champaign, IL Posts: 646	Imagine listening to the Macarena and Mambo #5 over and over and over again - I once was in the same room as a faulty jukebox that really liked to play those two songs over and over and over again. __________________ I love England, what can I say?

08-19-2004, 12:00 AM	#3
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	I have tried very, very hard to repress that memory. Particularly of AlGore "dancing" to it. Thankyouveryfuckingmuch. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

08-19-2004, 12:41 PM	#7
99 44/100% pure Infrequently Astonished Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Baltimore metro area Posts: 324	jdbutler, are these compiled on a site somewhere? Or are you just amazingly fastidious to present them in alphabetical order for us? Funny stuff there, thanks! BTW, my mom used to sing the "chewing gum" song to us -- I had know idea it was a REAL song, much less C&W! __________________ Overcompensating for the 0.56% that is irredeemably corrupted.

08-31-2004, 07:00 PM	#9
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	The hit or miss eighties. The kids earned a trip to TGI Fridays for their successful behavior mod. I don't know if it's always like this but it was all eighties. Some pretty cool old tunes were played but when they ran out a George Michaels / Laura Branigan one two punch, I had to leave the table __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

08-19-2004, 12:46 PM	#10
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	I think "Chewing Gum" was pop rather than country, actually. "I'm Going to Hire a Wino" is one of my favorite songs. And I hate country. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

08-18-2004, 09:56 PM	#2
marichiko Guest Posts: n/a	AAAARGH! Not The Macarena! I'd forgotten the damn thing and now it will be playing in my head all night. I'll get you for this!

08-19-2004, 02:05 AM	#4
Tigana Resident-in-Training Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 7	ooops! Heck of a way to make my first impression, but you have to admit if thats not the worst it's in the top 10 maybe even the top 5 !

08-19-2004, 08:39 AM	#5
jdbutler If ya cant take a joke, Effya! Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Pittsburgh, PA Posts: 288	The Best of the Worst Country-Western Song Titles: Do You Love As Good As You Look Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor On The Bedpost Overnight? Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart Heaven's Just A Sin Away Her Body Couldn't Keep You Off My Mind Her Cheatin' Heart Made A Drunken Fool Out Of Me Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure Here's A Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares How Can A Whiskey That's 6 Years Old Whup A Man That's 33? How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away? How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You know I've Been A Liar All My Life? I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral I Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me? I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life I Don't Know What Came Over Me (When I Came All OverYou) I Don't Know Whether To Come Home Or Go Crazy I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling I Don't Want Your Body If Your Heart's Not In It I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart. I Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With A 2 I Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except Mine I Just Bought A Car From The Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don't Run So I Figure We Got An Even Deal I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You I Knew I'd Hit Rock Bottom When I Woke Up On Top Of You I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well I May Be Used (But Baby I Ain't Used Up) I Meant Every Word That He Said I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better I Wanna Whip Your Cow I Wish I Were In Dixie Tonight, But She's Out Of Town I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck! I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win I Wouldn't Take You To A Dog Fight Even If I Thought You Could Win I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy I'll Get Over You As Soon As You Get Out From Under Him I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonite I'm Gettin' Gray From Being Blue I'm Gonna Hire A Wino To Decorate Our Home I'm Havin' Daydreams About Night Things In The Middle Of The Afternoon I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life I'm Not Married But The Wife Is I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart I've Got Four On The Floor And A Fifth Under The Seat I've Got Red Eyes From Your White Lies And I'm Blue All The Time I've Got Tears In My Ears From Lying On My Back In My Bed While I Cry Over You I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line If Drinkin' Don't Kill Me, Her Memory Will If Fingerprints Showed Up On Skin, Wonder Whose I'd Find On You If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body, Would You Hold It Against Me? If It's Got To Be Later, How 'Bout Later Tonight? If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You If She Puts Lipstick On My Dipstick, I'll Fall In Love If The Jukebox Took Teardrops I'd Cry All Night Long If The Phone Don't Ring, Baby, You'll Know It's Me If Whiskey Were A Woman I'd Be Married For Sure If You Can't Feel It (It Ain't There) If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone else Who Will If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too? It Ain't Love But It Ain't Bad It Don't Feel Like Sinnin' To Me It Takes Me All Night Long To Do What I Used To Do All Night Long Learning To Live Again Without You Is Killing Me Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head) May The Bird Of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose My Every Day Silver Is Plastic My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your DearJohn Was Breaking My Heart My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You Oh, Lord! It's Hard To Be Humble When You're Perfect In Every Way Out Of My Head And Back In My Bed Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill Please Bypass This Heart She Feels Like A New Man Tonight She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty She's Out Doing What I'm Here Doing Without. Swing Wide Your Gate Of Love Tennis Must Be Your Racket 'Cause Love Means Nothin' To You Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone The Last Word In Lonesome Is "me" There Ain't No Waste In My Baby's Love Canal They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out Touch Me With More Than Your Hands Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart What Made Milwaukee Famous (Has Made a Loser Out of Me) When We Get Back To the Farm (That's When We Really Go To Town) When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In Who You Gonna Believe, Me Or Your Lying Eyes? You Can't Deal Me All The Aces And Expect Me Not To Play You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat You Hurt The Love Right Out Of Me You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life You're A Cross I Can't Bear You're Ruining My Bad Reputation You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly __________________ Phineas J. Twunt

08-27-2004, 12:01 PM	#14
Tomas Rueda Master of the Domain Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Beaumont Tx 77701 Posts: 229	Ever heard those songs that have no tune at all, played in the whole scale? (C,D,E,F#,G#,A#,C) such as Debussy's Clair de Lune and such? __________________ Tom@s _____Rueda

08-27-2004, 12:52 PM	#15
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	Dude...Clair de Lune, and most anything else by Mssr. Debussey, is incredible. I have like five different rendtions of just that one piece. Wolf, tell him...tell him Tomita's version is mind bogglingly great. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

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