Macaroni & Cheese

[Clodfobble]

I've officially had it with macaroni & cheese recipes. I have tried, I really have. I don't want to make "food" from a box, I want to make relatively healthy meals with real ingredients that did not have to be hydrogenated to any degree. But thus far, every time I have tried it has come out grainy and bland. I know that a smooth, cheesy cheese sauce is possible; it must be. And every couple of months I get suckered in by a new recipe that claims to be "the creamiest," not to mention the kids' favorite, deluxe, incredibly rich, or some other combination of accolades which all inevitably turn out to be lies.

Just this weekend I tried one that included sour cream and cottage cheese, once again fooled into thinking this one could be different, that somehow these smoother dairy products were the key that I'd been missing. Not so. It was the foulest and grainiest of them yet. I even used that halfway-house of cheeses, American, rather than have my trust betrayed by cheddar once agan.

So screw you, real cheese, in all your varieties. It's a shame to let Velveeta win, but there's nothing I can do about it when the rest of you persist in sucking so hard.