What gives you hope for us all?

[warch]

Ok, just in time for the holidays....
We've talked about what offends and ticks us all off. So what experiences have you had that give you a glimmer of hope? What ecentric people have reconfirmed the wonderful strangeness of life? What's just made you smile?

One of my favorites: I was supervising some 8-10 year old boys as they played a rough game of ball tag. Playground dynamics can be fascinating. The leader, an alpha boy named Eamon, was getting ticked off at this younger, prone to crying and refusing-to-be-called-out kid. As it got a bit outta hand, I tried to respect the playground justice system, yet still get Eamon to include the little kid- "give him a break, he's trying, he's had a rough day" and the line that automatically came out of my mouth (in my own mother's voice), "extend the hand of kindness."

Play resumed for about 5 minutes when I turned to find a dramatic Eamon, poised on the top of the tower of the playscape, clutching the ball, red faced, raising his fist and slowly shouting between clenched teeth to the dumb struck rabble below " I AM TRYING TO EXTEND THE HAND OF KINDNESS!"

Of course, then all hell broke loose. but, ah, a great image -the eternal struggle.

[Dygytyz]

What gives me hope is that it is still possible, as evidenced by your story, to become a smart-ass at an early age. I am reminded of myself - not atop some symbolic tower but rather sitting at my desk - telling my teacher that "Yes, I would like to get up in front of the class and teach because we'd all be having a lot more fun if I were."

However, I don't think that Eamon got grounded for his remark. So long as there's one smart-ass in the crowd, the world will be just fine.

My friends make me smile. They're the most important thing in my life. They are, in no particular order:

-Jen, my sister. The biggest pain in my ass but the closest friend I have. She's flying home tonight from California. I honestly don't know what I'd do if her plane crashed or was hijacked or anything like that. I guess it's the love a brother has for his younger sister.

-Jenni, known to Cellarites now as "jennofay". She always makes me smile She's absolutely the most adorable person I know. I feel really fortunate to have thrown things at her in Science Research oh so long ago.

-Andrea, who I met on WBS forever ago. She makes me happy just by being. I'm definitely glad that her and I stumbled upon each other.

-Megan. She kinda found me. It's a long story, more than I'd ever care to tell. But she does make me smile.

Little acts of kindness. You don't see them too often anymore. I generally don't get them too often, but I try to give as much as I can, and I think we all should do that. I remember one time when I was coming home from work and was waiting to get on a bus that used to be free with a metro transfer. Well, the bus driver told me "It's 25 cents now." I had no change, but I really needed to catch this bus (or wait an hour for the next one). I stepped off the bus and looked around. Not really many people, except this older black man. I asked him, "Sir? Can you spare a quarter? I need one to get home." He dug through his pockets and finally found one, and smiled as he gave it to me. Something about it just hit me the right way, and I pulled out my wallet and gave him a dollar back. He got a huge smile on his face. That made me feel good. People smiling at complete strangers, just for exchanging some small favors.

When I was down in Mississippi, on my last day, Scott and I ate at a little family-owned barbeque shop. After eating, I asked the woman for a glass of ice so I could get some water. She handed it to me, and I asked "Do I owe you anything?"

"Just a smile" was her reply. Well, I couldn't control it. I smiled. So did she. That made me feel good. I'll definitely eat there again next time I'm down there.

I like seeing old couples together and happy. That inspires me. I'm not talking 60's or something - 80's, 90's. Walking down the street holding each other's hands. That's what I want to have. That makes me happy. That gives me hope.

Originally posted by Dygytyz
However, I don't think that Eamon got grounded for his remark. So long as there's one smart-ass in the crowd, the world will be just fine.

That smartass is me.

[warch]

Now Eamon sure is a smart-ass and sharp-witted, but what made that scene so great was that he really WAS sincerely trying to extend that God damn hand and he was shouting not in a mocking way, but in a grand, almost Shakespearean monologue. (tears of frustration in his eyes!)

[jaguar]

-Jenni, known to Cellarites now as "jennofay". She always makes me smile She's absolutely the most adorable person I know. I feel really fortunate to have thrown things at her in Science Research oh so long ago.

Now thats an interesting pickup tactic :p

Positive people who are inteligent, take for example allot of people at Taking It Global .

[Undertoad]

What gives me hope for us all: <i>nothing</i>. I take my cues from Carlin: individual humans are OK, humanity can go fuck itself.

[elSicomoro]

I am a firm believer in the words of Voltaire, from Candide. Candide went to hell and back, and put up with more shit than any of us would even think of going through. But he never lost his belief--"I do believe this is the best of all possible worlds."

Given everything that has happened this year, I still believe that this is the best world in which to live. The photos that Tony posted from other countries in the aftermath of September 11th reaffirmed this. For that moment, people around the world were mourning, not as Americans or Britons or Ugandans, but as human beings. It's unfortunate that it took something of such magnitude to bring us to this point, but at least we got there, if only for a moment.

[warch]

individual humans are OK, humanity can go fuck itself.

which is perhaps the primal reason individual humans interact with humanity anyway...but what (else) do humans get from/give to community?

[lisa]

Just reading this thread made me realize how we seem to become the most human and most likable when things are at their worst -- Sept 11 and the pictures mentioned are a prime example.

Some of my best hope in the human race came from my experience on a suicide hot-line that I volunteered at for 3 years (ending a couple of years ago).

Although desperate and, mostly isolated (emotionally, if not physically), many of the people who called often gave me, ironically, the most hope in humanity in a long time.

They were some of the most considerate and compassionate people I'd ever talked to. A friend proposed the sad theory that perhaps that was the very problem -- that they were isolated because they were considerate and compassionate. I don't know.

I do know that, in some cases, I feel like the world may be a better place because some of those people called and decided not to carry out whatever plans they had.

Either way, it did make a big difference in my life to emotionally connect with so many strangers when we live in a world where everyone walks around so guarded. When people call that line, usually, their "walls" are almost all gone, a state that I believe few of us almost ever achieve other than with those that we know and trust incredibly well.

It seems that when we are at our worst, situationally, we are often at our best, in compassion and humanity.

Basic human nature contains elements of complete selfishness and cynicism, but it also seems to contain incredible trust and compassion -- it's just the specific situations that bring out one or the other.

A friend, whom my daughter had never met, stopped by my house one day and my (then 18 month old) daughter ran right up to him, put her arms up and said "up!" -- indicating that she wanted him to pick her up. He complied, laughing "She just trusts immediately, doesn't she?"

I simled, then immediately started crying. In response to my friend's puzzled look I replied, "You're right... and I just realized that someday, not too long from now, I will have to teach her not to do that." It just saddened me realize that I will have to destroy that pure image of the world to her for the sake of her own safety.

Though apparently contrary to the purpose of this thread, this story fits in one way. The fact that it seems to be her nature to trust and connect is one of the things that gives me hope in humanity. While I may have to teach my daughter to be cautious, I also hope that I can help her maintain some faith in people and herself.

[Griff]

It always comes back to the kids. My girls were in the Christmas pageant at their school. The talent on display was impressive. In a small K-8 school they had kids who could sing, act, and play instruments in a positive supportive enviroment. One little boy started to solo on the wrong song and really lost his confidence but when he got back to his seat one of his buddies gave him some encouragement and had him laughing in a few seconds. After the show, we went to the classrooms to pick up the kids and my 7 year old ran and jumped into my arms as if she hadn't seen me in a week. With kind, loving individuals like these coming up through the ranks, I think the world will keep getting better and better.

[Undertoad]

<i>what (else) do humans get from/give to community?</i>

I've gotten a lot from the community.

When I was a kid they were hell-bent on beating me up or humiliating me. They were very effective, leaving me psychologically scarred for life.

As I got a little older, they were more interested in just seeing me fail in some way. But they didn't come right out and say this. They were discreet about it.

I told them I was lonely and they told me I was unacceptably desperate.

I figured out some truths and offered them, and they called me wacky and dismissed me.

I offered my valuable talents, and they told me I should be more oriented around how they operate.

I offered my love and they told me I was a dangerous stalker.

I offered my support and they told me it meant I held them in low regard.

I offered my friendship and they took advantage of me and cut me down.

I offered my insights and they ignored me.

I mortgaged my future to offer my goods for sale and they told me they have no use for such things.

I told them I needed help and they offered something that looked like help, but was not, at a very high hourly rate.

I told them their years of torture had left me unable to deal with them, and they offered me a pill to take, which did not really help but left me emotionally void, partially impotent, unmotivated, and caused tremendous weight gain causing me to no longer recognize myself. This weight gain, in turn, caused my family and friends to systematically put me down in the name of support.

I said enough, already! and went into my house and closed the garage door and closed all the blinds and rarely come out, and humanity seems happy with me at this point. Now we get along. Of course I am careful to not say anything meaningful to the neighbors. I have mastered the meaningless smalltalk that is required when the neighbors want to talk with me. That keeps them at bay. But I know that, if they knew what I was up to, they'd call the cops and have me put away in a moment's notice. Along with yet more brutalization.

So individual humans may be okay, but humanity can go fuck itself.

[juju]

Originally posted by sycamore
I am a firm believer in the words of Voltaire, from Candide. Candide went to hell and back, and put up with more shit than any of us would even think of going through. But he never lost his belief--"I do believe this is the best of all possible worlds."

I think Voltaire was making fun of people who thought that. Have you read Candide?

[Griff]

Tony, As I read that I was trying to figure out what it is people call community. Professional helpers are not community because it costs them nothing when we fail. If someone gives us their time as a neighbor then it is at least intended to help, misguided though it may be. Maybe your neighbors are just trying to make themselves feel better with their mostly symbolic approaches but if you crack the door a little maybe folks can start to understand the betrayal and abandonment, you express. We are all different from and the same as our neighbors, we just emphasize different parts of our reality. Maybe the Cellar is more human than the neighborhood, people feel free to express their truth to one another without having to go through that symbolic across the kitchen table stuff where first impressions, looks, and mannerisms mean so much. Maybe this is some expression of Galts Gultch where folks can follow through on what drives them without the shackles of society... I dunno just thinking out loud.

[warch]

I offered my insights and they ignored me.

T, I beg to differ. I dont claim the mantle of all humanity, just one other person, but your insights have effected me profoundly for a long long time. Years. You have no idea! You offer your insights that challenge, support, tickle, anger and expand me. I can't ignore you, don't want to - I seek out your thoughts and thank you for not completely closing that garage door before I could throw something under it.

Maybe the Cellar is more human than the neighborhood, people feel free to express their truth

There is an interesting freedom in this sort of community- an anonymity and at the same time, there is this bit of risk- you're in text- laying your thoughts right out there, daring to be dumb, for whatever audience. Its a different social dance...