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Old 03-29-2006, 09:58 AM   #1
RobertLevin
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No Stars For The Eclipse

One weathercaster called it a “must-see light and shadow show by the Old Master Himself,” but I can’t say this last solar eclipse was worthy of the recommendation. Not even total, and staged (in my location anyway) behind a thick cloud cover that served only to diffuse the vivid contrasts essential to any dramatic effect, the “Old Master” might have been faxing it in from deep space somewhere for all the incandescence it could claim. Quite frankly, as light shows go, I thought more interesting work was being done at the Electric Circus back in the '60s.

Now let’s please not have any misunderstandings. I’m aware that I’m criticizing the performance of a venerable figure who, over the eons and in every conceivable form and category, has compiled an impressive oeuvre. If I have to confess that a lot of His stuff is not to my taste, that I find much of it heavy-handed or impenetrable (when, indeed, it is not distracted and slack), this doesn’t mean I’ve failed to recognize the enormous contribution He’s made.

I’m thinking, of course, of the models some of His stunning manipulations of the more volatile natural elements provided for the Irwin Allen disaster films. And, to be sure, there’s His introduction of death itself which, brilliantly counterbalancing His earlier invention of genders and sex, forestalled the unwieldy prospect of twenty-thousand expansion teams in just the American League East (and, say, the 2006 playoffs extending well into the 2018 season). But that’s hardly been the limit of this remarkable innovation’s reach and impact. In its absence, "Scream 2," which everyone agrees was even better than "Scream," would doubtless have languished in perpetual turnaround since filmgoers would have found the emotions of fear and panic depicted in the original much too weird and elusive for a sequel to ever be greenlighted.

What’s more, we can be reasonably certain that the popular denouement of the “happy ending”—the product of an inevitable backlash—would never have been developed.

So while it’s often, for me, like feeling obliged to respect whatever that was that Marcel Marceau used to do, even as you knew that one more minute of it and your lungs were going to erupt with blood, I’m more than prepared to honor the “Old Master’s” achievements. It’s just that I’m not what you’d call a huge fan. What puts me off most is...well...it’s His LORDLY attitude. I could forgive Him a lot—yes, even those tedious revivals of His wind-and-water specials that take out half a state—were He less disdainful of His audience, less willfully opaque and ambiguous. I know this “mysterious ways” thing is a cornerstone of His persona and I can understand His reluctance to give it up. But, bordering on the pathological, His aversion to making His meanings known is wearing a little thin, don’t you think?

I’ll allow that, however disappointing it may be, it’s ultimately of small consequence when He mounts a shoddy eclipse. But it’s something else again when, for one especially egregious example, He leaves you to blow out all your circuits trying to figure just where Hannity and Colmes fit into the notion that if you’re on the planet it’s for a reason.
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Old 03-29-2006, 10:05 AM   #2
Undertoad
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Bravo man, your best post so far.
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Old 03-29-2006, 11:06 AM   #3
Buddha
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You are correct, Robert, the Dude really doesn't live up to the hype. It's kind of like the scene in the Wizard of OZ where Toto pulls the curtain back to reveal an old fart pushing the levers on some clumsy machine.

Its all about the willing suspension of disbeleif (or belief) of someone reading a sci-fi novel - only on a massive scale, and the readers don't re-enter reality when they close the book - be it the Koran or the Bible or what have you. Your essay points out nicely the cognitive dissonance that arises on a global scale when humanity walks around in such a state of mind.

Well, whatever gets you through the night, or the eclipse, as the case might be. I personally have witnessed some spectacular celestial pyrotechnics that may or may not have been put on display for the amusement of myself and others, but I have learned to leave the doings of the stars to the heavens, and the plight of mankind to man.

It works for me.

Namaste'
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Old 03-29-2006, 11:08 AM   #4
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.
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Old 03-29-2006, 05:03 PM   #5
wolf
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Hope you don't get carpal tunnel from the repetitive cutting and pasting motions.

2002

2003

etc., etc., etc.
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Old 03-29-2006, 06:12 PM   #6
marichiko
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wolf
Hope you don't get carpal tunnel from the repetitive cutting and pasting motions.

2002

2003

etc., etc., etc.
Why doesn't this surprise me? I wonder what fame he hopes to acquire by reposting this stuff on the Cellar? Hey, I bet the AG'ers would adore his posts, though!
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Old 03-29-2006, 09:14 PM   #7
xoxoxoBruce
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But the piece is very good.....like a rerun of M.A.S.H. it bears repeating.
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Old 03-29-2006, 09:24 PM   #8
Kagen4o4
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this guy is getting annoying. he see's things but never really looks beyond them to the deeper meaning. im not talking about a divine figure, but about our place in this universe. an eclipse is a magical thing to see if you go further than just the day turning to night. venture with your mind outside the atmosphere, see it happen from 100000km from earth. god does not exist physically. he is only our image of the goal of evolution. the finished product of where life is accellerating to.
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something we both can enjoy??
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