need really really bad advice - Page 5

Michael Roth · 02-19-2004, 02:47 AM

Eat paint chips. Old ones. Perhaps off of a Doodad™.

Slartibartfast · 02-19-2004, 08:21 PM

Go to your company's main network room/closet, where all blinking lights are, and fiber optic lines, and cat 5 cables, and telco wiring, and co-ax cables.

Bask in the glory of the information age.

Then pull out your hedge trimmer and cut every wire you can reach.

Troubleshooter · 02-19-2004, 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Slartibartfast
Go to your company's main network room/closet, where all blinking lights are, and fiber optic lines, and cat 5 cables, and telco wiring, and co-ax cables.

Bask in the glory of the information age.

Then pull out your hedge trimmer and cut every wire you can reach.

Your thinking is small weedhopper. In the pursuit of true electronic damage a Super-Soaker 2000 filled with solution of super-saturated saltwater is the ultimate implement of destruction.

Slartibartfast · 02-19-2004, 09:01 PM

I like the fact that minimal physical damage is done with the hedge trimmer, yet the time it would take to reconnect everything is monumental.

SteveDallas · 02-20-2004, 09:01 AM

Especially if all those connections are undocumented... but no. That would never happen. Everybody has complete & up-to-date documentation on where the data & voice wiring goes.

Troubleshooter · 02-20-2004, 09:57 AM

Ah, gotcha.

Yeah the rewiring works if you don't want to cause too much physical damage.

Anybody here read the Bastard Opperator From Hell?

xoxoxoBruce · 02-20-2004, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Michael Roth
Eat paint chips. Old ones. Perhaps off of a Doodad™.

Mike, DoDad is TM, Doodad is a legitimate word that spellchecker will accept.

Slartibartfast · 02-20-2004, 10:52 AM

Originally posted by Troubleshooter
Ah, gotcha.

Yeah the rewiring works if you don't want to cause too much physical damage.

Just a preference. It's the difference between taking somebody's completed 8000 piece jigsaw puzzle and scattering the pieces all over the floor, compared to pouring kerosine over the whole thing and lighting it.

Anybody here read the Bastard Opperator From Hell? [/quote]

I read the first few. The technology is a little dated by now, but its meanness withstands the test of time. Great stuff.

>clickety clickety click<...

Vilia Sonoben · 02-20-2004, 10:57 AM

Sever your ring finger from your hand and lose your wedding ring down the drain of any fastfood's restroom facilities.

And then tell your SO that one of the nurses must have stolen it.

Or right after you get any sort of dentist work done, go stock up on gummie worms. Torture at its best.

novice · 02-20-2004, 11:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Vilia Sonoben
Sever your ring finger from your hand and lose your wedding ring down the drain of any fastfood's restroom facilities.

And then tell your SO that one of the nurses must have stolen it.

Isn't this the plot line from a Law and Order-SVU episode?

Happy Monkey · 02-20-2004, 10:25 PM

BOFH is still regularly updated on The Register. Just look for a headline with "BOFH". I don't think it's as good as it used to be, but it can be fun.

xoxoxoBruce · 02-20-2004, 10:37 PM

I noticed the BOFH that's up now points to 4 years of archives at the bottom of the page.

Vilia Sonoben · 02-21-2004, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Isn't this the plot line from a Law and Order-SVU episode?

Hmm. How did you *ever* guess?

Unfortunately, the severed finger does not have to be raped/sodomized/touched wrongly from your hand. However, if you prefer the SVU version of events, by all means go for it.

lookout123 · 07-29-2005, 05:51 PM

let's revive this one - it looked like fun.

here's my suggestion for someone outthere - Urge your SO to enter an amateur night competition at a local strip club - then vote for one of the other contestants.

Trilby · 07-29-2005, 07:59 PM

Stop showering. Wear the same clothes every day and night (sleep in them) for months and step in all the dog-doo you can find. Mutter to yourself and have occasional violent outbursts. Stare really long and hard at people.

02-19-2004, 02:47 AM	#61
Michael Roth Minister of Lurking Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: calgary Posts: 64	Eat paint chips. Old ones. Perhaps off of a Doodad™. __________________ "But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked. "Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat: "We are all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat. "Or else you wouldn't have come here."

02-20-2004, 09:57 AM	#66
Troubleshooter The urban Jane Goodall Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Florida Posts: 3,012	Ah, gotcha. Yeah the rewiring works if you don't want to cause too much physical damage. Anybody here read the Bastard Opperator From Hell? __________________ I have gained this from philosophy: that I do without being commanded what others do only from fear of the law. - Aristotle

02-20-2004, 10:57 AM	#69
Vilia Sonoben Just a Balance Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 13	Sever your ring finger from your hand and lose your wedding ring down the drain of any fastfood's restroom facilities. And then tell your SO that one of the nurses must have stolen it. Or right after you get any sort of dentist work done, go stock up on gummie worms. Torture at its best. __________________ Anger management starts tomorrow. Wish me luck.

02-20-2004, 10:25 PM	#71
Happy Monkey I think this line's mostly filler. Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: DC Posts: 13,575	BOFH is still regularly updated on The Register. Just look for a headline with "BOFH". I don't think it's as good as it used to be, but it can be fun. __________________ _________________ \|...............\| We live in the nick of times. \| Len 17, Wid 3 \| \|_______________\| [pics]

02-20-2004, 10:37 PM	#72
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	I noticed the BOFH that's up now points to 4 years of archives at the bottom of the page. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

02-19-2004, 08:21 PM	#62
Slartibartfast \|-0-\| <-0-> \|-0-\| Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: New Jersey Posts: 516	Go to your company's main network room/closet, where all blinking lights are, and fiber optic lines, and cat 5 cables, and telco wiring, and co-ax cables. Bask in the glory of the information age. Then pull out your hedge trimmer and cut every wire you can reach.

02-19-2004, 09:01 PM	#64
Slartibartfast \|-0-\| <-0-> \|-0-\| Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: New Jersey Posts: 516	I like the fact that minimal physical damage is done with the hedge trimmer, yet the time it would take to reconnect everything is monumental.

02-20-2004, 09:01 AM	#65
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	Especially if all those connections are undocumented... but no. That would never happen. Everybody has complete & up-to-date documentation on where the data & voice wiring goes.

02-20-2004, 10:52 AM	#68
Slartibartfast \|-0-\| <-0-> \|-0-\| Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: New Jersey Posts: 516	Originally posted by Troubleshooter Ah, gotcha. Yeah the rewiring works if you don't want to cause too much physical damage. Just a preference. It's the difference between taking somebody's completed 8000 piece jigsaw puzzle and scattering the pieces all over the floor, compared to pouring kerosine over the whole thing and lighting it. Anybody here read the Bastard Opperator From Hell? [/quote] I read the first few. The technology is a little dated by now, but its meanness withstands the test of time. Great stuff. >clickety clickety click<...

07-29-2005, 05:51 PM	#74
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	let's revive this one - it looked like fun. here's my suggestion for someone outthere - Urge your SO to enter an amateur night competition at a local strip club - then vote for one of the other contestants. __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

07-29-2005, 07:59 PM	#75
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Stop showering. Wear the same clothes every day and night (sleep in them) for months and step in all the dog-doo you can find. Mutter to yourself and have occasional violent outbursts. Stare really long and hard at people. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

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