What might be making you a tad apprehensive, but might not, as it's too soon to tell - Page 37

Undertoad · 03-03-2014, 05:09 PM

I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body.

. . . Then I realized — well, look what's telling me this.

DanaC · 03-03-2014, 05:17 PM

Got some new underwear!

...well, new to me

Undertoad · 03-03-2014, 05:18 PM

People ask me how much I weigh. I tell them, 145 pounds, naked. That is, if that scale outside the drugstore is anything to go by.

footfootfoot · 03-04-2014, 11:04 AM

How is Steven wright not on that list?
Kathleen Madigan?

infinite monkey · 03-04-2014, 01:39 PM

i had a dream the other night. i was asking someone about Gary Wright. whoever i was talking to said 'oh, that one-liner guy.' i was like, no, that's stephen wright. gary wright did Dream Weaver.

the next day i got into my car and the radio station had just started playing Dream Weaver. seriously.

also, my older bro had emo as the entertainer for a conference. he has pics with him. i'm the envy.

my favorite emo is him talking about being alone at night in the dark. he says he starts singing (in a shaky scared voice): whenever i feel afraid, i whistle a happy tune...

then he hears a voice: thanks, i thought i'd never find you in the dark.

Undertoad · 03-04-2014, 01:48 PM

Steven Wright is #12 on my list, as is Eddie Izzard and Lewis Black.

footfootfoot · 03-04-2014, 06:51 PM

I'm going to have to check out emo philips again

DanaC · 03-05-2014, 04:32 AM

Stephen wright = comedy genius.

The ski lift story was always my favourite. And the one about burglars breaking into his house and replacing all his stuff with exact replicas.

And Izzard I always loved. Just what a guy.

infinite monkey · 03-05-2014, 08:21 AM

I still use that line. As "Oh crap, someone broke into your house while you were gone and replaced everything with an exact replica!"

That or "everywhere is walking distance if you have the time." Or "you can't have everything. Where would you put it?"

Steven Wright reversed the peephole on his door. He said he could see people coming from miles away. "Who is it? Who is it going to be when you get here?"

Must've watched his stand up routine a hundred times.

Here are pages and pages of his jokes:

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/au...en_wright.html

Excuse me while I go laugh for an hour or so!

infinite monkey · 03-05-2014, 08:25 AM

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
--Steven Wright

Here's a good tagline: Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

infinite monkey · 03-05-2014, 08:36 AM

Here's a clip of emo from my old favorite show: Dr Katz Professional Therapist

glatt · 03-05-2014, 08:49 AM

I loved Dr. Katz.

footfootfoot · 03-05-2014, 09:53 AM

It's a small world but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.

Another great Steven Wright line

DanaC · 03-05-2014, 11:40 AM

Oh I used to love Dr Katz!

glatt · 03-24-2014, 01:49 PM

Mildly apprehensive, as it's half a world away, but Ebola outbreaks are back.

03-04-2014, 11:04 AM	#544
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	What might be making you a tad apprehensive, but might not, as it's too soon ... How is Steven wright not on that list? Kathleen Madigan? __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs Last edited by footfootfoot; 03-04-2014 at 11:15 AM.

03-04-2014, 06:51 PM	#547
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	I'm going to have to check out emo philips again __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

03-05-2014, 08:21 AM	#549
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	I still use that line. As "Oh crap, someone broke into your house while you were gone and replaced everything with an exact replica!" That or "everywhere is walking distance if you have the time." Or "you can't have everything. Where would you put it?" Steven Wright reversed the peephole on his door. He said he could see people coming from miles away. "Who is it? Who is it going to be when you get here?" Must've watched his stand up routine a hundred times. Here are pages and pages of his jokes: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/au...en_wright.html Excuse me while I go laugh for an hour or so! Last edited by infinite monkey; 03-05-2014 at 10:06 AM. Reason: fixed name spelling

03-05-2014, 08:25 AM	#550
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. --Steven Wright Here's a good tagline: Is it weird in here, or is it just me? Last edited by infinite monkey; 03-05-2014 at 10:06 AM. Reason: fixed name spelling

03-05-2014, 09:53 AM	#553
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	It's a small world but I wouldn't want to have to paint it. Another great Steven Wright line __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

03-03-2014, 05:09 PM	#541
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. . . . Then I realized — well, look what's telling me this.

03-03-2014, 05:18 PM	#543
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	People ask me how much I weigh. I tell them, 145 pounds, naked. That is, if that scale outside the drugstore is anything to go by.

03-04-2014, 01:39 PM	#545
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	i had a dream the other night. i was asking someone about Gary Wright. whoever i was talking to said 'oh, that one-liner guy.' i was like, no, that's stephen wright. gary wright did Dream Weaver. the next day i got into my car and the radio station had just started playing Dream Weaver. seriously. also, my older bro had emo as the entertainer for a conference. he has pics with him. i'm the envy. my favorite emo is him talking about being alone at night in the dark. he says he starts singing (in a shaky scared voice): whenever i feel afraid, i whistle a happy tune... then he hears a voice: thanks, i thought i'd never find you in the dark.

03-04-2014, 01:48 PM	#546
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Steven Wright is #12 on my list, as is Eddie Izzard and Lewis Black.

03-05-2014, 08:36 AM	#551
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	Here's a clip of emo from my old favorite show: Dr Katz Professional Therapist

03-05-2014, 08:49 AM	#552
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	I loved Dr. Katz.

03-24-2014, 01:49 PM	#555
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	Mildly apprehensive, as it's half a world away, but Ebola outbreaks are back.

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